Background: When I was chatting with a friend a few days ago, the other party mentioned that not everyone reads parenting-related books, and what you think is common sense may be knowledge in others. And when chatting with my family, I also found that many of the parenting concepts that I am accustomed to are actually shared with me as if they were new things. Therefore, I decided to combine the content of the cases I read in the book with my personal parenting experience and share them with more parents. (Some of the case content is selected from "Family Education: The Power to Give Children Growth", editor: Zhang Lei).
Case 02: A 5-year-old child with a cheerful and lively personality is not liked by children in kindergarten because the child never follows the rules. Once, a grandfather's friend brought his grandson to the house as a guest, and in the process of socializing with children of the same age, the elders found that the child was not polite, did not know how to share, and many other problems, and reflected on whether the family usually doted on the child too much.
After that, from parents to grandparents, they all work together to formulate certain rules and principles for children. In the face of the toys placed indiscriminately, my grandmother was not responsible for cleaning up, and my grandfather asked everyone, "In the future, if someone puts things indiscriminately and I accidentally throw them away as waste, I am not responsible." ”
The mother and the child agreed that if they got good results in the long jump competition, they could go karting. However, the child was finally canceled by the teacher because of repeated foul plays. The mother did not cling to her child as before, but postponed the go-kart event.
With the concerted efforts of the family, the child finally developed a sense of rules.
Parent gas station.
1.Children go from being self-centered to having a certain sense of rules, and they need the guidance of their parents.
2-5 year olds are still in the stage of self-centeredness and cannot distinguish themselves from the external environment, so many times, they do not follow the rules. Children need good guidance from parents from the primary stage to the advanced stage of moral cognition, otherwise, many things will not change naturally because they grow up.
2.Family education is a concerted effort of the whole family
Many people must have similar feelings as me, they want to bring up a baby like this, but there are countless teammates at home who are dragging their feet. For example, if I let my child eat a snack after a meal, the elders will think that it doesn't matter if they eat at all. At this point, we are usually very irritable.
In fact, family education is the need for everyone's concerted cooperation, the establishment of unified rules and standards, children can gradually develop a sense of rules, if the mother asks for this, the father feels that so, the child in the face of the same situation, may also be confused. Or, gradually, some undesirable behaviors are formed.
And good communication with family members is also a part of family education, which tests our wisdom.
3.Use the "natural consequences method" to let children grow through experience.
The so-called "natural consequence method" is a way for children to naturally gain experience as they grow up, for example, to establish the rule of "eat well", many elders are always worried that if they don't eat, they will go hungry - this is the natural consequence.
Only when the child really experiences the natural consequences will the child slowly develop the habit of eating well. If you can't feed the food while chasing after it, and at the same time give snacks to eat, the child will still not learn to eat well at the next meal.