Matching the door to door is a deep-rooted traditional concept in China for thousands of years.
This "family match" not only refers to the equivalent of family status, economic income, etc., but also refers to the marital status of men and women, that is, single with single, divorced and divorced, and there will be no combination of single and divorced.
If you are single, even if you are in your thirties or forties, as long as you find a single person, you will definitely not provoke outsiders to point fingers and make irresponsible remarks. If you find a divorced, you will definitely suffer from strange eyes and gossip from outsiders.
You are single, how can you find a divorced person? Could it be that you have something wrong with yourself, something that is difficult to say? Or ......
And now, I don't know if you have noticed, a rock-solid, traditional concept of marriage and love has begun to loosen, which is manifested in the fact that older men in the countryside have begun to marry second-married women.
This phenomenon, in fact, has long been loosened in large and small cities, and it has long been lurking and growing. It's just that you didn't notice it, or you didn't pay attention to it. As for the rural areas, because they are tightly bound by traditional concepts and deeply poisoned, they have been relatively slow to appear. In recent years, this phenomenon has gradually surfaced and attracted the attention of the world.
I think that in China, the place where traditional concepts, outdated ideas, and outdated consciousness are most serious is in the countryside. If nothing else, the concept of having children is deeply rooted in the hearts of the people. Once someone has a son, not only is the family happy and honored, but the whole village is also envious and admired. Once several of the family's daughters are daughters, no matter what happened to the family, others will point out and discuss behind their backs. As long as there is a son in someone's family, their waist will be straight. Otherwise, you will always feel inferior, and you will always feel indebted and lacking.
"There are three unfilial pieties, and no queen is greater. ”
So it is with having a son, and so it is with marriage.
I don't know when the traditional concept of marriage and love began to loosen in the countryside. I think this is a good thing, not only for the parties, but also for the country and the nation, it is a happy event with all benefits and no disadvantages!
Although I haven't counted them in detail, I've only heard that nowadays, in the countryside, in every village, there must be dozens of young men of all ages. In my village, there are still more than 30 older young men, and the oldest one is close to 50. And this doesn't include the old singles, who were born out of poverty and bad backgrounds in their early years. There are many such old singles in my village, and there are two families of brothers who are singles.
These more than 30 older men don't want to find a partner, but they want to be very eager and desperate, so why can't they find it?
The reason is not low income, not family poverty, not bad background, not bad reputation, not bad looks, but only that there are no women to find. In other words, there are too few young women who are not married!
It is said that during the Chinese New Year, it should be the time when there are the most people and the most together, I don't know if you have found it, at this time, if you want to find an unmarried young woman, it is no different from *** to find a needle, which is more difficult than climbing to the sky. But young men, especially the older ones, grab a handful, and they are everywhere.
Of course, this has an inescapable relationship with the serious imbalance in the gender ratio of our country!
There are few women themselves, and there are even fewer unmarried young women of the right age, and there are so few that they are pitiful, and they are so small that people's hearts are anxious, like sitting on pins and needles!
No matter how handsome a young man is, no matter how good his income is, no matter how high his status is, there is no suitable young woman, and he can only be helplessly single!
If there is no young woman of unmarried age who cannot be found for the time being, then the young man can only wait anxiously and wait again. This will inevitably lead to the age of young men, and the chances of becoming older young men are very high.
Some people, because of traditional concepts and old ideas, have no suitable object, so they have to find a suitable and suitable single young woman. Otherwise, resolutely do not get married.
There are two such people around me. One of them is still a public institution, and the person can also be long, with a car and a house, because I didn't find a suitable one, so I just waited. His goal is to find a "yellow flower girl". Year after year, this year, I'm 39 years old, and I'm still single!
According to others, the object of this person's acquaintance was no less than one reinforcement company, and he had already met all the older young women in the county.
Someone once introduced him to a divorced person, and when he heard about it, he was furious, his face was pale, and he reprimanded others.
Many people tactfully persuaded him to change his mind, but he did not agree. Everyone can guess the results of waiting and waiting.
This person still holds a golden job, if he is purely a part-time worker, with an average salary, average appearance, and average ability, if he also wants to find a yellow flower girl, does he also have capital and strength?
The current situation is "more monks and less porridge". If you want to get a piece of the pie, the wisest and most urgent thing to do is to quickly change your thinking and change your concepts. No, someone soberly executed it - marrying a second-married girl.
It is difficult for a single man to marry a second-married woman, and he will also find outsiders to talk about it, but if he doesn't look for it, he can only get older and harder to find. Rather than wait until then, why not quickly lower your posture, bend down, and look for it now, immediately? In the future, when you are older, if you want to find a divorced girl again, you may not even look down on a ten-year-old grandmother.
Therefore, the marriage of older young men to a second-married woman is the result of a combination of factors such as a change in concept, a lower posture, a forced situation, and a wise choice
Yes, if you do this, others will point fingers, but it is countless times better than being a single person for a lifetime, having no children and being lonely and desolate, right? And it can also make the hearts of parents who have been hanging for most of their lives fall to the ground steadily, and their faces are bright! Raising children is not only to prevent old age, but more importantly, to pass on the ancestry! If a son can't find a partner, it means that he doesn't have offspring. Although I found a second-married daughter, but, at least, there is hope for offspring, isn't it?
Lowering the posture early, changing the concept early, and abandoning the old ideas as soon as possible is the most important thing that older young men should do, and it is also the most urgent thing!
To be honest, a few years ago, I didn't understand, disagree, or support older young men marrying second-married women. Four years ago, my mother told me that a young man in my village had married a second-married girl, and I didn't understand it very much, and I didn't agree with it very much, but now, I saw through it and saw it. If you don't change your thinking quickly, what awaits you is very likely to be single for a lifetime, and you will end up in a lonely, desolate and miserable old age!
Older young men, you must see the big situation clearly, re-examine yourself, change your concept as soon as possible, and start as soon as possible, whether it is a black cat or a white cat, as long as you catch it, it is a good cat!
In short, you must understand that marriage is not only your own business, but also about your parents and relatives, involving the succession of family members, and affecting your reputation.
In short, you must understand that starting a family as early as possible is to maintain the stability and harmony of the country, and to contribute to the rejuvenation and prosperity of the nation, and to make great contributions!
I am @ Xinhua in my hand, looking at the world and expressing my emotions! 】