Under the influence of traditional Chinese attitudes, many women like Ms. Liu often feel the dual pressure of family and society as they enter their thirties.
Ms. Liu, 32, has a stable job and is self-sufficient, but her unmarried status seems to be an unavoidable topic within the framework of traditional family values. As the saying goes, "a woman should get married", this sentence has sounded in her ears countless times.
It was in such a social atmosphere that she met her current boyfriend, a seemingly gentle man, who gave her a glimmer of hope.
The boyfriend comes from a traditional rural family, and although he himself has a stable job in the city, he is consistent with his parents and respects the customs of the country in terms of family values.
In order to get their approval, Ms. Liu decided to go back to her boyfriend's hometown to help during the spring rice planting season, hoping to get closer to her future mother-in-law in this way. She is convinced that "following the local customs" will win her the hearts of her family.
Rice planting was undoubtedly a challenge for Ms. Liu, who grew up in the city. The muddy fields, the sliding footsteps, and the seedlings that had to be planted gently were all new experiences for her.
On a hot summer day, beads of sweat oozed from her forehead, and her back looked particularly strong against the backdrop of the setting sun. Despite all the difficulties, she did not back down, because she believed that "the grace of a drop of water should be reciprocated by a spring".
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has long been a barometer of family harmony, and the tension between Ms. Liu and her future mother-in-law is a modern interpretation of this assertion.
Cultural differences have become an insurmountable gulf between them. The differences in lifestyles, mindsets, and expectations of roles between urban and rural make it difficult for both parties to understand each other. The mother-in-law's expectations are steeped in traditional customs, while Ms. Liu is accustomed to the independence of the city.
In the process, Ms. Liu felt that her efforts and sincerity had not been appreciated as they should be. Every attempt she attempted seemed to be taken for granted, or an effort that fell short of the standard.
In an environment that lacks recognition and support, no matter how hard she tries, it is difficult to satisfy her mother-in-law.
At the same time, the relationship between her and her boyfriend is also in jeopardy due to family pressure. The strength of one person is insignificant in the face of the pressures of tradition and expectation, and this pressure even makes her doubt the future of the two.
Building a harmonious mother-in-law relationship is not achieved overnight, it takes time, patience, and the joint efforts of both parties. Communication is a bridge that shortens the distance between hearts.
Ms. Liu realized that the first thing to do to improve her relationship with her mother-in-law was to start sincere communication. As the ancients said, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you", she began to try to consider the problem from her mother-in-law's point of view, understanding her mother-in-law's needs and concerns.
In her daily life, Ms. Liu tries to listen to her mother-in-law's opinions with a more open mind, even if sometimes their views differ.
She learned to express her feelings at the right time instead of keeping her grievances in her heart. For example, at family gatherings, she invites her mother-in-law to prepare dishes together and bond by completing tasks together.
In the exchange, she replaced criticism and accusation with affirmation and praise, because she knew that "when you meet in the palm of your hand, you are all guests from a foreign land", and a harmonious atmosphere can make each other feel more comfortable and comfortable.
At the same time, Ms. Liu also encouraged her boyfriend and mother-in-law to actively participate in the process of improving the relationship. She believes that a harmonious relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law not only requires the wisdom and efforts of the daughter-in-law, but also the understanding and tolerance of the mother-in-law are equally important.
She tries to find common interests, such as a TV series that her mother-in-law likes, or participating in community activities together, as a common topic to enhance understanding and affection.
Through these concrete and subtle daily practices, Ms. Liu gradually felt that her mother-in-law's attitude had softened, and the family atmosphere had become more harmonious.
As the saying goes, "dripping stone wears", do not be impatient, do not give up, and work hard persistently, you can eventually harvest a harmonious and happy family life.