As the saying goes, "Marriage is like marriage." ”
Two families who were strangers were married to their children.
Most families, during the New Year's holidays, are indispensable to move back and forth between their in-laws.
And the most important of them is to be courteous, measured, and measured.
When you come to the door, you must not bring the following 4 things, so as not to make enemies between the two families and make your children angry!
*: Visual China.
No arrogance or prejudice
There is a saying in the Analects: "The use of etiquette, harmony is precious." ”
The function of etiquette is to make people's relationships more harmonious. Harmony and mutual respect are also the most basic etiquette cultivation for people to get along with.
However, there is inevitably an economic gap between in-laws, or they have different educational backgrounds, different outlooks and habits.
If they talk very happily, they come and go often; But if you can't talk about it, you must be cautious in your words and deeds, and you must not be arrogant and prejudiced.
Don't find fault with each other or complain about other people's children, which not only shows that you lack education, but also hurts the self-esteem of your in-laws, causes conflicts, and embarrasses your children.
Before going to the door, it is best to prepare the right gift carefully; After coming to the door, the meal prepared by the in-laws, whether it is good or not, must express gratitude, and accept it gladly regardless of whether the return gift is satisfactory or not.
When talking, the things that the in-laws are proud of should be echoed and praised, and the achievements of the other child's children should be recognized.
Don't put on a dust-free and arrogant look, say more kind words and warm words, and less slander and ridicule.
In this way, the in-laws will return the same respect and kindness, the family will be harmonious, and the life of the young couple will be more comfortable and comfortable.
*: Visual China.
No greedy calculations
The Cautionary Tales say: "Cheapness cannot be taken advantage of, and wisdom cannot be exhausted." ”
Relatives should be honest with each other, sincere, and have dealings with each other.
If one party sees that the other party has surplus wealth, he will be greedy and shrewd in his calculations, and then there will definitely be trouble.
For example, the bride price and dowry lion opened his mouth, borrowed money at will, and so on, thinking of taking advantage of the marriage and getting benefits.
As everyone knows, this kind of behavior will inevitably affect the marriage of children in the future, and the distance between the two families will become more and more distant.
Because marrying is not poverty alleviation, no one is a fool, your calculation and scheming, people already know it, and it will implicate your children and daughters, so that there is a gap between husband and wife.
In the final analysis, the in-laws are two families that have nothing to do with each other, and they only get acquainted because of their children.
It's okay to help in an emergency, but if you overcalculate and don't have enough greed, it's a very cheap thing.
Treat others with sincerity, hold oneself with integrity, leave dignity for oneself, and dignity for one's children, so that the relationship can last for a long time.
*: Visual China.
No negativity
As the saying goes: "No one is perfect." ”
In this world, no one can be perfect in everything.
In the process of getting along with the in-laws, both parties will inevitably have unhappiness for various reasons.
If the other party chooses to visit at this time, it is a release of goodwill and wants to continue friendly exchanges.
If you still have negative emotions on your face, you will only appear to lack self-cultivation and bearing.
And no one likes a hot face sticking to a cold ass, and the relationship will inevitably fall to the freezing point, escalating the conflict.
No matter how harmonious the children's relationship is, no matter how happy the marriage is, it can't withstand the wear and tear again and again.
In the final analysis, they all hope that their children will be well, so why not take a step back and be neat and tidy.
I treat you politely, you reply to me politely, sit together, be open and honest, there is no knot that cannot be untied.
Pleasant faces, reasonable and generous, the two families get along comfortably, and have a happy relationship, which is the best gift that parents give to their children.
*: Visual China.
No comparison
There will be more or less differences in financial resources and circumstances between different families.
It is precisely these gaps that make many people have emotions such as comparison, showing off, and jealousy when facing their in-laws.
's own conditions are slightly better, and he always thinks that he can suppress the other party between words, so that he can have more initiative.
If your own situation is a little worse, your words are sour, and you can't see that the other party is better off than you.
Compared with the family property than work, compared with work than life, thinking about the east wind overpowering the west wind all day long. The result is to win the so-called face, but let the children be caught in the middle and embarrass them, so that the happiness of the young couple pays for that little vanity.
Parents who are truly far-sighted will never compare themselves endlessly because of their own selfish thoughts.
After all, the better the in-laws, the better the children, the more prosperous.
Author: Ru Fengjun. **Confucianism everyone (ID: rufengdajia). A gathering place for lovers of Chinese culture, an original number of super high-quality Chinese culture content. Warm, valuable, interesting, Confucian, with you to understand Chinese culture.