My wife has been supporting my brother for 11 years, and I went back to my parents' house some time ago to live, and my brother-in-law will not come in the future
My wife and I have been married for 11 years, and by the time of the wedding, my father-in-law had passed away and my brother-in-law was 16 years old. At that time, I knew that after marriage, I had to take on the responsibility of supporting my wife and taking care of my younger brother. Perhaps out of deep love for his wife, we finally walked into the marriage hall hand in hand.
When my brother-in-law was unmarried, we covered his living expenses and tuition fees. At first, I was comfortable with all this, but as my children went to kindergarten, I became suspicious of my wife's support for my younger brother and couldn't find a better solution.
Subsequently, the brother-in-law entered into marriage and bought a house, and we provided him with more than 100,000 yuan of support. All this sparked an argument between my wife and me, but it couldn't stop her from helping my brother. During this time, my wife promised me that she would no longer support my brother-in-law financially after he got married.
Last year, the brother-in-law tied the knot, and his wife did stop financial assistance to him. During this period, the brother-in-law borrowed money from his wife several times, but was refused. Surprisingly, his wife's decision made the brother-in-law feel dissatisfied.
Recently, my wife and I had an argument over trivial matters and left the house angrily, and a few hours later, my wife came back in disgrace. During this period, what she said was that her brother-in-law was too ungrateful to be grateful. I learned that after arguing with me, my wife, who had planned to go to her parents' house for a short rest, was opposed by her brother-in-law, who claimed, "You are not welcome in this family." ”
I deeply understand my wife's grievances: over the years, I have paid too much for my brother-in-law, but I have provoked my brother-in-law's displeasure because he stopped assisting him after he got married. Humans, it seems, are really unsatisfied creatures.
In our lives, people like your brother-in-law are actually not uncommon: when a person is kind to you, sometimes they don't know how to be grateful, but feel that the care around them is a natural responsibility and obligation. When the people around him are kind to him, he feels that it is taken for granted and not worth mentioning. And when the people around him are no longer good to him, he will think that others owe him a debt.
I also have a personal experience to share: about half a year ago, a friend of mine opened a small shop in the community where I live, mainly dealing in vegetables and fruits. When he first started his business, he faced a lot of difficulties, so I spent more than two hours a day helping him (all on a voluntary basis). As time went on, his business gradually improved, and I naturally stopped helping. However, for this reason, I actually offended this friend. He often said sneering things in front of me, even blaming me for not helping him anymore. Isn't this a typical example?Once something becomes an inertia, some people tend to forget about gratitude and blame you for stopping being nice to them.
Obviously, your brother-in-law is used to your wife's financial support, but he has never considered how much grievances your wife has endured over the years. Therefore, when your wife no longer supports her brother, your brother-in-law starts to blame your wife. In this case, your wife naturally feels aggrieved.
At present, your brother-in-law and your wife have a conflict because of one party, but they are brother and sister after all, and they will not break up completely. In this case, there is no better way than to minimize interactions. One can only hope that your brother-in-law will finally realize his mistake and be grateful one day. In fact, many children also show a little unfilial piety in front of their parents: parents work hard to raise their children, and even help take care of their children's children, but when their parents are old, many children use busy work as an excuse to not give their parents enough love. In fact, if you can take care of your own children, why can't you care about your parents as well?Therefore, the shirk of filial piety is actually a concrete manifestation of family affection.
Sometimes it is not advisable to delve too deeply into human nature, because if you look too closely, you will find that human nature is actually quite complex. Perhaps in the bottom of your heart, your wife will regret giving your brother-in-law the help when he got married and bought a house. However, she can't show this remorse, because once you show it to you, you are likely to taunt her with harsh words. In fact, with your brother-in-law's wedding, you and your wife seem to have gotten rid of some troubles, and in the future life, it is of course a good thing to handle the relationship with your brother-in-law, and it is not a big problem to handle it well, after all, it can be regarded as getting rid of a burden.
We need to recognise that everyone is an individual and may need the support of family and siblings before starting a career. In this process, it is important to make yourself a person who knows how to be grateful. The help given by siblings is neither an obligation nor a duty. So don't expect your siblings to support you for the rest of your life;Don't say hurtful things when they stop supporting you, and never turn against them. After all, others help you out of affection, not obligation.
If a person loses their gratitude, the people who have helped you may feel chills because of your selfishness. For their help, it may have become irreparable in the past, but in the future life, it will naturally reduce the cost to you. Therefore, it is indispensable to be grateful, to know how to be content, and at the right time, to repay those who have shown you kindness. Remind everyone: even parents are not obligated to accommodate you all the time, let alone siblings or relatives and friends. So, always be grateful, and don't get too much into it.
When they were younger, many people were keen to show off, hoping to create a particularly wealthy image by bragging about themselves. However, as people get older, they quietly become more low-key. This transformation stems from the fact that there are too many people in life who don't know how to be grateful, or those embarrassing situations where borrowing money is easy and difficult to repay.
One of the most undesirable experiences is being genuinely betrayed. Once experiencing the hurt of family affection and love, it is natural for individuals to become cautious when it comes to giving. There may be too many hypocrites in life, leading to a gradual apathy in interpersonal relationships.
In this day and age, there are many people who are reluctant to keep in touch with their relatives and make deep friends, mainly because they are unwilling to let money become a entanglement between relatives and friends. The reason for this phenomenon may be due to the awkwardness experienced in similar situations, or the fact that people are pursuing a simpler lifestyle.