Network diagramMy boyfriend has been staying at my house a few times before, and he came to our house again three days ago, and it was not too timely, my mother had a cold and was on an infusion. He hesitated to come, and it was my fault for this matter, I said let him come, I played with him, and my dad could accompany my mom. We haven't seen each other for half a year. After he left today, my mom told me that she felt: 1He is not sunny, not very good at communicating with people, and cannot speak flexibly. From my point of view, my boyfriend is indeed a bit sluggish, sometimes he reacts slowly and I know it, and he is really more direct when he speaks. In addition, he doesn't understand the dialect of our side very quickly, we are all from a province, I think his language talent is relatively weak, he couldn't understand it at all when he came to our house at first, and he didn't know his name. Later, it slowly got better, and now the slow ones can understand. 2.We tried on shoes together, and he tried it and didn't like it, and my mom felt like he showed it on his face very quickly. 3.He often has swallowing and blinking, and this is because he has pharyngitis and rhinitis. I also told my mom the reason, but she thought it was a disease and it wouldn't work in the future. 4.He wore a very ugly and pilly sweater, a loose coat, and patched shoes。My mom thought it was a sign that their family didn't respect me and didn't like me. However, in fact, this is the most beautiful dress that my boyfriend thinks, and the sweater I chose for him before, I think it looks good. The shoes were bought before about 3k more, and he broke a place while riding a bicycle on a rainy day, and he was reluctant to throw it, so he made up for it and continued to wear it, and it has been more than a year now. The other day they had a class reunion, he also wore this outfit, and I used it to refute my mother. She said: She only looks at the situation in our family, and she thinks he is very bad. 5.My mom felt a sense of disgust in his eyes, and said that if we got married in the future, we would get divorced, and he might even be abusive. In reality, we have been together for more than two years, and judging from the current performance, he is very good to me, generous with his money, good at providing emotional value, and caring in all aspects. But it's true that I can't pack a ticket for the future. 6.My mom thinks my mom gets sick every time he comes. She felt that she might be impulsive, and said that she would find someone to calculate. The first time he came, my mom fell at home and fell purple. I've been here once before, and my mom has a cold. This time it's a more severe cold. I think it's mainly because it's not very bright, my mom told me to think about it years ago, and she wanted me to break up. My boyfriend's family is in business, selling clothes or something, and my mother said that people in business are not good and calculating. I didn't like my boyfriend much at first, but then I liked it more and more. I started crying tonight as soon as my mom said that, I really didn't want to break up. Want to see what you think? **Douban group.
Emma
It's up to you to decide.
Subject, the shopkeeper understands your thoughts very well, and to some extent is a little compassionate, but this sympathy is from the perspective of your filial piety. It's understandable that parents think a lot about their children, but there's no need to be that your children need to follow their advice every step of the way. The words of the elders can be referred to, but they cannot be finalized. It's up to you to decide.
Your mother seems to be looking at people through tinted glasses. Whether in terms of his so-called "language talent" or dress, it feels like as soon as your boyfriend shows up, your mother starts to criticize. Is it his problem or is it more of your mother's problem?
Secondly, when you say that you are inseparable from this relationship, how should you put your own mentality? It's not shopping, you don't like what your parents say you don't like, and then you miss out on your favorite things. The shopkeeper thinks that there is nothing wrong with your boyfriend. I hope you can listen more to your inner thoughts and continue your relationship.
y
Your feelings for your boyfriend are also not as strong.
The future mother-in-law is a person who attaches great importance to appearance, and will judge his attitude towards herself from the way others dress and behave; Your boyfriend's current appearance is not at all the one your mom approves. Your boyfriend has been to your house several times, but he doesn't seem to be aware of the aforementioned points, so he can't make changes to make your mom more satisfied. Is this stupid? It can be said that it is really stupid. In fact, if this is the case, the relationship between the two of you is not necessarily fundamentally problematic. If you can completely side with him and make an alliance with your mother, some of the thorns that your mother has picked on him will likely gradually dissolve. However, what I see is that while you also defend your boyfriend in some ways, your mom has a very big influence on you when it comes to your relationship with him. Your mother even put forward such a trumped-up statement as "his eyes are not right, and he will be violent in the future", "I will be sick as soon as he comes", and "I will be killed", don't you think it is ridiculous, and you can't confirm what will happen in the future? To put it simply, your mother just doesn't like your boyfriend in her heart, so she can find countless faults；Your feelings for your boyfriend are also not as strong. Especially your vacillation, he is also unaware of this, isn't that stupid? But isn't it pitiful for him to be like you and your mother? Your mother who is shrewd and picky and you who are not brave enough, it is better to let this stupid young man go.
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