Not long ago, I moved, cleaned up the house, and pulled out a photo of my college graduation.
I took a cursory look and I didn't know most of my classmates.
And some of them are still in the same bed with me.
At that time, the two hugged each other and said goodbye.
It's just that, after many years, she is just a stranger to him.
The few that can still maintain friendly relations are some business contacts.
It is said that love when you are young does not have so much utilitarianism.
When we were young, we always felt that as long as we got along with each other, we could be friends for life.
Eventually, both understand that since there is no benefit, they can only be friends.
Recently, I re-read the Nobel Prize-winning "Doctor Zhivago", and one of the scenes touched me deeply.
Markel and Zhivago met during the war, with Marker holding his arquebus, but Copao Zhivago was unharmed. Zhivago's medical skills were so good that he could treat Markel as soon as he was injured.
Later, they left the army and came to a remote town, where they forged a blood feud.
More than six months later, Zhivago wanted to clean the yard and asked Malkel if he could come to his house to get water.
Without even thinking about it, Markel replied, "Whatever you want, I don't have syrup here, but I do have water." ”
When Zhivago came three times to fetch water, Markel had already put away his smile and only told him to be careful not to be blown by the cold wind outside.
It wasn't until Zhivago reopened the door that Markel was startled: "You'd better not mess around!" If it weren't for my daughter, I would have closed the door a long time ago! ”
At first glance, the story may seem ironic, but it's true.
Markel returned to the frontier town, reunited with his wife and daughter, and lived in isolation alone.
Zhivago was lonely and had no doctor, and his life was difficult, so he had to ask Malkel for help.
The original friendship of sharing hardships and hardships turned into mutual giving and taking at this moment.
A relationship based on interests can only be maintained for a certain period of time, while a relationship based on value can be maintained for a long time.
When they lose their usefulness, no matter how close they are, they may become strangers because of a few sips of water.
Charlie Munger is long overdue for his retirement.
While lamenting this legendary investor, he is also lamenting his 50-year friendship with Warren Buffett.
Munger once joked, "The best way to get a goddess is to have enough conditions."
In fact, all relationships are like this, as long as it aligns with your values, you can get what you want.
The "value closed loop" mentioned by interpersonal relationship expert @ Wuxianglou.
Fundamentally, all relationships are a value system.
What you give to me, I will also give to you, forming a closed cycle so that the whole system can continue to operate stably.
However, if the give-and-receive relationship is not right, it can lead to a disruption in the value chain.
In the long run, the relationship between the two countries will drift apart.
As Lian Yue said:
After all, people get along with each other and are determined by their own value.
Enhance your own value, and you will have long-term partners; In the future, not to mention new friends, even old friends, you may not be able to see them. ”
There is no eternal friendship, only eternal interests.
If you can't make someone "profitable", no one will want to associate with you.
When you have items that can be traded, you create an aura that attracts others to come.
This is a bestseller by Juan.
As soon as he arrived in Beijing, he met a courier Xiao Gao.
At that time, his onboarding process had not yet been completed, and the courier would not be paid.
But Xiao Gao was able to take him around the neighborhood, which made him very happy.
The two have delivered goods one after the other, and the latter has lunch, and the relationship is still very good.
Unexpectedly, after this time, the two did not have any contact.
Hu Anyan heard that he had not officially become a full-time employee, so he brought a piece of paper to Xiao Gao.
Xiao Gao asked me to come back in two days, and I still have to go back to do some errands, so you can lend me my work permit and let him work for me for a few more days.
Juan Yan said angrily that he thought Xiao Gao was a very good deceitful guy and had no reason to stay by his side.
Why was he so reluctant this time?
In his work, he says:
Xiao Gao usually likes to take advantage of small advantages, and I can't bear it anymore without him teaching me a lesson. ”
We often say that meeting for the first time feels better than meeting for the first time.
However, few people get bored with time.
When values are out of balance, many small problems will be magnified, and emotions will collapse.
The two people can become good friends when they meet once, probably because they share common values and common values.
To achieve long-term and stable development, it is necessary to achieve value sharing and mutual benefit and win-win results.
In 1970, Jobs and Wads met in a classmate.
Wolds made an Apple and tried to sell it, but it didn't work out.
Only Steve Jobs saw Apple as something revolutionary and used his connections to sell 150 units for Woz.
When Jobs was still working at Atari, he was asked to complete a new product in four days.
Wads worked with Steve Jobs, using his programming skills to help him meet deadlines.
Jobs is passionate and strict, and Woz is introverted and mild-mannered, and the two are very different.
But the two of them are partners who have witnessed the founding and growth of Apple.
I am reminded of Sanmao's famous quote:
I can tolerate your willfulness and your badness, and there is no contradiction between us, but we can use each other. ”
In the adult world, feelings are important, but more are values.
Without glue, two people can still stand; Without a foundation, it is almost impossible to break through.
Have you ever wondered what is the most intimate and lasting thing in this world?
The American sociologist Homans put land and seedlings first.
His book The Nature of Socialization describes it this way:
The seedlings are nourished by the soil and will eventually grow into towering trees; The land becomes more fertile when it absorbs rotting leaves.
It's a good relationship.
It reminds me of Wang Xing, founder and CEO of Meituan.
He is a graduate of Tsinghua University and founded Renren with his roommate Wang Huiwen.
Whenever there is a problem with the operation, the two will encourage each other, and then they will return to the table to discuss countermeasures.
Many seemingly intractable problems are solved in their hands.
And Renren, with this, has quickly become the most popular university in China.
With Wang Xing's departure, a series of his start-up projects have also failed.
Hearing the news, Wang Huiwen returned to China as soon as possible and accompanied Wang Xing through the lowest point in his life.
With his help, Wang Xing founded Meituan, which was the second spring of his career.
When Wang Huiwen went to the hospital because of depression, Wang Xing did not hesitate to buy a company with two billion yuan that Wang Huiwen had difficulty operating.
Twenty years have passed, and they have changed from young students to business giants, and their relationship with each other has become closer and closer.
No one will start falling in love when life is bad.
Others get along with you, perhaps because of friendship; However, the longer you spend with you, the more you will be able to continuously create value for yourself.
As the saying goes: if you can't keep up with the footsteps of others, you will become the one you are most familiar with.
The strongest friendship should be to support each other, not to wait passively like us. ”
Only by supporting each other can we go further and further.
A lonely young man walked up to an old monk and told him about the world.
The Zen master did not speak, but blew out the oil lamp handed by the young man.
Seeing the young man's confused look, the Zen master asked, "Can you still see the shadow that once accompanied you?" ”
Yes, if there is no light in life, the shadow will be far away from you.
In this world, everything is premised on profit.
Only by exchanging values and sharing benefits can we stand the test of time and experience the ups and downs of life.