Yan Yuan once said:"The country is still courteous, the family is big, the body is upright, and the heart is still good. ”
As a country of etiquette, from ancient times to the present, our interpersonal exchanges have been based on "etiquette" first, and in this way, we have brought our relationship closer to each other.
And there is a very special relationship, from the perspective of blood, the two parties are not related, but in terms of identity, they are a family.
This is the kinship that is linked by the marriage of children, and two families who may never be related to each other have become relatives.
If you want to maintain this relationship, you must be thorough and know how to grasp the scale, neither too close nor too far.
In the process of dating, don't bring these 3 things when you visit, otherwise the two families may have enmity.
No arrogance
Before the children got married, the two families grew up in different environments, and there will always be gaps in economic conditions and concepts.
These differences are actually normal, and both parties should tolerate and understand each other, and respect each other's ideas, which is basic politeness.
But there are some families who think that their family is superior, showing superiority everywhere, and like to be mean to each other.
Or because the family is better than the other party, they find fault with the other party's poverty, criticize the other party's behavior and behavior, and are full of arrogance.
They even interfere in the feelings of their children, use provocative words to belittle and suppress each other's families, and completely disregard each other's dignity.
is like Aunt Xue in the TV series "Deep Love and Rain", she is a typical snob, relying on her wealth to be arrogant and rude to others.
The eldest son Er Hao and Adjutant Li's daughter Keyun fell in love, and she felt that the other party's status was inferior, so she obstructed it in every possible way and beat the mandarin ducks.
The second daughter, Ruping, fell in love with He Shuhuan, she secretly investigated the other party's background, and knew that his parents were powerful and powerful, so she allowed her daughter to associate with her.
In the face of He Shuhuan's colleague Du Fei, she never gave the other party a good face, just because the other party's family was too ordinary and had no reliance.
*There is a saying in the "Regulations"."The ritual of humility and the way of respect should be respected by the whole world. ”
Between the in-laws, they should be equal in status, and they must not be self-righteous, put on a high-minded appearance, and lose their hearts.
Only by sneering each other and saying good words can we trust each other and always maintain close contacts.
No greedy calculations
As a parent, everyone wants their children to live happily and enjoy more happiness for the rest of their lives, especially when it comes to marriage.
Whether it is the free love of children or the choice of blind dates, they will invariably carefully consider the actual conditions of the in-laws.
If the other party is from a rich family, they will naturally be happy, but if the other party's family is poor, they may often be discouraged.
But if such an idea is too extreme, it will put the cart before the horse, and turn the marriage relationship that should be based on feelings into a business.
Seeing that the other party's family has considerable wealth, he tried every means to take advantage of it and squeezed benefits from the other party in every possible way.
There is an even more excessive situation, which is to use children as a tool to make money, and want to use this marriage to turn over and climb to the sky in one step.
In Ganzhou, Jiangxi, there was an outrageous "bride price incident", which made everyone who heard it sigh at the greed of people's hearts.
A couple has been in love for many years, and when it comes to talking about marriage, the man and the woman go to their hometown to meet their parents and talk about the details of marriage.
When talking about the bride price, the woman's parents, the lion, opened their mouths and proposed a sky-high price of 10 million, and invited the whole village to participate.
The man was surprised when he heard it, but the other party said that he had inquired about the man's background a long time ago, and the money was not much for him.
Seeing that the other party was so insatiable, the man rationally proposed to break up with the woman, and an originally beautiful relationship was separated.
Marriage is not poverty alleviation, and vainly trying to turn a crow into a phoenix in this way is undoubtedly self-deception, and will only make others laugh and be generous.
No negativity
Living under the same roof, there will always be some friction and contradictions between husband and wife, and quarrels are inevitable in almost every family.
If the parents of both parties are involved, these problems will not only not help solve the problem, but will expand the conflict.
After all, even if a person is fair and just, he will be biased towards his own children, and it is easy to create contradictions if he is biased.
Coming to the door with negative emotions is already causing trouble from the source, and the final results are often unsatisfactory.
In the TV series "Double-sided Tape", the couple Yaping and Lijuan are most afraid that their parents will gather together and there will be disputes.
Lijuan's mother has always disliked the man's poor conditions, and every time she goes to the other party's house for dinner, she only cooks Northeast food, which is very unappetizing.
Yaping's father thought that the other party was stingy, and when he came back to eat, he came empty-handed, was rude and looked ugly.
Although the two sides don't say it on the surface, they can't get used to each other behind their backs, and naturally wear a pair of "colored glasses", full of complaints and complaints.
The young couple had a conflict, and the parents on both sides also jumped out to protect their children, but the family made a lot of trouble, and they couldn't be at peace.
Lincoln once said"It's harmful to pile up dissatisfaction in your heart, but it's never the best idea to fight back or vent it to others. ”
Since you are already a family, don't talk about two families, talk openly and honestly about contradictions and problems, and don't get along with emotions.
Pleasant face, reasonable and generous, so that the two families get along comfortably and have a happy relationship, is the best gift parents give to their children.
Xunzi has a saying:"If others are rude, they will not stand up, they will not succeed if they are rude, and the country will be rude and restless. ”
Between in-laws, it is especially necessary to know how to treat each other with courtesy, sincerity and respect, which is the basis for maintaining intimacy.
Relationships are all managed, less defensive and alienated, more accepting and recognized, getting along peacefully, and the future will be better.
The bond between the family and the in-laws lies in the children; Getting along with your in-laws is also a sign of love for your children.
For the sake of the happiness of your children, please put away your pride and prejudice, hide your selfishness and greed, and get along with your in-laws without emotion.