In the adult world, toil is as common as the rising sun and the setting of the moon. We are often swept away by a wave of worry and fear, and over time, the joyful experience that comes from the heart seems to become unattainable.
Ms. Huang Yuling, a psychological counseling expert, once profoundly pointed out: "Many adults have not lost the ability to be happy, but have gradually lost the sensitivity to perceive happiness, and their source of happiness seems to be blocked by all kinds of pressure and complex emotions in reality, and cannot flow." ”
Life is like a journey, success is not the end, only to find and cherish happiness as much as possible, can be called a life without regrets.
In fact, the pursuit of happiness is not an unattainable challenge. When you learn to be calm and no longer overdraw your worries about the future, you will be able to enjoy yourself leisurely between the bits and pieces of life, and enjoy the peace and satisfaction that comes from your heart.
I don't care about anything outside of my body
When faced with the choice between money and life, everyone's answer may be very different. In the movie "A Good Year", the protagonist Max, the London ** teacher, did not hesitate to choose the embrace of money at the beginning.
He is a true workaholic, putting money above life and almost stingily giving himself a moment of rest. From dawn to dusk, his eyes were firmly locked on the computer screen, devoting himself to the changes of **, and his mind was full of the ups and downs of numbers. However, instead of bringing him happiness, this lifestyle made him irritable, lacking close friends and sparse contact with his family.
Until his uncle's death, Max unexpectedly inherited a manor. In the face of this sudden change, his initial idea was not to protect this inheritance that carried his uncle's life's work, but to rush to realize it**. So he returned to the quiet town from the hustle and bustle of London, intent on quickly disposing of the legacy.
However, the leisurely and poetic pastoral life of the small town quietly touched his deep emotions. Max recalls the good times spent on the manor as a child, surrounded by sunshine, rain and dew, and good food and wine, he begins to reflect on the vanity and emptiness of his past endless pursuit of fame and fortune.
When he stepped into the rhythm of the city again, but found that he could no longer adapt, he suddenly realized that the meaning of life is not only to survive, but also how to live. Therefore, he resolutely gave up his high salary and chose to return to the manor and embrace the life like a paradise.
It is true that money plays an important role in real life, but it is ultimately something outside the body. If you are so obsessed with money that you don't have time to savor the beauty of life, isn't it also a deep sorrow?
In the depths of economics, there is a concept known as the "Easterling paradox", which reveals an intriguing phenomenon: when basic needs are met, the increase in additional wealth does not necessarily lead to an equal increase in happiness.
Your excessive pursuit of money may lead to being bound by money and falling into a predicament where the gains outweigh the losses.
This view is exactly as the philosopher Mr. Zhou Guoping said: "If you can have both wealth and leisure time, it is undoubtedly a great blessing in life; However, if the reality is that it is difficult to have the best of both worlds, I would rather be a poor person with plenty of leisure than a busy person with a lot of money. ”
The journey of life is not only guided by money, there are many other precious things around us that are worth pursuing and cherishing.
Living in the present, upholding the abundance of the heart, and enjoying the simple pleasures of life are the cornerstones of building an ideal life. Let our inner world resonate in harmony with real life, so as to achieve a truly happy life.
I don't care what others think
Blogger @倩倩 used to be an individual who paid close attention to other people's evaluations, and her behavior deeply reflected the excessive concern for other people's eyes.
Whenever she is ready to release a one-minute piece of ** content, she will invest two or three days in fine editing, and every frame of the picture has been repeatedly scrutinized and polished. If there is the slightest expression that is not properly managed, she will not hesitate to reshoot it in order to achieve perfection.
In the long run, the colleagues who worked side by side with her were under tremendous pressure, and her state in front of the camera gradually showed a state of exhaustion. In the face of the occasional negative voices in the comment area, her mood instantly fell to the bottom, and she was even more troubled by tossing and turning at night and having difficulty sleeping.
She has been in a high-pressure state for a long time, and her physical health has begun to turn red lights, and frequent entry and exit from the hospital has become the norm. It wasn't until after the baptism of a serious illness that she suddenly realized that other people's eyes were like floating clouds after all, and her own health and happiness were the most valuable assets.
Since then, Qianqian's attitude towards life has undergone a profound change, she creates content in a more relaxed and natural state, everything she shares comes from the true emotions in her heart, and sometimes she even publishes unrefined and slightly flawed **, in order to convey the true beauty.
Surprisingly, this change has made her stats far better than before. This is a common phenomenon of human nature: caring too much about the ideas of others often unconsciously gets caught in bondage.
The more we face such a predicament, the more we must learn to release ourselves and get rid of the shackles of external expectations and judgments. You don't have to care too much about what others think, and you don't have to look for your own answers in other people's worlds. Only in this way can we truly live our own lives and bloom with unique brilliance.
As profoundly expounded in the work "The Courage That Doesn't Care":
The reason why people are so sensitive to the evaluation of others is rooted in trying to avoid the accusations and criticism of others, however, this over-concern often leads to the opposite of what they want, and the more they care, the more sharp and harsh the criticism from the outside world may become.
Only by breaking free from the shackles of external judgment can we truly immerse ourselves in the pleasure of things themselves and enjoy the pure joy.
No one is perfect in the real world, and no matter what we try, we will never meet everyone's expectations and standards.
Whether others praise or blame, it is only their momentary words, just listen to it, and there is no need to be overly concerned.
If you take these complicated statements as a guideline for your actions, your life will inevitably fall into a state of exhaustion.
Therefore, it is advisable to face life with a free and easy attitude, emulate the wisdom of "those who don't care always win", and summon up the courage to meet any possible outcome with confidence.
As long as we can let go of the attachment in our hearts, then there is no power that can cause harm to us, and life will become brighter and happier as a result.
I don't care if I win or lose
In "Despicable Women", Xia Min is a battle-hardened sales elite. Because of her outstanding work ability, her colleagues inevitably felt awe of her, fearing that her light would be overshadowed, so they repeatedly set traps to try to hinder her progress.
At 1 a.m. one day, a colleague sent her an urgent message, informing her that she needed to go to the client's company at 10 a.m. the next morning to attend an important meeting, and to prepare detailed information in advance. Fortunately, Xia Min woke up early the next morning and checked the news in time, otherwise the consequences would be unimaginable.
At dawn that day, Xia Min rushed to the office non-stop after quickly finishing washing, and went all out to make PPT, and the whole process was so busy that he didn't even have time to rest. Despite this, the cooperation at that meeting did not work out.
In those days of fighting openly and secretly with colleagues in the department, Xia Min always seemed to be inadequate, and his performance ranking never jumped to the top, and he often became the object of criticism during meetings. However, in the face of these setbacks, she has always maintained an optimistic and open-minded attitude, never caring about winning or losing in front of her, but focusing on sharpening her basic skills.
Whether it is a negotiation with the leader, she will quietly record every communication strategy so that it can be studied again and again in the future; Or before negotiating business with a client, she will carefully explore the other party's interests and hobbies, in order to accurately cater to the conversation and shorten the distance. For difficult work problems, she never gives up easily, but solves them one by one.
Xia Min's inner strength is beyond ordinary people, she looks down on the momentary gains and losses in front of her, avoids unnecessary internal friction, and rarely indulges in the frustration caused by failure, but concentrates and solves the problem unswervingly.
Her hard work was not in vain, and after just two months on the job, she achieved a rapid promotion with her strength. This sudden happiness made her feel a little like a dream, but it was this hard-won success that made her career more solid and real.
Perhaps, it is precisely because she doesn't care about short-term wins and losses, and has always maintained an optimistic and positive attitude, that she can maintain her concentration in the midst of disturbances and draw strength from the predicament.
As Wanweigang profoundly elaborates: "We should not focus too much on the momentary victory or defeat, but on the principles and systems that we have built throughout our lives." ”
As walkers in ordinary life, we will inevitably encounter all kinds of negative emotions. However, when faced with a problem, if there is a solution, there is no need to worry; Without a solution, it is futile to worry too much.
If we care too much about the outcome of each time and allow external things to control our state of mind, then we can easily fall into the whirlpool of trivial affairs and lose the ability to be happy. As everyone knows, happiness is actually a choice, and it is also an inner strength obtained from cultivation.
We are often bound by the stereotype that only when we give something is immediately rewarded, or if our effort is immediately turned into success, that such efforts are worth and celebrated.
However, in this uncertain world, there are many things that we cannot fully control. The only thing that can really change and hold in our hands is our mentality.
In the long journey of life, learn to be indifferent and know how to let go at the right time, then you have won the victory in the arena of life.
The secret to staying happy as an adult: learn not to care
In the work "Long Island Notes", the writer Guo Hong has a deep insight that it seems that we Chinese do not tend to pure entertainment and entertainment, and the enjoyment of life with games and happiness as the core. Our inner world seems to be shackled by the weight of real life.
No matter what field we are involved in, we are so focused on results and results that our heartstrings are tense all the time, and over time we fall into a spiral of burnout and exhaustion. At this moment, it seems as if happiness has become a rare and precious ability.
However, paying too much attention to everything on the outside will only lead to endless worries. Only by returning our eyes to ourselves can we truly enter the smooth road of growth and happiness.
When we can calmly face the things outside of our body, we can unload many burdens;
When we can ignore the eyes of others, we don't need to live in a compromised way.
When we can transcend the gains and losses in front of us, we can go further and see higher.
The "don't care" here is not escaping reality or self-deception, but open-mindedness and calmness after understanding the true meaning of life. Once you care about too many things, you will often have unrealistic expectations, and the slightest disappointment will ignite the anger in your heart.
Instead of bothering yourself, it is better to learn to let go and gradually look down on the chaos of the world. Knowing how not to care is actually a kind of great wisdom that allows us to become happy and stretched people, walking leisurely on the journey of life.