The most terrible thing about a "nanny marriage" is not physical exhaustion, but spiritual exhaustion.
In the movie "Marriage Story", his wife Nicole is a well-known actor, and her husband Charlie is a well-known director.
Nicole always wanted to return to Los Angeles and restart her career. She tried to seek her husband's support, but each time she received only perfunctory. In the "warm water" called family, she gradually realized that her emotions were repeatedly ignored, her needs were sacrificed again and again, and finally her husband could not listen to any of her words.
She seems to have become a tool, a tool to meet the needs of the other person. Nicole said that she lost herself in this marriage, and she became more and more decayed and bleak, but Charlie became more and more energetic.
She is the woman behind the well-known director, she is a "good wife" and "good mother". It's just that her ego is constantly being squeezed, and she loses herself. In a two-person home, there is actually only one person, and she is just that appendage.
And Charlie, until he received a lawyer's letter from his wife applying for divorce, did he realize that there was something wrong with his marriage. After all, his heart never stayed at home. In fact, this is the most terrible thing about relationships--- not being seen.
This situation is constantly circulating, and sometimes we may begin to doubt our own worth and ability, and even begin to doubt the meaning of giving.
However, we need to recognize that giving does not necessarily require a response from the other party. Sometimes, we give for our own growth and progress, for our own inner satisfaction and peace. When we realize this, we no longer have high expectations of the other person's reaction, and we no longer feel lost and frustrated.
At the same time, we need to learn to express our needs and feelings at the right time. When we articulate our expectations and feelings to the other person, it may be easier for the other person to understand our needs and feelings and thus better respond to our efforts. In this way, we can break the cycle and build a healthier and more balanced relationship.