During the New Year's holidays, the hustle and bustle of the city seems to be pressed on the mute button, the busy streets become empty, and the neon signs lose their former vitality. This sudden tranquility makes people feel a lot of emotion.
At the same time, the hometown thousands of miles away is lively. The wanderers who worked hard outside, with a year's harvest and exhaustion, embarked on the way home. They poured into the small county town of their hometown, and the usually lonely villages were also filled with laughter and laughter because of their arrival.
The food in my hometown is always so sweet; The nagging of parents is always so warm; The smiles of relatives and friends are always so bright. At this moment, all the fatigue is gone, and all the thoughts are turned into the joy of reunion.
It is a festive thing to think of relatives and get together with relatives and friends during the festive season. However, in the lively New Year's dinner, there is often a wind of comparison.
The eldest daughter of who's family came back from Beijing and worked as an executive in a large company with an annual salary of hundreds of thousands. ”
Whose youngest son is from Guangzhou to work, bought a house and a car, and his life is prosperous. ”
Every word you say to me, the words are full of show-offs. And the parents of those children who nest in small places can't hide their loss on their faces, as if they are also shorter.
They forced a smile and echoed the conversation of their relatives, but their hearts were full of sorrow. The children who have worked so hard to raise are now far away from home, and it is rare to see each other all year round. They look forward to their children's return to their homes and reunions, but they are worried about their children's suffering outside.
And those "successful people" who work hard outside seem to have unlimited scenery, but in fact, they also have unspeakable hardships. For the sake of their careers, they are far away from their hometowns and relatives, and they are under tremendous pressure. They are wandering and working hard, but deep down they long for warmth and belonging.
The New Year's dinner, the staggered planning, behind the laughter, is everyone's hidden suffering. What we see is only the surface of the glossy, but we can't appreciate the bitterness.
During the Spring Festival this year, I finally found time to go back to my hometown to visit my relatives. After a long absence, everything is still familiar and friendly. I can't wait to find Fa Xiao to catch up. After graduating, he also worked outside the home, and later chose to settle in a provincial capital city in the south.
When they saw me, my parents warmly beckoned me to sit down, and after asking for warmth, they began to chatter: "You children, you are used to staying in the big city, how do you feel when you come back?" Our Xue'er, she hasn't been back for a few days before she yells to go back. In his words, he not only cares for his children, but also can hardly hide his worries about his children being far away.
Fortunately, Fa Xiao and I have siblings and children who stay with our parents to take care of them, which can be regarded as alleviating the pain of some parents' longing.
However, my mother occasionally expressed regret: "I really shouldn't have let you stay thousands of miles away from home after graduation, but now I go home at most once a year for the Chinese New Year, and I can't see each other on weekdays." My mother's tone was full of guilt and distress, and I felt a sour feeling in my heart when I heard it.
Yes, for the sake of our dreams, we left our hometown and traveled far away, but we ignored the aging faces of our parents and the deepening of our thoughts. Whenever this happens, I fall into deep self-blame and guilt.
The Spring Festival is approaching, and the lively atmosphere permeates every village. However, behind the peace, there is an intriguing "strange phenomenon": most of the once wealthy families are now childless, and those families who seem to be "incapable" are full of children and grandchildren, and they are very lively.
I remember a colleague once told me that the village in his hometown used to have excellent feng shui and many talents. There are several PhDs in the village, and there are countless college students. However, as these children go out to study, they take root in the city, display their talents in the vast world, and some even go overseas to settle in other countries. Gradually, their figures rarely appeared in the field of vision of the villagers.
In stark contrast is the next village, where there are many happy and lively events. Every few days, you can hear the sound of suona, firecrackers, and a festive atmosphere permeating every corner of the village. Weddings and funerals are frequent, indicating that the village is full of vitality and prosperity.
Do you still remember the article that blew up the circle of friends? A university professor bluntly said: "Children with poor studies are here to repay their kindness." At first glance, this sentence seems a little absurd, but it has resonated with countless parents.
Those children with excellent grades, like eagles flying high, have high ambitions, and they tend to stay farther and farther away from their parents for their dreams and in pursuit of a better life. They travel to big cities, even across the oceans, to study, work, start a family, and spend only a handful of time with their parents.
And those children with unsatisfactory academic performance are like intimate padded jackets, always by their parents' side. They may not be so dazzling, but they know how to be grateful, filial piety to their parents, and are the strongest support for their parents in their later years.
A netizen shared her experience that her son was not a reading material since he was a child, but he was kind-hearted and helpful. After graduating from high school, he chose an ordinary job, but gave his monthly salary to his parents, and often helped his parents with housework.
Another netizen said that his daughter's academic performance is not good, but she has a cheerful, lively and cute personality, and can always bring joy to her family. When the daughter grows up, she stays with her parents, works, gets married, chats with her parents every day after work, and carefully prepares gifts for the New Year's holidays, so that her parents feel a strong love.
In my MBA program, there is a professor of human resources named Mr. Wang. She is in her fifties and worked as an executive at a large corporation before retiring. She has a cheerful personality, quick thinking, and an in-depth understanding of human resource management, and her lectures always attract our attentive attention.
Mr. Wang has an only daughter named Xiao Wang. Xiao Wang has been very good since he was a child, with excellent academic performance, and chose to study abroad after graduating from university. Later, she successfully stayed in Sweden to work, got married and had children.
In the past two years, the pandemic has ravaged the world, making it extremely difficult to travel across borders. Mr. Wang and his wife have not seen their daughter and grandson for more than two years. They missed their daughter very much, and after several rounds of tossing and turning, they overcame all kinds of difficulties and finally boarded a flight to Sweden.
The days of being reunited with my daughter's family are always short and beautiful. After a short reunion, Mr. Wang and his wife embarked on the journey home again. Looking out the window at the city that is gradually moving away, their hearts are full of reluctance and emotion. After returning to Shanghai, they lived a peaceful life again, but there always seemed to be a little less laughter in the empty house.
Mr. Wang's story made me feel a lot of emotion. His daughter settled overseas for her career and marriage, and after retirement, he seemed so lonely and helpless in the face of an empty nest alone. Her story also reflects the dilemma faced by many elderly people: their children leave home and have no one to rely on.
On the way to work, the afterglow of the setting sun fell on the street, and my colleagues and I walked side by side, chatting about the shortcomings of our parents. I asked her if she was considering sending her children to the city.
When I chose to settle in the suburbs, I took a fancy to its advantages of being close to the unit and the cheap housing price, and I did not think deeply about the education of my children. Nowadays, when the children reach the age of going to school, the friends around them have begun to plan to move to the city or rent a house, just to provide better educational resources for the children.
In the face of my inquiry, my colleague shook his head and said in a slightly helpless tone: "If the child studies well, he may not come back when he goes out to college in the future, as if he has cut off contact with himself." Rather than this, it is better to let the children stay with them, and it doesn't hurt to have mediocre grades, at least to be by our side. ”
Her words expressed the hearts of many parents. For the sake of their children's education, they do not hesitate to pay a huge price and even change their lifestyle. But what exactly is the essence of education? Is it a grade, a prestigious school, or companionship and growth? This is a question worth pondering for all parents.
Some netizens commented: There are many offspring of children with poor grades, and children with good grades 'break the incense'", this sentence seems a little ridiculous at first glance, but if you think about it carefully, it doesn't seem to be groundless. In our lives, it seems that such a phenomenon does exist:
In some rural areas, young people who drop out of school early to go out to work tend to marry early, have babies early, and have more children. In the city, those people with high education and high income often choose to marry later and have children later, or even Dink.
Children with good grades walk farther.
Have you ever heard the saying that after graduating from high school, most of the people who go back to their alma mater to visit their teachers are scumbags, but the top students rarely show up?
This can't help but make people wonder, Xueba is highly valued and favored by teachers in school, and also occupies a lot of advantageous resources, why did he cut off contact with teachers after graduation? Are they really ungrateful and have forgotten all about their teachers' goodness?
In fact, it's not that they don't miss their teacher's kindness, but that time and distance have blocked their steps.
Those who used to dominate the campus are now either studying in other places or taking root in the city to work hard, the farther they walk, the farther away from their alma mater.
The pressure of study, the busyness of scientific research, and the heavy burden of work make them have no time to separate. For the dream in their hearts, they wear the stars and the moon, day and night, and many times it is difficult to squeeze out even the time to accompany their parents, let alone go back to their alma mater to visit their teachers.
But they always have gratitude and respect for their alma mater in their hearts. In the dead of night, they always recall the time they spent studying at their alma mater, and those earnest teachings and those days and nights of hard work have turned into guidance and strength on their way forward.
They are also eager to return to their alma mater, relive those youthful years, catch up with their mentors, and reunite with their classmates. But the pressure of reality has forced them to put this wish on hold again and again.
People with high education pay more attention to the realization of their own value.
Children who drop out of school early or do not study well tend to inherit the ideas of their parents and marry and have children early. It's not that they don't want change, it's because they don't have enough knowledge and vision to have a clear plan for the future, so they can only follow in the footsteps of their parents.
And those children who go to college and go to school, they have a broader vision and a more independent mind. They have their own plans for life, and they are more willing to pursue self-fulfillment. Therefore, they will also be more cautious in choosing a mate and will not compromise easily.
My friend Xiao Chen's sister is an example. She graduated with a Ph.D. and teaches at a university. Despite being nearly 30 years old, she still hasn't found a suitable partner. Her parents arranged a lot of blind dates for her, but she refused them one by one. She said she would rather die alone than settle for her marriage.
People with high academic qualifications tend to pay more attention to their own value and the meaning of life. When choosing a mate, they will not only consider the material conditions of the other party, but also pay attention to the spiritual world and values of the other party.
They want to find a partner who can fit in with their soul and progress together. Of course, this does not mean that people with high education will necessarily marry later or not. It's just that they have a more rational attitude towards marriage and pursue high-quality love more.
People who have the ability to "have the ability" have a relatively weak family affection.
In the TV series "The World", Zhou Rong is the only daughter of the Zhou family, with a high degree and beautiful appearance, but she only has herself in her heart and never considers the feelings of others.
In order to pursue her love, she did not hesitate to betray her parents' expectations, and resolutely followed Feng Huacheng, a poor poet, to a remote mountain village in Guizhou. Since the day she left home, she has never looked back, and in the past seven years, she has not made a ** call or written a letter to her family.
Later, she finally had the opportunity to go home, but she encountered an accident on the way, causing her mother to be grief-stricken and unconscious after learning the news.
Later, when her mother was critically ill, she did not fulfill her responsibilities as a daughter, did not take care of her mother for a day, and even entrusted her own daughter to her younger brother's family.
On the contrary, the younger brother Zhou Bingkun, who was looked "stupid" by everyone, always stayed by his parents' side and took care of them meticulously, making them feel warm and comforted in their later years.
Publish an article to collect dragon cards to share millions of cash People who have the ability really don't regard marriage and family as the only bargaining chip? Not really. They just know better that there is never more than one kind of bargaining chip for happiness. They have lofty aspirations, stars and seas in their eyes, and hills and valleys in their hearts.
They pursue poetry and distance, not burdened by the world, not trapped by love. They live sober and independent, not attached to anyone and will not do anything. They would rather lack than abundant, and would rather choose loneliness than compromise.
But loneliness doesn't mean you don't crave warmth. They also longed to have a soul mate, to share joys and sorrows together, and to explore the meaning of life together.
It's just that they know that marriage and family are not the only way to be happy. They don't marry for the sake of getting married, they don't have children for the sake of succession.
They prefer to wait, to wait for the person who is really right, to spend the rest of their lives together. Do you have such friends around you? They may be unique or different, but they deserve to be respected and understood.