Mo Yan once said: "The better your character, the fewer friends you have; The kinder the heart, the more suffering. "This made a lot of people think so. Walking in the world, having good thoughts in your heart is a beautiful thing, and being a good person is also a lifelong principle. But I slowly discovered that in this materialistic world, good people may have good rewards, but "good people" do not. Blindly being a "good old man" wronged himself, fulfilled others, and pleased others' moods, but ignored his own feelings. In the long run, not only will you not be respected and cherished by others, but you will also make your life more and more tired. Therefore, people often say, "Good people have good rewards, but 'good people' do not." ”
There is a limit to everything, and so is kindnessAs the saying goes: "Ascend to Mien, fight Mi Hate." This is a small story that circulates among the people: in ancient times, there was a village with two farmers who made a living from farming, one surnamed Zhang and the other surnamed Li. The two families have always had a good relationship, and they usually help each other in farming. However, one year when the natural disaster was ruthless, every household had no harvest, and the Zhang family's surplus grain from previous years was sold to buy household needs, so the family was about to starve to death. And the Li family lives frugally, and there is still some surplus food that can make the family have food and clothing. Seeing this situation, the Li family was quite kind, so they lent the Zhang family a liter of rice, and the Zhang family was grateful to Dade, and the Li family also began the road of poverty alleviation. But as time went on, the Li family's rice became less and less, and life became stressful, and they could no longer take out so much rice for the Zhang family to eat. Until one time, after the Li family took out a bucket of rice, they had no ability to give Zhang family rice anymore, and the Zhang family was immediately unhappy, so they spread bad words about the Li family everywhere. The Li family was originally a gratuitous kind help, and the Zhang family had been asking for it, but because suddenly one day the rice became less or even gone, so they turned their faces and didn't recognize people. Helping others is a virtue, but helping others without a bottom line will only hurt yourself. The Li family could never have imagined that the person who had been sincerely helping was fed into an enemy by himself. If you can help others in their time of need, others will be grateful. But if you keep giving, giving too much makes others dependent and form a habit, others will only take your kind help for granted. Once you stop helping one day, the other person will feel resentment in their hearts and turn against each other. The human heart is like this, we praise the goodness of human nature, but we also underestimate the evil of human nature. There is a limit to everything, and so is kindnessGiving and helping too much will only make oneself cheaper and cheaper, lose a certain degree, and indulge the evil of human nature. Your kindness must be a little sharpAs the saying goes: "People are good at being bullied, and horses are good at being ridden." Anhui's "lunch sister", who insisted on not raising prices for 9 years, paid more than 30 dishes for 10 yuan, providing convenience for farmers and workers at nearby construction sites, but was forced to close down by netizens who flocked to it. Obviously, more and more people came to eat boxed lunches, but her income became less and less, and she even began to lose money, food and vegetables were wasted, and her peaceful life was disrupted. "Sister Lunch" ended up crying, is there anything wrong with her kindness? But her kindness was finally let down. "Grandpa Sugar Water", who has set up a stall for 17 years and only sells for 2 yuan, has been on the hot search, but has been questioned by "hearted" netizens about not wearing masks and gloves, unclean ingredients, and unhygienic environment. There are even many more outrageous comments, "Grandpa Sugar Water" has suffered serious cyberbullying. In the face of those overwhelming Internet violence, grandpa's heart was broken, he never went out of the stall again, and returned to his hometown in desperation. But in fact, sugar water is not dirty, it is the human heart that is dirty. Shandong "Brother Coat" Zhu Zhiwen, after becoming popular, donated money to his hometown, repaired roads, lent money to neighbors, and did all the good things he could. However, some villagers did not give up, and even said: "He just built this road, and he built too little." Some villagers said: "If you want me to say that he is good, I will buy a car for each person, and give 10,000 yuan for each person." The door of "Brother Coat" was kicked open, and there were cameras at the door of the house, and some people even squatted on the wall to film his life. He was kidnapped by Daode and forced to cooperate with villagers to take pictures, and those who had been helped said that they were not good enough......There is a line in the movie "The Godfather" that says: "Soft-heartedness without boundaries will only make the other party gain an inch; Unprincipled kindness will only make the other person do whatever he wants. ”Walking in the world, it is never the kindness that is wrong, but those who wantonly consume the kindness of others. So your kindness must be principled and have a bottom line, kindness is right, but please be sure to bring a bit of edge. After all, not all kindness can be treated well; Not all kindness can be cherished. May you continue to be a good person for the rest of your life, with good thoughts in your heart, but you must have thorns in your body and not lose your edge. 
Let go of the people-pleasing personality in order to be respectedPsychologist Susan Newman has pointed out:"The pleaser lives in the expectation of others, constantly chasing the approval of others, and they are willing to do anything for it. They always put the needs of others before their own, and even if the other person's requirements are unreasonable, they will bite the bullet to meet them. ”The character Yu Huanshui in the TV series "I Am Yu Huanshui" used to be a typical "good old man", with a strong pleasing personality, which made him suffer a lot of grievances. Yu Huanshui in the workplace always cares about other people's face, considers the interests of others, he is humble and compromised in love, and he has to be used by friends in life......But even though he adheres to the image of a "good old man", he is still not welcomed. Treat superiors with trepidation, treat colleagues with dedication, treat lovers and friends sincerely, throw out a piece of sincerity, sacrifice their own interests, to meet the interests of others, but in the end they are ignored. Later, Yu Huanshui thought that he was terminally ill, and finally decided to let go of his humble "pleasing personality", and he was bullied everywhere and finally got rid of the shackles of "good old man". After losing the image of a "good old man", the leaders and colleagues around him became polite to him, and he regained his respect. When the leader sarcastically mocked him, he pushed back; When his colleagues ridiculed him, he also spoke harshly at his colleagues. When talking to the superior leaders, Yu Huanshui also dared to tell the truth, instead of the previous promises. He even refuted the leader's opinion, which also made his boss look up to him with admiration, and he was able to be promoted to the post as a confidant. Yu Huanshui, who got rid of the "pleasing personality", finally used his infectious power to make the leader respect him, let his colleagues respect him, and let the people around him respect him. Being a good person is a good thing, but if you keep being a "good person", you will only be physically and mentally exhausted. Only when you let go of the "people-pleasing personality" that focuses on others, put the focus of your life on yourself, and no longer wronged yourself, can you also gain the respect of others. 
What people are most afraid of is that if you are not kind yourself, you will consume the kindness of others, and stand on the moral high ground to point fingers at others. Reality can tell us more and more that it is difficult to be a person, it is even more difficult to be a good person, and it is not only difficult to be a "good person", but also to hurt yourself. But those good people with good intentions should be respected, guarded, and understood, not trampled on and destroyed wantonly. The best life, everything has a degree, stay kind, but there must be a degree; As a human being, may you always stick to kindness, but you must also be sharp; People live for a lifetime, and the most important thing is to be brave enough to let go of the heart of pleasing others and please yourself. In a long life, you can not stab people, but there must be thorns on your body. In the days to come, may you have thorns in your body and light in your heart, and may all the good things of you and me be treated gently by this world. ClickThumbs up, and encourage you.