Have you ever stopped to wonder why you don't take the initiative to find others, others don't contact you, and others don't open the door to you? In fact, the answer is as simple as it is cruel – when others feel that your relationship with you is no longer of substantial value, and that your presence is no longer an aid in their lives, the bond may fade. This is the "unspoken rule" in the world, and it is the default "abandonment".
Have you ever felt that the friends you had talked to suddenly become strangers one day, as if they had never existed in your life? There was no controversy between you, no red-faced embarrassment, but that intimacy quietly disappeared. Why? In fact, it's just that the "use value" between each other is no longer there. There is a popular saying on the Internet: The relationship between people is nothing but an empty space. We are all passers-by in each other's lives, coming and going, going and coming.
On the road of life, we will meet all kinds of people, some of whom accompany us through a certain road and then disappear around the corner; Some say goodbye and never show up again; There are others who leave our sight forever without even saying goodbye. In the end, there may only be one or two people who really stay with us. The ancients once said: "It is enough to have a confidant in life." "There are very few friends who can really experience the baptism of time.
You may say, "I don't want to lose this friend, I don't ask him to bring me anything, I just want to keep this connection." "But can you really reach out to him all the time and he doesn't respond to your enthusiasm? The relationship between people is about mutual respect and mutual willingness. When you keep giving and don't get a response, how long can that enthusiasm last? Even if he occasionally responds to you out of politeness, can you feel the reluctance and reluctance? How long can such a relationship last?
There's an old saying, "The burden of shaving your head can't be hot all at once." "The interaction between people is essentially an exchange of resources, whether it is material, profit or emotional value. Look at those political and business celebrities, why can their relationship last for a long time? Because they have an exchange of material and benefits, they can also provide each other with the emotional value they need. And when one party can no longer provide these values, their relationship comes to an end.
The same is true of interactions between ordinary people. When your friend suddenly becomes rich, do you feel an inexplicable pressure? Will you start to distance yourself from him? This is human nature, and it is also the so-called "self-esteem of the poor". Imagine if you were friends with Jack Ma, what else could you talk about? Tell us about this month's earnings? Which restaurant is delicious? Are these really valuable and meaningful to him? When the gap between them grows, the intimacy and connection naturally dissipates.
So, don't rely too much on old classmates, old friends, fellow countrymen and the like. In this real society, once there is a gap between each other, the feeling of communication and the mode of getting along will change. If you are a little taller than him, he will be jealous of you; If you are a little lower than him, he will look down on you. Even jobs, positions, incomes, cars, houses, and so on will be the object of comparison. In the end, the connection was broken.
Therefore, those who can really communicate for a long time are often those who have similar economic income, education level, and three views and cognition at this stage. This is also the reason why the ancients always said that "the right person" is very important. The same is true for making friends, where things gather like and people are grouped. Therefore, the most important thing in this life is to rely on yourself. Whether it's a friend or a lover, if you break contact with each other, you will break off contact. Don't speak ill of people behind your back, get along with it, and leave if you don't get along. Live your life wonderfully first, and then you can walk with people who are equally wonderful.
If you have other opinions, please let us know in the comments section.