Psychologists have divided relationships between people into "nourishing" and "consuming".
Those who nourish you will always give you the strength to keep moving forward.
When a person exhausts his strength, he will be drawn into endless strife and trouble, exhausting his energy and exhausting his energy.
In life, you will meet many people.
Whether it is family or friends, only by nourishing each other can the relationship be more harmonious and longer-lasting.
All comfortable feelings are actually mutually depleting.
Between family members, less blame and more tolerance.
Mr. Sanyin Jin of the Qing Dynasty once said:
Born of qi, his family is not auspicious. There is never a grudge, and no family can last forever. ”
If the family is full of grievances and complains about each other, then, no matter how good the relationship is, it will become more and more estranged.
Emotional Blackmail is narrated by consultant Zhou Muzi.
Zhou Muzi's cousin A Ke is also a student in college now.
One summer, Ake called his parents and said that he wanted to go to the UK with his classmates to play.
When Daddy heard this, he said angrily:
Have you ever heard that your parents are here, you can't travel far, as soon as the holiday comes, you want to go out to play, and you don't think about your parents at all, I actually taught you such an unfilial son. ”
Not to be outdone, Ah Ke said, "So, have you ever thought about other people's feelings? Do you know how long I've been planning this trip? ”
The two of you say a word to me, you say a word to me.
Eventually, she went home in a huff, locked herself in the house, and sulked all day.
Father's face was also iron-blue, and he lost his temper at every turn.
The originally happy family, because of the other party's accusations, became tense.
Many times, the tragedy of a family is not because of a disaster, but because of a struggle within the family.
Don't blame blindly when you encounter things, a little more patience and tolerance of the family, and there will be a happy and harmonious family.
As soon as Wang Zengqi mentioned his father, he smiled and said: For many years, my father and I have been like a pair of brothers. 」
Wang Zengqi was very playful when he was young, and his grades were also very poor.
However, no matter how bad his studies were, his dad would not blame him, only encouraged him to work harder.
Wang Zengqi had a girlfriend when he was seventeen years old.
When his father found out about this, he did not immediately reproach him, but communicated with him and gave him proper guidance.
Because of this understanding and tolerance, Wang Zengqi had to ask his father for advice on no matter how big or small he was a child.
For decades, the family has enjoyed each other.
Tolerance and understanding," said de Sellé, "can a family be a family without them?" ”
It must be remembered that at home, relatives are more important than reason, and tolerance is more important than transformation.
When a family is together, there will always be some bumps.
When encountering problems, blame less and be more tolerant, so that the family can unite and support each other.
Between friends, ask less and be more grateful.
This is a story told by the author Mu Yange.
When she was in middle school, when she was studying in other places, she met a fellow countryman, and the two of them were very close and had a lot to say.
Once when he went out to eat, the villagers said that they didn't bring any money and asked Mu Yange to pay in advance.
At the beginning, Mu Yange was afraid of face, and it was difficult to excuse himself, so he paid happily.
Who knows, since that day, Mu Yange has been paying the bill.
Moreover, since then, the villager also asked her to help her pay for her travel, accommodation and transportation.
The excessive demands of his fellow villagers made Mu Yange exhausted.
Until one day, she couldn't bear it, moved out of the dormitory, and cut off the man.
The relationship between people is like a well, if you just blindly draw it, then no matter how deep it is, there will always be a day when it dries up.
If you want too much, the feelings will be exhausted, and the distance between each other will become more and more distant.
Zhou Guoping: "....
All relationships have a boundary that cannot be crossed, and all problems and contradictions are unintentionally broken by it. ”
To have a bottom line for friends and know how to be grateful, such a relationship will last for a long time.
Xie Kehui is a writer who tells a story.
The CEO of a company asked a friend of his to conduct a market research on him.
After his friend sent him **, he didn't hesitate to transfer money to him.
The man refused: "It's all an old friend, it's just a gesture." ”
The shopkeeper smiled and said: "After more than ten years of friendship, you should settle the accounts clearly, your help this time is priceless." ”
With the boss's gratitude and reward, the relationship between the two has become more harmonious.
Writer Jostein Judd once said, "No one is born to be kind to others, so we should be grateful." ”
Between people, they will never help others for no reason, this is a human favor, not an obligation.
If you only know how to ask and only think about taking advantage, then no matter how good the relationship is, it will gradually become estranged.
Between people, we must know how to make trade-offs, and we must know how to make trade-offs.
We must know how to take less, be grateful more, and in each other's giving, the relationship will be maintained for a long time.
Between partners, less is more supportive.
I think so: the more people care, the more alienated they are; The more you worry about things, the more distressed you are; Feelings, the more calculating, the more indifferent.
Between husband and wife, if they have to worry about trivial things, they will slowly wear out each other's feelings in the entanglement again and again.
Weibo user @叶子 told his story: "....
Ye Zi has been married for five years, and her two children are two years old, and in the eyes of everyone, she looks carefree.
But when you strip away the glossy coat, there is a mess inside.
Although it is the biggest expense in the family, the husband rarely does housework and takes care of the children.
She wants to go to graduate school, start her own business, and let her husband help her take care of the children.
However, her husband disagreed and scolded her for being selfish.
Because of this incident, the two would quarrel almost every now and then, and they would not give in to each other.
As time went on, the contradictions between them grew, and in the end, they decided to divorce.
Kai Zi, an emotional blogger, said: "True love should be a two-way street, whether it is gain or loss. ”
In life, when two people get along, they are too calculating, and they often win reason and lose emotion.
When two people are together, with less worries and more support, they can get long-term happiness.
"Meritorious" is a love story about the scientist Tu Youyou and her husband Li Tingzhao, and it is also a documentary about her.
Mr. Tu is obsessed with scientific research and is often too busy to take care of his family.
Once, Tu Youyou offered to take her daughter home.
As a result, because of work, she forgot the time, and when she came to kindergarten, her daughter had already been taken away by her husband.
Back home, instead of mentioning the matter, her husband offered to take good care of her so that she could read with peace of mind.
With every day busy with her own research, she has little time to take care of her family.
Li Tingzhao didn't care about this, on the contrary, he also took the initiative to take on all the affairs of the family, from interpersonal relationships, to laundry, to cooking.
It is precisely because of this that the relationship between the two is so harmonious.
The list of high-quality authors Bai Xianyong wrote like this:
In your life, there will always be someone who will accompany you through the ups and downs together, and this experience is more precious than a lifetime. ”
In marriage and love, both parties have interests.
Instead of worrying about each other, it is better to support each other.
Both people are responsible, and only then can two people come together.
There is an analogy: life is like a small boat that sails far away, family is the oar, companion is the oar, and friends are the sail.
Only by getting these relationships right can we work together and sail together. ”
No matter who you are with, a little less calculating, a little more taking, a little more giving, a little more understanding.
Only by treating people with sincerity can we nourish and warm each other.