OMG! I really sighed that time is like flowing water, and I am almost forty years old in a flash, only to suddenly realize that it also has a formula template for praising children! After reading the 4 steps to compliment her child shared by this mother, I was simply blown away! It turns out that good boys are really praised for their words, which is the legendary "Rosenthal effect".
Do you know? The Rosenthal effect, the term may sound technical, but in reality, it's right in the corners of our lives. To put it simply, people's expectations and attitudes can have a huge impact on a child's development. This is not only what parents expect from their children, but also what teachers, friends, etc. expect. When we think of a child as smart and potential, this expectation works like magic, making the child more confident, self-disciplined, and able to achieve better grades.
Imagine how confident and hard-working our children would be if they could hear our praise and anticipation every day! This universal formula for praising children is really worth every parent taking the time to take a closer look.
Now, let me give you a few specific examples.
Xiao Zhang's mother will say to Xiao Zhang every day: "Baby, you did so well today, Mom is proud of you!" Such praise made Xiao Zhang full of confidence and motivation every day, and his performance in school was getting better and better, and his grades were skyrocketing. That's where the Rosenthal effect comes into play.
Let's talk about Xiao Li. Xiao Li's father is an engineer, and he always encourages Xiao Li to try all kinds of small productions and experiments. Whenever Xiao Li finished a work, his father would seriously say, "Wow, is this what you did?" It's really amazing! Dad believes that you will be a great engineer. Such praise and expectation made Xiao Li have a strong interest in science, and he is now the backbone of the school's science and technology club.
There is also Xiao Wang, her mother will accompany her to paint every day, and whenever Xiao Wang completes a work, her mother will praise: "Wow, your painting is really creative, Mom likes it very much!" Such praise has made Xiao Wang full of enthusiasm for painting, and her paintings have won many awards in competitions inside and outside the school.
You see, these praises and expectations, like sunshine and rain, nourish children to thrive. And this universal formula for praising children is like a magic ** given to their children by parents, which can help them better face the challenges of life.
So, dear parents, don't be stingy with your praise and expectations, use this universal formula to praise your children more! Let them feel your care and support, and let them become more confident, disciplined, and excellent in your compliments. Remember, good boys are all praised, and the Rosenthal effect is the magical power behind this praise.
Of course, complimenting your child isn't as simple as saying "you're awesome." Effective compliments need to be specific, genuine, and motivate the child's internal drive. Here's a detailed formula for complimenting your child, and examples of how you can use this formula to specifically compliment your child:
Compliment the child's formula:
Specific behaviors: First, clearly indicate the specific behaviors or outcomes that your child is doing well.
Feelings Sharing: Next, share how you, as a parent or elder, feel when you see your child doing this.
What to expect from the future: Finally, express your expectations and confidence in your child's future development and achievements.
Example: Scenario: The child volunteered to help with the housework and washed the dishes after school today.
Compliment your child with formulas:
Specific behavior: "Baby, I saw that you took the initiative to wash the dishes after school today, which is really amazing." ”
Feelings sharing: "Mom and Dad are very happy and proud, because it shows that you not only know how to share the housework, but also have a strong sense of responsibility. ”
Future expectations: "I believe that as you grow up, you will become more independent and responsible, and become a person who contributes to both your family and society. ”
Don't: Sincerity: When complimenting your child, make sure your words are sincere and not out of habit or coping.
Avoid empty compliments: Don't use overly general or empty compliments, such as "you're so smart" or "you're doing a great job", such compliments lack specificity and make it difficult for children to understand that they have done a good job.
Personality-specific: Children with different personalities may need different ways of complimenting. For introverted children, gentle, delicate compliments may be more needed; And for extroverted children, warm, direct praise may be more needed.
Moderation: While compliments are important, excessive compliments can also make children complacent. Therefore, make sure that the praise is moderate, neither too stingy nor too extensive.
In conclusion, effective praise not only makes children feel recognized and encouraged, but also fosters their self-confidence and sense of responsibility, and promotes their all-round development. As parents or elders, we should learn to use the techniques and methods of praise correctly so that children can thrive in our praise.
Starting today, let's work together to shape a better future with this universal formula for praising children! Let our children thrive on your praise and expectations to become the person they want to be. Trust me, when you see them become more confident and excellent because of your compliments, you will feel that it is all worth it.
Dear parents, have you ever wondered how those wonderful mothers raised their children so well? In fact, it's not some unfathomable "secret formula", but rather a deep understanding of your child, building a genuine connection with them, and leading them to success. Every child is unique, and we need to tailor a personalized approach to education based on their characteristics and needs. But in any case, as parents, we must master the "art of speaking".
The Language of Parents book provides valuable inspiration and advice for parents. Not only does it help us gain a deeper understanding of our child's growth and development, but it also provides us with practical communication skills and strategies. For example, how to praise and criticize children appropriately, how to establish effective communication with children, etc. These tips and strategies can help us better connect with our children and guide them to grow up healthy.
Let's work together to be better parents and contribute to the growth and development of our children. The Language of Parents is an extremely valuable read, providing us with not only theoretical knowledge but also practical communication skills and strategies. Let's read this book together and create a better tomorrow for children's future! Million Creators Program