I'm longing, longing is shattering; Longing always forgives disillusionment, but disillusionment never lets go of longing. A sentence comes true, in the interweaving of dreams and reality, Gu Cheng's life is like this poem, always realizing self-redemption in hope and loss.
In 1993, Gu Cheng's life came to an end. Before he died, he left a suicide note for his son, ending all struggles. Today, his merits and demerits are left to future generations to evaluate, and his past experiences can no longer restrain his steps towards freedom.
In his story, his early personality and experiences had a profound impact on his life. As the English writer Maugham said, "What kind of book a writer can write depends on what kind of person he is." ”
Gu Cheng, a genius boy born in a family of poets in Beijing, his father Gu Gong was a famous poet who served in the New Fourth Army, served as a member of the Art Troupe of the Political Department of the New Fourth Army, and worked as a screenwriter in Bayi Studio.
Influenced by the family environment, Gu Cheng developed a love of reading and solitude since he was a child, and he often squatted next to a tree to talk to ants, which was a deep impression he left on his family when he was a child.
However, in 1969, Gu Cheng's father was sent to a city at the southern end of the Bohai Sea, and the family was forced to move to Shandong with his father. As a result, 13-year-old Gu Cheng lost the opportunity to go to school, and he was trapped in farm work for most of his time.
Despite this, he did not give up his thirst for knowledge, but enriched his knowledge and talents through reading and self-study.
During his days on the farm, Gu Cheng experienced the contrast between imagination and reality for the first time, which made him even more inclined to dreamlike ideas. In addition to his daily hard work, the most common thing he does is to observe nature, indulge in dreams, communicate with nature, and create an innocent world for himself.
Five years later, Gu Cheng's family returned to Beijing, a period that can be said to be an important stage in the progress of Gu Cheng's literary career. Gu Cheng was doing carpentry chores on the streets of Xicheng District, but he had more time to spare during this period than in previous years.
In the process of learning to draw and read books, Gu Cheng constantly enriched his fantasy world and vividly expressed it through mature writing. At this time, a talented poet began to emerge.
Although the fairy tale is shattered and the love is disillusioned, he still insists on his pursuit of a better world. In the "Fairy Tale Poet" written for him by Shu Ting, we can also see the pure Gu Cheng in his heart, he is as kind as a child, and uses poetry to weave a pure and beautiful world for us.
However, reality is not always as beautiful as fairy tales, and neither mundane life nor love that has been praised or mourned by people is perfect.
When the trivialities of life collide with the romance of dreams, most people will choose to compromise and start anew, but this can be an unbearable blow for sensitive poets.
The encounter between Gu Cheng and Xie Hua was a beautiful first meeting. At that time, Gu Cheng was concentrating on drawing on the train, while Xie Hua was watching him quietly. She may have been attracted to this talented young man, or she could have been attracted by his quiet temperament, which made him stand out in this environment, but also had an attractive charm.
Relatively speaking, the tacit understanding between them does not need any words. When the train arrived at the station, Gu Cheng handed Xie Hua his address, and the next day, Xie Hua went directly to him.
Their relationship is like a rocket, Xie Hua is still studying on campus, Gu Cheng will pick her up after class, the two of them study together on the way home, talk about their ideals, play and play, and attract the envy of others.
Their relationship has gone from acquaintance, love, and marriage to marriage, and Gu Cheng has always been by Xie Hua's side. However, Gu Cheng seems to have maintained his childlike innocence all along.
After getting married, Gu Cheng hoped to go to Beijing for development, but Xie Hua was a little hesitant because he was unwilling to give up his work and family environment. In order to achieve his goal, Gu Cheng chose to go on a hunger strike, and finally succeeded in convincing Xie Hua to compromise.
Xie Hua and Gu Cheng immigrated to New Zealand together, and soon after, their love crystallized was born. However, Gu Cheng decided to foster the child to others because he didn't want his son to share the love between himself and his wife.
Over the years, Xie Hua has silently endured Gu Cheng's childishness, always accompanied him, and gave him meticulous care and care.
Gu Cheng's life, like most people's, struggles between red roses and white roses. In his life, two women had a profound influence on him, one was a virtuous and virtuous wife, and the other was his ideal lover, and Yingzi was his ideal perfect lover.
However, when Yingzi gets to know Gu Cheng deeply, she discovers that Gu Cheng's talent and talent far outweigh his fragile heart, which makes her realize that Gu Cheng is not the lover she really wants.
Gu Cheng struggled repeatedly between two women he loved deeply, and he wandered between joy and remorse. This experience makes him realize that the ideal perfect love is just an illusion, and that the fairytale dream is finally shattered, making death closer and closer.
In Gu Cheng's poems, full of symbols of death, he used"Sleep is a big river, it is lonely, the center of the heavy eyebrows, blooming flowers"to make his point across.
For Gu Cheng, death is not a horror, but a peaceful relief, a process of self-redemption. Yingzi's departure hit Gu Cheng deeply, but what really made Gu Cheng go to the endless abyss was Xie Hua's departure.
These sudden losses made Gu Cheng lose confidence in life, and he had built a perfect fairy tale world with his heart, but this world was still broken in the end.
In 1993, when Gu Cheng's marriage was in crisis, he killed his wife Xie Hua with an axe and left a suicide note, hoping that his son would avoid going his own way.
In his view, death does not mean the end, but a new beginning, a redemption to wash away regrets, and the courage to live to die. to"Good guys"or"Bad guys"It is too simplistic and naïve to define Gu Cheng's life.
We can't sum up his life in a few words, and therefore, we shouldn't jump to conclusions that he was"Good guys"or"Bad guys"。
Gu Cheng's character is deeply influenced by the times, but his keen and unique talent is even more significant. Perhaps, as the saying goes, the gift of life has long been secretly decided.
His innocence led him to compose the most beautiful verses, but this innocence also led him to fall into fantasy and ultimately seek self-redemption through death.