As the saying goes: "Don't trust those who seem to be straightforward and selfless, you must beware of those who seem to be benevolent and benevolent, but they have lost their conscience!" ”
Some people look righteous and awe-inspiring, but in fact they are extremely cunning in their hearts; And some people seem to be sanctimonious, but behind the scenes, they are full of ugliness and disgusting. The human heart is often hidden and unfathomable, and its mysteries cannot be easily glimpsed just from the surface.
Around us, whether it is relatives and friends, or colleagues who get along day and night, are they human beings, or devils in human skin? Here are five ways you can gain insight into one or two of them.
1. How do you behave in the face of money and material interests?
A philosopher and celebrity once sighed: "The truest side of human nature always reveals its prototype under the ** of money and interests." ”
In order to chase wealth, some people will not hesitate to give up family and friendship and become ruthless; In order to achieve the goal of pursuing selfish desires, some people do not hesitate to use means, and even more so at the expense of the happiness of others; Once the desire to chase fame and achievement takes hold, some people will even be cold-blooded and push innocent people into the abyss.
Why do money and interests reveal the true face of human nature so accurately? Mr. Sima Qian once clearly pointed out: "The people of the world are bustling, and they are all driven by interests. ”
Human beings are essentially such creatures, driven by interests that inspire endless power, and are also driven by interests to run around. No matter when and where, as long as there are interests in reality, people will inevitably behave differently. This is the so-called "mercenary" cancer of human nature.
Those principled and kind people, in the face of money and interests, can adhere to the moral code of "a gentleman loves money and takes it in the right way"; Those who have lost their principled goodness may be driven by greed, and their psychology may gradually become distorted and deformed, and they will become very ugly.
2. When you are in a predicament, what is the attitude of everyone towards you?
There are two sentences in my country's ancient teachings, which are thought-provoking: "Husband and wife are originally birds of the same forest, and they fly separately when disaster comes." And the famous poem "It's easy to put the icing on the cake, but it's hard to send charcoal in the snow." ”
These two proverbs are all reminding people that it is normal to share prosperity and hardship.
When you are unfortunate enough to be in trouble, and the people around you not only fail to help, but instead laugh and spread rumors, and even the most basic sympathy disappears, it is enough to prove that these people do not have any precious emotional ties with you, and their love for you is nothing more than a play.
However, if there is always someone who can lend a helping hand and always be there for you when you encounter setbacks and difficulties in your life, it will undoubtedly show that this person is full of genuine feelings for you. For such people, we must not casually live up to their deep friendship.
How good a person's moral bottom line is often depends on how he sees and responds to the care of others in the face of adversity. As a famous person said: "When you are prosperous and rich, you find that you are surrounded by 'good people';When I was destitute, all I saw were 'wicked people.'" ”
3. Does a person have the virtue of remembering gratitude?
"Conscience" can be said to be the basic yardstick for measuring the quality of a person. A person with a conscience, no matter how bad his character is, will not be bad. On the contrary, if a person lacks a conscience, no matter how good it seems, it is also a "femme fatale", which makes people dare not compliment.
But what does true compassion really look like? In my opinion, whether a person is grateful to his parents at home, whether he can remember the benefactors who have given a helping hand, and whether he has a special relationship with him or those who have a deep affection for him or her are all key factors in determining whether a person has compassion.
If you find that a relative doesn't even have a grateful heart, it's best to dispel any expectations of them at this time. Because people who lack gratitude are often prone to disagreement and even betrayal of others.
Nowadays, the social atmosphere is changing day by day, and some people dare to betray their moral bottom line for the sake of money and profit, and forget the way of gratitude that they should abide by. This phenomenon makes those who are already scarce and exude the smell of sunshine all the more rare.
4. Delve into the mystery of the contrast between the image of the first person before and after the person!
In ancient times, we were told here, "It is difficult to draw a cat and a tiger, and it is difficult to draw bones, and you don't know your heart." ”
People often only see the outward appearance of others, but cannot understand their inner thoughts and motives, because people are likely to be full of deliberate disguise and deception in their words and deeds.
In order to truly understand a person's personality traits, we need to know how to use the "contrast method" to observe the diametrically opposed differences in his image in different situations. The smaller the difference in such an image, the more shallow his city is in; Conversely, the larger it is, it implies that his city is deep and good at camouflage.
Those who are simple-minded have everything they say and do around their true thoughts, so the difference between the image before and after is extremely small; However, those who are full of scheming, they have no bottom line, they have one thing in their mouths and one thing in their hearts, and they are always characterized by inconsistencies between what they are on the outside and what they are.
Therefore, if you are an honest person, it is best not to associate deeply with people who are very inconsistent, so as not to be implicated by them and pay a heavy price.
5. Analyze the way of gain and loss in interpersonal relationships!
In all kinds of games in the world, we often hear the idea of "zero-sum game".
The meaning of this statement is that when all stakeholders are engaged in real competition, the gain of either party means that the other party must bear the corresponding loss. The sum of the gains and losses of each stakeholder is always "zero", so there is no possibility of achieving a win-win situation for both parties.
In other words, what one party gains is the form of the other party's loss, and the total amount of gains and losses between each party is always balanced, which is actually a typical behavior of "harming others and benefiting oneself".
Some people always like to make their own petty profits by calculating others; There are also those who do not hesitate to sacrifice the lives of others for the sake of their own livelihood, so as to protect their short-term or long-term rights and interests. We need to be vigilant against such an adversary who is righteous on the surface but is actually extremely sinister.
If there is a clear tendency or action towards our relatives, friends, or co-workers, then we should pay close attention to them, because they treat others like this, and will one day treat us the same.