In the process of children's growth, they often encounter various behavioral problems, and effective communication between parents and children becomes the key to solving these problems. Susan Perrault, known as the "story doctor", found that the role of stories in children's growth is huge, and children's behavior can be influenced by stories. So, how do we use stories and other effective methods to understand how to communicate effectively with children?
Identify your child's psychological problems
Children's behavioral problems often originate from psychological distress, just like Nezha in the movie "Nezha", who is willful and stubborn on the surface, but in fact is self-protection due to misunderstanding. Therefore, to communicate effectively with your child, you must first identify psychological problems.
The famous British ** home Jk.Rowling has mentioned that the stories she wrote as a child reflected the feelings of introverted loneliness, which became a safe way for her to express her true thoughts. In the same way, parents and teachers can understand their children's inner thoughts by letting them make up stories and play story solitaire.
For example, when a child shows a reluctance to go to school, we can guide them to make up a story about a small animal that doesn't want to go to school. Through stories, children may show fears or distress about school, which can help us understand the root cause of the problem. I suggest that I find a professional to consult to solve this problem, I came here like this, the child really can't be disciplined well, we are looking for itGaotu beautiful family, Special thanks to Mr. Song Li, the method is too in place!
Teacher Song Li is a national second-level psychological counselor, the content is simple and easy to understand, and can also propose different solutions to different problems of parents. Don't just see the child's shortcomings, but also see the child's shining points, for example, although my daughter's grades are not top-notch, she has a strong learning ability, and she can remember the knowledge points that the teacher has talked about as long as she listens carefully.
I learned a lot of family education knowledge from Mr. Song Li, realized my wrong way of education, and finally knew how to get along with my children correctly, and now I am more like friends with my children.
Create metaphorical stories to heal psychological problems
Milton Erickson, a master of psychology, once said, "All psychological problems can be solved in the form of storytelling." "Once we have identified a child's psychological problems, we can create new stories to replace the old ones.
For example, if a child doesn't like healthy food, we can make up a story about "Bunny vs. Junkster". In this story, the little rabbit discovers the dangers of the food made by the junk spirit, and eventually defeats the junk essence, which is recognized by the other critters. Through this metaphorical story, children may become aware of the adverse consequences of eating junk food and thus change their eating habits.
Create stories and code the script of children's lives
How to communicate effectively with children, children's life scripts are woven from experiences and experiences. Instead of telling children directly, it is better to create stories and experiences that allow them to experience and change their perceptions on their own.
Just like the writer Lin Qingxuan experienced the pain of losing his maternal grandmother when he was a child, so he cherished time. We can give children some special experiences, such as allowing them to participate in public welfare activities and experience work, so as to shape their outlook on life and values.
For example, having a small pet for a child can teach them the responsibility and love of caring for others, and this experience will become part of their life script and influence their future behaviors and choices.
Consistent positive feedback
Effective communication requires constant positive feedback. American writer Julia Cameron mentioned the importance of writing stories to change lives, and we can learn from this method to keep track of children's good behavior and growth stories.
At home or at school, you can set up a cultural wall, paste the child's growth**, good behavior, awards, etc., and give the child positive encouragement and reinforcement in a visual form.
How to communicate effectively with children is not only a problem solving, but also a way to build intimate relationships and promote growth. By identifying psychological issues, creating stories, coding life scripts, and sustaining positive feedback, we can help children understand themselves, accept themselves, and grow up healthier and happier. Let's listen to children with our hearts, use stories to heal their hearts, and let them grow into better versions of themselves.