"Failure" tends to be a derogatory term in our eyes.
Therefore, some parents will be afraid of letting their children experience failure, fear of hitting their children's self-esteem, and fear of breaking down their children's psychological defenses.
But, you know what? Children in Finland generally learn to ski from an early age, and their first ski lesson is to practice falling.
Purely by yelling at the child or strict discipline, it is basically in vain, and the child is even more disgusted, I came over like this, until a few months ago, I studied for a period of time in the Gaotu beautiful family, and I learned too much with Mr. Song Li, at first because after the junior high school, the child's learning was originally in the middle of the stream, but after the junior high school added geography and biology, the child was very hard at the beginning, but in the second half of the year, the opportunity was very backward and even he was rotten and did not study!
The family was also very anxious, but they couldn't control their emotions, which caused the smell of gunpowder at home to be particularly strong during that time, basically blowing up at one point, and the child was becoming more and more rebellious. Ask the teacher for help, the teacher let the science guide, recommended the Gaotu beautiful family, the first half of the second year of junior high school, basically we stabilized, the child also realized the value of learning, caught up, and the atmosphere at home was also good, so it is worth learning.
In the failure practice again and again, the children not only no longer fear of falling, but also mastered the correct posture of how to get up after falling.
Bai Yansong once said, "Parents should not only teach their children how to win, but also teach them how to lose beautifully."
When a child fails, parents can first express their understanding of their child's feelings, "I know you didn't win the award this time, and I'm sad."
Then tell the child about his own failure experience, narrow the distance between him and the child, and tell him that the negative emotions that arise after failure are normal and not a big deal.
Finally, let your child focus on solving problems and guide him to think about how to do it to make things better.
When children take action, we should also pay attention to their efforts and progress in a timely manner, and do not be stingy with our own encouragement.
Just like the Finnish teacher taught the children, life is like skiing, falls and failures are not important, but the posture of getting up after falling is the most important. High Path