Guess at this moment, when you read this article, you are either on your way home or have already returned home.
Chinese attach great importance to family affection, and the family gathering during the Spring Festival every year is the main event.
But it is always tied up with family relationships, and there is a relationship that no one can ignore:
Monetary relations. And the more you grow up, the more you can't avoid this relationship, even if you can usually escape, you can't escape when you go home during the Spring Festival. Recently, many friends have expressed their entanglements and troubles with me:
When I go home during the Spring Festival, how much of my annual income is the most reasonable way to give my parents? In view of the fact that there are so many people asking this question, I will give you a special review of this matter today. 
Let's start with rational data. Two years ago, a consulting agency conducted a questionnaire survey:How much pension will you pay to your parents every month? ”The statistics here are monthly data, and we multiply it by 12 to become the whole year. Judging from the survey results, the post-80s generation gives more points, 500 per month, and less than 6,000 a year, a year to give a total of 500-2000 occupancyOf course, there are also filial sons who give more than 50,000 yuan a month and more than 50,000 a year. Compared with the post-90s, the number of people of each amount is a little less, and the most are obviously not given a penny, which is accounted for
Source: Internet I also consulted a professor at my university, who happened to be doing research in related areas a while ago, and gave me such a formula based on a large amount of research data:The annual cost of the child to the parents = (the average income of the child's family and the local minimum subsistence line) 20% The number of dependents 12Let's take a chestnut: Suppose you and your wife form a small family with an average monthly income5000 yuan, the local subsistence subsistence line is00 yuanThen the money you give to your parents = (5000-500)*20% 2*12=5400 yuan. Of course, it is for one person, that is, 5,400 yuan for the father and 5,400 yuan for the mother. 
Source: "The Long Goodbye".
The data and formulas are for reference only, and the professor did not forget to remind me at the end that the amount obtained from this calculation basically belongsStandard Line. What is a standard line? Probably is: the top can be infinitely extended, and the bottom is a bit unreasonable......
Is the professor's formula scientific? Of course, there is science. But is there really a guide to our lives? I can only put a question mark. After all, a formula is a formula, and facts are facts. If everything that happens in the real world can be easily applied with formulas, then as long as we learn mathematics well, there will be no contradictions to deal with. 
Source: "Please Answer 1988" Over the years, among the countless financial conflicts and entanglements I have seen and heard, and my parents have been cut and messed up, what we need to consider is far more complex, more comprehensive, and more challenging than calculation problems. So, returning to the emotional and realistic level, how much of the annual income should be given to parents is the most reasonable? This problem, in my opinion, can be divided into the following dimensions:1. Do you have money or not? 2. Are your parents rich or not? 3. What do your parents think about you giving money? In the first case, you have money, but your parents don't. For example, there is no pension, no pension insurance, and no fixed income. There's nothing to say, you have to give if you want to, you have to give if you don't want to, especially an only child. After all, they are counting on your money for retirement, as for how much to give, it is recommended to give it on a monthly basis to ensure their monthly life, and the amount can be in their own incomeOf course, the higher your income, the lower your parents' income, the greater this proportion can be. 
Source: "For the First Time in This Life".
In the second case, you have money, and your parents have money. Whether you give this kind of money or not, how much you give, it's all your heart, anyway, your parents don't care about your money at all. Of course, if you can give them money and change your direction to prove to them that you're doing well, they will feel more at ease. And even if you take the money, they won't necessarily spend it, but will save it for you. A friend of mine told me that she had given her mother about 100,000 yuan in pocket money before, but when she encountered difficulties last year, her mother gave her 200,000 yuan at once. Move. In the third case, you don't have money, and your parents do. In this case, you can't support yourself yourself, and it's good not to let your parents post upside down, so naturally it's not in the scope of consideration. In the fourth case, you don't have any money, and your parents don't have any money. This is arguably the saddest of cases. And I've found that most of the people who suffer on this issue are these people. 
Source: "It's All Good".This involves the third dimension, what do your parents think about you giving money. If your parents don't have money, they want you to live well first, then don't think about filial piety first, seize the time to invest in yourself, and get out of poverty as soon as possible. In the future, there will be time to repay the parents, and the sensible parents will understand. If your parents don't have money, they are counting on your money to use it, implying or even explicitly asking for moneyThere are many such cases, especially in families with many children, rural families, and families that favor sons over daughters. In this case, you can't hide, you can give some if you can, but you can't slap a swollen face and become fat. If your parents still attack you in your life after you give it, then you can have your own choice legally and logically. 
Source: "The Way of Heaven".There is another kind that has to be said, if your parents don't have money, don't care if you ask for money, but they basically don't have the concept and idea of financial management, and even take the money you give to go blind. Buy health products, buy P2P, or recklessly lend to relatives or not come back. This kind of thunder was stepped on by you once, so don't give it as soon as possible in the future. In fact, there is only one unified answer to all of the world's classic questions about disputes with parents:See if your parents are successful in the field. If they are mediocre or even worse than average in the relevant areas, then your best approach is to give them different expressions of rejection depending on the level of family harmony. 
Of course, there is no such absolute thing in the world, and the three dimensions are not eternal, and they will seamlessly switch at any time according to your own and your family's situation. Take myself as an example:When I was single after graduation, I basically belonged to the third situation, I had no money, but my parents had money. The monthly salary is too low, and after the daily expenses and rent are paid, there is basically no money left, and even parents have to subsidize it. In this case, I naturally have no money to give to my parents. But during the New Year's holidays, they will still buy their favorite wine, gifts, etc., and give their parents a red envelope at the end of the year, which is 1,000 yuan, which means. 
Source: "The Form of the Family" has been working for a few years later, and after getting married, I have a lot more money, but I will not give my parents money every month, and at the end of the year, I will give a big red envelope to both parents together, and the amount will definitely be more and more year by year.
Later, when I had a child, a lot of money was spent on the child, and the parents moved in to help take care of the child, but I couldn't let them spend money, so I started to give them thousands of yuan a month for living expenses. I haven't asked if the money is enough, but at least it's our attitude. Of course, the red envelopes at the end of the year are indispensable, and we will buy something at any time, not deliberately, and generally follow the principle that we will bear the expenses. After all, the fact that they can help is already a blessing that my generation has cultivated, and it cannot be measured by money. In general, it is actually very easy to give money to parents, just give it with an excuse, and give more and give less is the heart. But in my opinion, the hardest thing is to get parents to spend the money on themselves. My parents often took my money on the surface, but they didn't move a cent, saying that they wanted to save it for me, just in case. Come on, how old am I
Source: "The Form of the Family".I've already accumulated a lot of experience in dealing with this situation, and since they don't spend money on their own, I'll help them spend it on them. For example, take them on a trip, from abroad to China, let them experience what I can give them, buy them commercial insurance, let them occasionally get sick and go to the special needs or international department, if there is anything that can be bought online more assured and cheaper, I will buy it for them online, anyway, they don't understand how to pay online, and I will say that I can save points with mine. I also have a colleague who is even better, and she told me that the way she gives money to her parents is by borrowing money from them. Usually if there is nothing to do, she will borrow some money from her parents first, 1,800, and agree to pay them back next month. At the beginning of next month, she will add three to five hundred to repay her parents on top of the borrowed money. Tell them that the price inflation is so high every month that the money is equivalent to the money borrowed last month. Usually at this time, her parents will join hands to beat her, blaming her for bullying them for being uneducated, but when they receive it, they are happy. Later, this trick was used a lot, and everyone naturally tacitly agreed. But the parents are willing to cooperate, so why not keep acting?
Source: "The Form of the Family".
Having said all this, from rationality to sensibility, from commonality to individuality, I don't know if it answers the doubts in your hearts. In fact, there is really no need to have too many doubts about this matter, the money is in your hands, and the initiative is yours. No matter how much other people's opinions are based on them, you are the one who decides. Therefore, you can give what you want, and how much you give is your heart, and if you don't want to give, you don't have to be passive everywhere and let yourself be kidnapped by morality. But as a person who has come over, I still have to give you a reminder:It's okay to give money, but don't let your parents keep your money for a long time, let alone let your parents know your real income. How did all kinds of family tragedies happen, I don't need to say more.
Source: "My Uncle" Of course, humans have always believed only in survivorship bias. Although there are many friends who have been worried about this issue lately, I believe that they are still only a tiny group of people.
More friends, in fact, are far from thinking about the problem of the century, who let them be in the state they are in now- Parents upside down.