"You're just emotionally at a dead end, not at a dead end in life." —Yu Hua.
Intermittently in the daily book, nearly 100 days of continuous "writing", occasional floating mood swings, I still know very sure in my heart that no matter what the quality is, I will definitely be able to complete the "writing". Almost when I was sure that I had developed the habit of "writing", I came to the worst emotional ups and downs in recent times.
Relying on seven points of recklessness and three points of courage, I decided to insist on starting from 2024 and I was interrupted by the sudden attention of my former colleagues after updating four articles. Do I want to make excuses for my laziness, or do I worry too much, how much attention has become hot, and what kind of explanation should I make if my colleagues find out?
In short, the speed at which a hot fart cools down is like a fart in a cold wind, leaving no trace of temperature. Tell yourself that you should insist on completing the daily book and then go to the daily change *** two things at the same time, excessive greed will only hinder the enthusiasm for completion. January passed in a flash, and when it was time to really start to get ***, I started to have a numb scalp and didn't want to face it. Not too much work lately. Compared with the state of some time ago, the workload is complicated, and I can still find time, which can not only complete the daily book writing, but also the daily reading volume.
I have a lot of plans in my head to wait for me to "be idle". When I had more time to think and write, I started to browse the hot search news, typed a few lines, slid to WeChat chat in distraught, complained a few words with my friends, and jumped to other pages to start fugue. When I was about to get off work, I felt that a day had passed like an arrow, and I had an unforgivable self-attack emotion: "I wasted another day in vain, and I didn't do anything." "I am sure that *** has recently posted daily, don't worry.
The stock of daily books is also enough for some time. On the other hand, I panicked, when the food stock was always used up, if it was not started, the car stuck in the mud would only sink deeper and deeper. I didn't write for about three days, except for the guilt of a child who had skipped class for too long. It's more about the supply of positive energy that is emotionally stable, and it's getting less and less. The daily book is like the diary writing of a large group of strangers, everyone is busy writing a diary, maybe there is not much leisure, except for a few regular acquaintances, when writing only for comfort, not too concerned, but also written sincerely.
And after turning to ***, the idea is going through in my mind, and there is always a consideration of whether it is appropriate and whether there is attention, and I examine which article to post and what kind of topic to write layer by layer. "Writing" for one's own initial pleasure is gradually ignored. Posting on Moments is a courageous challenge. Show all your mood and life, and show it to strangers and acquaintances who have intersected with life at a certain moment. After posting a few articles, I paid attention to whether I wrote well or not, whether I would be liked by others, and after doubting and thinking back and forth, it all came down to my own writing being "not good enough". It is precisely this psychology that hinders the courage to continue to start. Obviously, not too many people pay attention to it, and they have to focus on hindering themselves from "doing". I just need to write without distractions, and with the same attitude as before, no matter how I write, I have to write first, and finish it first. Being able to keep writing at the moment is the most important thing for me. So don't worry about the quality of the writing. For example, focus most of your energy on the result before writing, and ignore the accumulation of the process.
Like at this moment, I started to write. I knew that the end result must be that I would write it. Maybe the quality is not high, maybe the writing is not enough, so what, nothing is beautiful at the beginning, starting is the tailwind, and the taste of doing it is also an experience that only you understand. The irritable heart gradually began to calm down as the words typed out paragraph by paragraph. I feel like I'm "doable" again.