1 The second uncle is no longer good, and for a few days in a row, I have received messages from my mother and several uncles in the family**, and my cousin has also sent me messages.
Cousin. 
My reply. 
I understand my cousin's pain very well, as a filial son, he can't say to give up, in the public's perception, it is a great rebellion against filial piety.
In traditional thinking, as a child, even if you know that there is no hope of healing, even if you sell your belongings, you have to treat your parents.
I called my mother and several uncles in the family, and to my surprise, several elderly people in the family were very open-minded and had the same thoughts as me.
They all think that if the money in the bottomless pit is spent, people will still suffer, and they may not be able to get it back. discussed going to the second mother's house for a meeting together to do the second mother's ideological work.
I only stayed in the city where my daughter worked for a few days, and I hurriedly bought a ticket home, and I received a message from my cousin on the way.
When I got the news, I felt very sad, but at the same time I was very relieved that the second uncle had gone smoothly and that no one had suffered. The cousin and the second mother will not be burdened with huge economic pressure and mental and physical torture.
2 The reason why the second uncle walked peacefully was that he was old, almost eighty years old, and he had high blood pressure, diabetes, and uremia, and he had to be perennially broken, and his whole body organs had already failed. The doctor also euphemistically said that ** is of little significance, and leaving the machine is equivalent to death.
The second is that the elders in the family are very open-minded, and there is no "moral" guard, forcing his cousin to continue to his father.
However, in any special case, it can be a lose-lose.
The elderly lie on the hospital bed and are worse off than dead, and all kinds of expensive medical expenses, examination fees, and nursing fees toss a family's economy to the end, and finally the people and money are empty.
Or try your best to save half a life, the expensive medical order fees and cumbersome care in the later stage, I can't wait to be one step ahead of the elderly.
3After attending my second uncle's funeral, I talked to my mother about my father. In 08 **, he walked at the age of 61, but he was in a vegetative state at home for three years.
The mother wiped away her tears and said, "If your father is awake at all, he will not want to sleep like a living dead for three years." ”
I listened to it with a pang of sourness in my heart.
My father had a sudden cerebral hemorrhage at the age of 42, but when he was rescued, he was paralyzed on the left side, his mouth and eyes were crooked, he couldn't control his saliva, couldn't spit out complete words, and walked with crutches.
From the beginning of the illness to the successive ** to the last vegetative person lying in bed for 20 years, my father walked from trembling to wheelchair to bed, the family has always been clouded, and I often live in my mother's house when I am married.
During the three years that my father was lying in bed, his eyes were open but he was not focused, empty, without expression, speech, only breathing.
Unable to eat, he could only use the thickest glucose needle to make some thin rice noodle soup along the corner of his mouth, and he could still use one hand tied to the head of the bed to prevent him from unconsciously tearing off his ureter.
Every time the sheets were changed, my father's thin body was pushed to this side of the bed, and then to the other side of the bed, like a soft creature, with his head drooping and his body shrinking ...... tired
I think he used to be such a proud person, when he was not sick, he always cleaned himself up neatly, a talent, a high school student in the sixties, proficient in literature, art, and **. A little conscious, and I don't want to live in this state.
Fate is also unfair, he is the eldest when he is young, he is poor, and his younger siblings are raised by him; When he was young, he taught in remote mountainous areas for more than 20 years and suffered a lot; When the teacher's salary improved, he was also transferred to the city, but he became an unconscious vegetative person.
4My mother was disabled and could not take care of my father alone, so I had to close the shop and live in my mother's house.
No income, no socialization, no entertainment, can't take care of their husband, daughter, only mechanically repeat more than three years and more than a thousand days of daily life:
Feed honey water at 6 o'clock in the morning, pour urine, pick up feces, and turn over;
Breakfast at 8 o'clock. Beat the egg mixture with a needle and mix the rice noodles. (Nearly 2 hours before and after each feeding, first pad your head, short to flow, high to choke, up and down to put oil paper, I am also fully armed, waist, sleeves, masks, carelessly, my father will spray him, me, bed, are all rice flour paste).
At 10 o'clock, I fed the medicine, and at 12 o'clock, I beat the crucian carp soup and mixed rice noodles (I have eaten crucian carp meat for three years, and now I feel sick to my stomach when I see it).
At 2 o'clock, he changed his father's clothes, patted his back (lying down for a long time to prevent lung failure), and at 3 o'clock, he began to feed vegetable water or banana boiling water;
At 4 o'clock, I was fed with medicine, at 5 o'clock, I was fed with vegetable soup and rice noodles, and at night I was fed with medicine, wiped my back, and washed my feet.
I saw the sewing needles to wash the clothes and sheets that my father had changed, and to clean up the mess after feeding and the smell of feces, urine, and medicine at home. I had to get up in the middle of the night to see if my father had grabbed the quilt.
And endure the mother's roar from time to time—that is, the roar, the kind of stellar. Her father's illness has put her on the verge of being angry at any time, scolding, crying, and taking care of her, and by the way, I have become a punching bag.
At that time, I was young, and I didn't understand my mother's sadness, I only felt that I was wronged, and I had to fight back. In the end, it was the mother who cried, and I cried, and often two crying women took care of the unconscious man lying on the bed while crying.
A little sudden situation in the father became the fuse of the mother's temper, and the family could not get peace.
Get up in the morning and grab the quilt and hang it aside;
Tear off the ureters and pee on a bed, all over the body.
Changing clothes, wiping bodies, changing sheets, changing quilts, and having to wrap my father first, I was half tired to death, and often coped with a mouthful of food a day. There is no difference between men and women, wiping the body, inserting a urinary catheter. ）
My father doesn't have a stool (less fibrous food), so he has to pick it out little by little with his hands.
I'm really tired, physical, emotional, financial, and family torture, and I don't know when this will end.
My husband is also ready to divorce me, he said that it is better to have a wife than not to have a wife, he has lived alone, and he earns money to support his family and baby.
I stared at my father, thinking more than once how good it would be for him to leave, that he would not be guilty, that my mother and I would not be guilty.
In the winter of 08, my father caught a cold, the phlegm was stuck in his throat, and he couldn't breathe, and his mother wanted to send him to the hospital, saying that it was his own relatives and couldn't let him wait for death at home.
I went to consult the doctor, and the doctor said that in his case, he needed surgery, and it would be done by cardiovascular, neurosurgery, and respiratory specialists, and the success rate was extremely low, and the hospital would not accept such patients. When I recalled my feelings at that time, I seemed a little relieved.
My father left, and the relatives who came said that we took good care of us, that there was no smell in the house, and that there were no bedsores all over our body.
I listened to it and smiled wryly, how much energy it had to take to do this, and how much pain it had to take to make my father, who had been declared by the hospital to live for less than ten days, let him breathe air for three more years.
That's all, is the father in the spirit of heaven willing to do it?
There is no inheritance, only debt. For many years, the standard of living at home was probably only the lowest in the city.
The funeral was simple, and the pension of the unit covered part of the debt, but fortunately there was not much.
5 Now the mother's health has reached a point of breathtakingness.
Non-stop ** health lectures in the mobile phone; verbal "what the experts say";
study and note the role of each vegetable and legume; resolutely do not eat outside food;
eight vegetables a day; Strictly control the intake of salt and oil, accurate to the gram; The overnight vegetables were also willing to be poured;
There is no lard, monosodium glutamate and all additives at home; Before meals, bowls, chopsticks, and plates are washed and washed;
Never let go of the sun, summer morning, winter afternoon; 365 days rain or shine;
quietly buy piles of health care products; Work and rest on time, maintain health, and change your temper a lot.
She often said that I don't want to live for many years, I just hope that I won't be sick and miserable, like your father. It's probably her father's experience that has made her feel uneasy.
6 And most of our generation, the generation that is about to enter middle and old age, are only children.
What should I do if I am old and sick? The children are in their twenties, and almost all of them have left their hometown to work hard, and they do not want to start a family in their hometown.
I once asked my daughter, "What if my mother is old and has no one to take care of her?" Daughter: "Nursing home".
Mom is sick in the hospital, what should I do? The daughter was speechless.
It's not that her daughter is cold, she can't make this promise. The volume of the big city has exhausted her, and it is impossible for her to take care of her mother with her career, family, money, and time.
As a parent, how can you cut off the way for your children and grandchildren, so that she can take a lifetime of happiness.
After the second uncle's funeral, I talked to my daughter about my thoughts.
If you are really unfortunate to have a serious illness, you know that you can't, you can only rely on the machine to continue your life, so that your body will suffer more pain, so you will give up.
Never use the knife again, go to the instrument to torture. Sent home to spend the last moments, no one will be affected.
I don't want to be in my seventies and eighties, and I just want to leave quietly, only to be put on the operating table and disemboweled, or like a living dead. It has become a burden on the children's life and a stumbling block on the road of life.
I passed away last night, and my heart stopped when I left, "What a perfect human palace to close the palace!"