Zhan Hongbing, a professor at China Agricultural University, once said:
There is a kind of person in the world, and when you deal with him, you often feel unwarranted frustration and frustration.
I would call such people poisonous people.
In reality, everyone will inevitably encounter all kinds of people with "poison" on their bodies.
They will unknowingly consume your mind, squeeze your life force, and eventually poison your life.
Our energy is finite and not worth expending for others.
Anytime you encounter these 6 "toxic personalities", please stay away.
Accusatory personality
In the TV series "Happiness to Ten Thousand Homes", Wang Qinglai is a typical accusatory personality.
After he entered the city, he drove a motorcycle at the station to earn money, because he didn't know how to do it, he took whatever money others gave.
Because ** was too low to offend his peers, he was set up by his peers, not only was he arrested, but he also lost his motorcycle.
Wang Qinglai was very angry, thinking that he was so miserable, all because of his wife: "If it weren't for you, would we need to come here to see people's faces?" ”
Later, his wife worked hard and went to Guan Tao's law firm as a cleaner.
Wang Qinglai was not only happy for her, but said in a weird manner: "Aren't you capable, why is the monthly salary only 1,005." ”
After that, whenever his wife talked to him about work, he would say impatiently, "I can't stop you when I eat!" ”
Psychologist Albert Ellis said, "Accusatory personality people can make you so depressed that you can't see your own worth, and eventually live as a person with a low sense of worth." ”
With this kind of person, once they encounter something, they can always blame others for it, and never think about whether they also have problems.
And the people around him will also live more and more aggrieved and miserable because they can't hear good words all year round.
If you are unfortunate enough to walk with them, you must stay away as fast as possible, which is the best way to protect yourself.
Rebuttal personality
In psychology, there is a concept of "rebuttal personality".
People with this kind of personality have to go against others in everything, whether they are justified or not.
When you argue with them, not only will you not be able to convince them, but you will fall into unnecessary attrition.
Writer Wang Xin published a review article on *** many years ago.
A reader questioned her: "Is this a review?" There is not a bit of logic. Isn't that your subjective imagination? ”
She was very angry when she saw it, so she gave an example to the other party, and debated from the afternoon until the early hours of the morning.
As a result, the other party didn't listen to any reason at all and still insisted on his own opinion.
She was so angry that she was depressed for days.
Writer Su Qin said: "Don't be the bar, you can't win, because in his narrow world, you are the absolute truth." ”
A person who loves to refute, no matter what others say, he must raise the bar to show his "wisdom".
Instead of arguing endlessly with them, it is better to stay away from the beginning.
After all, you can never argue with a self-righteous person, and you can never win against a person who doesn't make oil and salt.
Getting along with them will only keep lowering your level and making your mood worse and worse.
Sell miserable personality
After graduating from college, American writer George Jenny worked as an editor at the New York Herald.
At the time, he was renting the same apartment as another colleague.
When he returned to the apartment after work, his colleagues often ran to George's room and told him that he was targeted by his leaders every day and had a miserable life.
Moreover, the salary at the newspaper is very low, and there is no way to meet the daily expenses.
What he talked about the most was that his parents, both farm workers, could not help him in his career, and it was difficult for him to establish himself in New York.
When George first joined the newspaper, he worked very hard.
But since his colleague was rotten, he stopped working hard, and he got drunk with his colleagues after work.
That Christmas, George went home to visit his family.
Seeing his father working hard every day in order to support his family, and then thinking of how drunk he was every day, he suddenly felt very sad.
Although he was born in an ordinary family, his parents have done everything they can to give him the best life.
If you think about it, most of his colleagues are friendly, and he loves the work of the newspaper.
The earth-shaking changes in his life all started when he met that colleague who loved to sell miserably.
Back in New York, the first thing George did was move out of his apartment.
Emotions between people are contagious.
People who like to sell miserably are like leeches attached to you, which will slowly suck away your energy, making you depressed and passive.
When you meet such a person, it is the best choice to dissociate yourself from them in time.
Repressive personality
In reality, everyone has probably encountered such a situation:
As soon as he was praised by the leader, some people ridiculed "what's the big deal about this";
If you get a certain certificate through hard work, you are said to be "completely lucky";
wanted to try an idea to make money, but some people said "you are not this material, give up as soon as possible";
With these people who have been denying you, you will gradually lose confidence and fall into infinite self-doubt.
Writer Li Shanglong once talked about a friend of his own.
This friend usually likes to hit others the most, and he always speaks openly.
Li Shanglong doesn't pay much attention to dressing, once a friend saw it, and he directly sneered in public:
Look at the dress you're wearing, it's like picking up rags, it's ugly.
Before Li Shanglong could reply, she said again: I don't know, I think you are a ** criminal.
Li Shanglong felt very uncomfortable, but he still endured it.
Another time, Li Shanglong wrote a ** and wanted to discuss it with her, but he didn't want her to say it as soon as she opened her mouth
I felt that this was far from my expectations, and I was not interested in reading the first page.
Hearing this, Li Shanglong's enthusiasm was extinguished all of a sudden, he couldn't hold back any longer, and hung up with a bang.
Since then, the two have not been in contact with each other.
Psychologist Zeng Qifeng said that a person who continues to be denied is tantamount to being tried by the court at all times.
Those who belittle and deny you will only eat away at your self-confidence and extinguish your enthusiasm.
In the end, you will be in self-questioning and live a gloomy life.
If someone keeps belittling you, denying you, or even slandering you, be sure to leave ten times faster.
Requisitive personality
The owl of the writer Lao Yang wrote about the experience of an English teacher, Xiao Zhang.
Xiao Zhang and his colleague met through training, and the two shared a house together.
After living together, Xiao Zhang cooks every time, and even when he goes out to buy vegetables, the other party never takes the initiative to pay.
What's even more devastating is that every night when I come home from work, my colleagues have to ask her for help.
Sometimes I asked her to translate a famous sentence, sometimes I asked her to translate ** subtitles, and even asked her to help others translate articles.
Translation requires a lot of research, which is very time-consuming and labor-intensive.
She had tried to politely refuse, but instead made the other party unhappy.
In this way, because of the requirements of his colleagues, Xiao Zhang's work and rest time was greatly reduced, and even affected his work.
Finally, once, in unbearable condition, she turned her face directly with the other party and moved out.
Without other people's unreasonable demands, Xiao Zhang breathed a sigh of relief.
In life, there are always some people, the more you accommodate, the more he asks; The more you endure, the more oppressive he becomes.
Demand-seeking people are like bloodsuckers who will not only suck your time and energy, but also eat away at your life.
In the face of ungrateful and greedy people, stay away as soon as possible, and don't let our kindness be disappointed again and again.
Jealous personality
Blogger @大可 once told his workplace story.
When he was young, he entered a hospital at the same time as a classmate, and they were both assigned to key departments.
Later, Dake was appreciated by the chief doctor, and was often invited to participate in various seminars, and his professional ability became stronger and stronger.
And that classmate has been standing still.
Once, when the department wanted to be evaluated, Dake was full of confidence, but in the end he was defeated.
He couldn't figure it out, so he went to the department leader for details.
Only then did he know that he was defeated because someone reported that he had a problem with his usual work style.
And the one who slandered him behind his back was actually his classmate.
It turned out that Dake's excellence always made his classmates very unhappy, so he deliberately stumbled him.
After learning about this, Dake broke off relations with his classmates.
Bacon once said:
One can allow a stranger to flourish, but one can never forgive the rise of a person close to him. ”
Those who do not see you well have the evil flower of jealousy growing in their hearts.
In their eyes, your excellence, career success, and happiness in life can never surpass him.
They never reflect on themselves, but try to pull you down.
A jealous person, no matter how sincere you are, one day he will make you a big problem.
When you meet this kind of person, turn your face as soon as possible, so that you will not be dragged into the quagmire of misfortune by him.
In an interview, Charlie Munger said:
When you meet someone who is toxic, you would rather lose your money and get them out of your life, the sooner the better! ”
When you associate with toxic people, you get nothing but to wear yourself.
Learn to invite the above 6 "toxic" people out of their lives and draw a clear line with them, so as to protect yourself and make life more comfortable.
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