Professor Howard Kinson, a social science researcher at Columbia University, has orchestrated and executed a research project that delves into the sources of human happiness.
He disseminated more than 10,000 questionnaires, but only 121 of the respondents said they were living extremely happily in the sea of responses.
What is particularly striking is that among the 121 people who claim to be happy, not all of them are successful people with a lot of money, but the majority of them are ordinary and unaffluent characters: small traders who work hard in the market, company employees who work quietly in the lattice, stay-at-home mothers who devote themselves to trivial household affairs, and even homeless people who rely on handouts to make ends meet.
At first, Professor Howard Kinson was puzzled by this phenomenon, how could these people, under the weight of life, blossom with such pure and full joy.
As the research deepened, a subversive conclusion gradually emerged: true happiness does not seem to be directly related to the amount of wealth, but more depends on the individual's cognitive attitude towards life and the way of coping.
Can we accept all kinds of imperfections in life, and then let go of the inner entanglement and stubbornness?
Can you adapt to the ups and downs of fate and flexibly adjust your pace of life without losing your sense of rhythm? The answers to these questions reveal the essence of happiness – the pursuit of happiness is a human instinct, and achieving happiness is a kind of life wisdom that needs to be cultivated.
So, how do we cultivate this endogenous "happiness"?
You might as well improve and temper yourself from the following three dimensions: First, ......(The specific three aspects can be further described here.)
Turning power
Have you ever experienced such a moment?
At the end of a hard day, I longed to immerse myself in deep dreams, but when my body sank into the bed, my thoughts flowed like a tide.
regret chatting with colleagues about leadership matters, blaming themselves for scolding their children, and feeling guilty for failing to give their parents enough company; Looking back, if you can devote yourself to your studies again, maybe you can win more lucrative rewards by changing careers, or seize the missed opportunity to get ahead......
All kinds of emotions are intertwined, and resentment, unwillingness, and disappointment are like a torrent in the dark night, making people toss and turn, and anxious. These troublesome memories lurk deep in the heart, and once they are unintentionally touched, they can instantly plunge people into a whirlpool of pain.
It turns out that the hardships of life do not come from the outside world, but are caused by inner turmoil and chaos.
Therefore, we need to learn to calm down complicated thoughts, stay away from unnecessary internal friction, deal with the changes of the world with a calm attitude, and no longer be nostalgic for the past gains and losses.
There is an inspiring little story that once circulated that when former British Prime Minister George was strolling with friends, he would close a door whenever he passed by. The friend was puzzled: "Why did you close the door so in time?" George smiled and responded, "It's crucial.
Closing a door means saying goodbye to the past and starting anew. "It is true that those who dwell on the past cannot reach the future, and excessive memories only add to the burden of life.
Only by knowing how to let go of what should be put down and forget what should be forgotten in a timely manner can we move forward lightly and run towards the far ahead.
The most precious thing in life is not the unattainable "unattainable" and the vanished "lost", but the moment that can be grasped by everyone.
Let's focus on the present moment and look forward bravely, because those who have been in the past will eventually become passers-by in the long river of time. As Mo Yan said: "The world turns the book, and the pages are quietly turned over." ”
Only by learning to turn the page can we write a more wonderful chapter of tomorrow for our lives.
Regenerative power
On the Internet, I have seen the experience of a top chef.
This chef, like others, also learned to cook step by step, and worked hard to get to work.
But in the past few years, it has not been good, many restaurants have closed, he has changed jobs frequently, not to mention, and the money has become less and less.
Seeing that he was going to lose his job again this year, he didn't want to sit back and wait any longer, so he decided to take the initiative and create his own characteristics.
He no longer guards the pot every day, but spends a lot of energy on developing special dishes, and then uses the "secret recipe" to become a shareholder, join a chain hotel, and enjoy dividends.
Not only that, but he also used his spare time to make special dishes to teach** and sell them in the live broadcast room.
Now, even if there is no restaurant to hire him, he can still support his family with dividends and live broadcast income.
As for the rest of the peers, they are still tired of getting that little salary on the old road.
Chef said: "The trick to getting to where I am today is not to stick to experience and take the initiative to seek new changes." ”
Did you find it? People who are evolutionary are more likely to succeed.
Otherwise, you will fall into a situation of being stupid and futile in your work.
Life is full of uncertainties, changes in work, accidents in life, never greet you in advance.
If you live with an iron rice bowl, you can only resign yourself to fate, and you will be eliminated first;
If you stick to the rules and live a life, you can only go against the grain and let the tide of life wash away.
If we don't want to be boiled in warm water, we have to evolve like Darwin's finch.
Be open-minded, embrace change, explore new worlds, and dabble in the unknown.
Adhere to deep learning, stay away from superficial entertainment and fragmented information torrents, constantly update knowledge inventory, and enrich internal connotation;
Be diligent in exercising thinking ability, improve cognitive dimension, have the courage to break through self-limitations, break free from the shackles of inefficient efforts, and let the light of wisdom shine.
As the saying goes, "Gou is new, every day is new, and every day is new", there is a new self every day, and continuous iteration can be endless.
Only with a strong regenerative power can we navigate the rapidly changing tide of the times and calmly meet all challenges.
Adjust the force
On the internet, I once learned about the experience of a top chef.
The chef used to learn the cooking skills step by step and commute to work without complaint, just like everyone else.
However, in recent years, the market situation has been poor, many restaurants have been forced to close, he has had to change jobs frequently, and his income has gradually decreased.
With a job loss on the horizon this year, he decided to take the initiative and build his own unique brand.
He no longer focuses on his daily cooking work, but invests a lot of energy in the research and development of special dishes, and uses the "secret recipe" as capital to join the hotel chain, so as to enjoy dividends.
In addition, he also uses his spare time to make teaching specialties ** and sell them in the live broadcast room.
Today, even without a restaurant to hire him, he is still able to support his family through dividends and live streaming income. And his peers are still exhausted on the traditional path and receive a meager salary.
"The key to where I am today is not to rest on my laurels and to actively seek innovation and change," the chef said. "In fact, people with the ability to evolve are more likely to succeed when faced with challenges.
Otherwise, they may be stuck in a situation of blind effort and futile effort.
Life is full of uncertainties, and changes in work and accidents in life always come unexpectedly. If you live with an iron rice bowl, then you can only resign yourself to fate, and you are likely to be the first to be eliminated; In the same way, if you live according to the rules, you can only go against the grain and be at the mercy of the torrent of life.
Therefore, if we don't want to be boiled like a frog in warm water, we must continue to evolve like Darwin's finch.
If you feel tired, you will take a vacation for your body and mind, stop and set off again, and maybe you can encounter more beautiful scenery;
If you feel bored, you can have a sense of ritual, buy a bouquet of flowers, and cook a big meal are all good choices;
When you are depressed, go out for a walk and see your friends;
When you're fidgety, just be quiet in solitude.
Learn to adjust yourself and live yourself like a pool of living water, so that you can easily bypass the obstacles of life.
Write at the end
Whenever I feel bored in life, I re-read the fairy tale Anne of Green Gables.
Anne, an 11-year-old orphan, has had an ill-fated life, suffering from poverty and bullying since she was a child, and has no chance of happiness. However, it is this thin little girl with a rough fate who lives so happily.
Especially after being adopted by the old lady Marella, her life at Green Gables Farm is full of endless fun. She rarely mentions tragic past experiences, preferring to talk about exotic birds in the woods and adventures in the bushes.
She was curious, studying textiles, cooking, winemaking, reading books and taking difficult exams.
What I admire most is Anne's calmness in the face of all changes. At the end of the story, she was admitted to college and could have found a good job in the city after graduation, but at a critical moment, Marella suddenly became seriously ill and could no longer pay her tuition.
Anne did not complain about the unfairness of fate, nor did she cry incessantly, but decisively took a leave of absence from school and went home to take care of Marella. After Marella's condition improved, she became an elementary school teacher at the farm.
Sometimes, I wonder why such an unfortunate person can live such a good life.
The answer lies in the ability of little Anne to always find a way to make herself happy. She does not indulge in the past and does not close herself, but skillfully maneuvers with fate and adjusts her pace of life in time.
It is difficult for such a person to be unhappy.
I deeply believe in the saying, "A truly exceptional person never focuses on doing something good in others, but puts his heart and soul into self-improvement." ”
In this long journey of life, the pursuit of praise from the outside world and the desire for fame and fortune are not the end of life.
The real goal is to create a comfortable, stable and down-to-earth state of life, which is precisely the essence of high-quality life.
May we all be able to persevere in the vicissitudes of the world, stand tall under the baptism of time, first bathe ourselves in the sunshine of happiness, and then spread this warmth to all things.
In this way, we will go hand in hand with our friends.