To be honest, many couples don't know each other well enough when they first start dating. When they really came together, they found out that the other party had so many shortcomings that they hadn't noticed before. Or, after being together, I found that the feeling of heartbeat was gone, so I began to think about whether to break up.
Those couples who broke up after a month of dating may have been impulsive when they decided to be together. They may just want to try it out and not really get to know each other better. But after dating a few times, I felt that the original decision was too hasty, and the other party was not the person I was really looking forward to.
What are the psychological and social factors behind this?
1. The Truth Behind Sweetness: Understanding Inadequacy and Impulsive Decisions
When we first got to know each other, we were all attracted by each other's appearance, personality or certain characteristics, and in our hearts we called "Wow, that's so right!" "It feels like you've found a life partner.
But after getting along for a month, those small shortcomings and small contradictions sprung up like mushrooms after a rain. Some people may find that the other person has different values from their own, and start to wonder: "Hey, is this really okay?" "Because I went for that novelty from the beginning, I didn't really know much about the other party.
So, when the problem is exposed, some couples choose to break up. Alas, this is the so-called "first sight, after January"!
Second, the impact of reality after the passion subsides
When they first fell in love, both of them seemed to have been beaten with chicken blood, and they only had each other's advantages in their eyes. But after a long time, the passion subsided, and I began to find those small faults in the other party that I hadn't noticed before.
For example, he plays games late into the night every night, while you like to go to bed early and wake up early; She likes to watch Korean dramas and cry a lot, but you think it's all nonsense. These seemingly small differences in habits can cause friction between the two.
In addition, the pressure at work is so great now, and every day is as busy as if something is there, how can you still have the heart to care about each other?
Sometimes, even if you want to care, you don't have the energy because you are too tired from work. In this way, the relationship between the two will naturally become more and more strained, and they may have to break up in the end.
3. Communication barriers and expectations gap
When it comes to falling in love, communication is the key! But you know what? Some couples, after a month together, begin to find that there is a lack of communication between the two.
Sometimes, you may feel that you have something to say in your heart, but the expression changes the taste, and the other party can't understand what you really mean. Or maybe you try to understand the other person's thoughts, but it always feels like you can't see through a layer of fog.
This communication barrier is like a "killer", quietly eroding the relationship between the two. Because of poor communication, misunderstandings and conflicts are prone to arise. After a long time, both parties feel tired and annoyed, and breaking up has become a "natural" thing.
Fourth, a breakup is not all bad, it can be a "springboard" for your growth
Although it must be uncomfortable when you break up, then again, it is also an opportunity for you to see yourself clearly and grow. After such a short relationship, you can think about what you want and expect in love. In this way, the next time you fall in love, you will be able to deal with it more maturely and sensibly, and you will not make the same mistakes again.
So, a breakup isn't necessarily a bad thing, the point is that you have to learn from it and make yourself better. In this way, the road to love in the future will be smoother!
5. How to break the "January curse".
Learn more: Before you decide to be with someone, it's a good idea to get to know them better. How's the personality? Do values coincide? Are there any major conflicts in living habits? If you find it out in this way, there will be a lot less friction in getting along in the future.
Communicate effectively: Communication is really key. Learn to listen to each other's thoughts and don't just talk to yourself. Moreover, when expressing yourself, you should also get to the point, and don't let the other party guess the riddle. In this way, the two can understand and trust each other.
Remain independent: Everyone has their own life and space, don't try to turn each other into your own shadow. Accept their strengths and tolerate their weaknesses so that the relationship can last.
Grow together: Falling in love is not just about falling in love, you have to grow together. Both parties have to work hard to face life's challenges together. In this way, the relationship will become stronger and more mature.