What to do if your child is grumpy is a headache for many parents. In the busy life, it is common to hear such a roar:
You little fool, how can you not even do such a simple question correctly! ”
You're so lazy that you know to play games all day long! ”
Don't lose your temper at every turn, let me educate you how! ”
These words may come from the anxiety and helplessness of parents, but they play a worse role in the child's temper.
The educator Montessori once said, "Every character defect is caused by some kind of mistreatment experienced in early childhood." "For us adults, a momentary vent may just be an emotional outburst, but for children, the effects can be long-term, even lifelong.
Improper ways lead to irritability
Confessing mistakes in the mouth, but not in the heart: Some children will choose to admit their mistakes in order to end their parents' reprimand as soon as possible, but there is no real reflection and change in their hearts. They will develop a negative attitude of complaining when they encounter difficulties, and over time, a short temper becomes their way of coping.
Silence and numbness: Other children may appear silent, but already hurt inside. They don't know how to deal with their parents' accusations and reprimands, so they suppress these negative emotions in their hearts, and over time they become negative and withdrawn.
I'm also a parent, as far as children's learning is concerned, purely relying on yelling at children or strict discipline is basically futile, and making the children even more disgusted, that's how I came over until a few months ago, inGaotu beautiful familyAfter studying for a period of time, I learned too much with Mr. Song Li, at first because after the junior high school, the child's learning was originally in the middle, but after the junior high school, geography and biology were added, the child was very hard at the beginning, but in the second half of the year, the opportunity was very backward, and even he was rotten and did not study!
The family was also very anxious, but they couldn't control their emotions, which caused the smell of gunpowder at home to be particularly strong during that time, basically blowing up at one point, and the child was becoming more and more rebellious. Ask the teacher for help, the teacher let the science guide, recommended the Gaotu beautiful family, the first half of the second year of junior high school, basically we stabilized, the child also realized the value of learning, caught up, and the atmosphere at home was also good, so it is worth learning.
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Frontal counterattack and easy loss of control: Some children will choose to fight back head-on, and may be loud**, crying loudly, and even refusing to cooperate, losing temper, and aggressive behavior. They feel the pressure of their parents' emotions, but they don't know how to express them properly and can only cope by venting their emotions.
The impact goes far beyond that
Not only in terms of personality, but also in terms of children's short tempers, which directly affects their brain development. Martin A., associate professor of psychiatryTeicher's research found that children who have been subjected to verbal violence for a long time may have their verbal IQ affected. Their verbal IQ may be lower than that of children who are not subjected to violence, illustrating that temper tantrums can have a negative impact on a child's learning and development.
What to do if your child is grumpy, how to deal with it:
Use a low tone: It is more acceptable to criticize your child in a low tone. Don't yell your child in public, wait until you're in private. Just like Hu Shi's mother, she never criticized Hu Shi in front of others, but treated him with her characteristic gentleness and tolerance in private.
Apologies in a timely manner:
If we find that our emotions are out of control and we have said excessive things to our children, we must apologize in time. However, an apology should not just be lip service, it should be a sincere confession and change in the heart
Regret: Expresses regret and regret for your actions.
Responsibility: Admit your mistakes and explain that you are emotionally out of control.
Remediation: Make suggestions to solve the problem, such as better control of emotions and understanding of the child's situation in the future.
What to do if a child has a short temper, we as parents need to think and deal with it from multiple angles. Not only should you be aware of the possible long-term effects of the wrong way of communicating, but you should also learn to use psychological principles and gentle ways to guide your child. When we can calmly face the child's irritability, we may be able to find a better solution, and at the same time, we can subtly cultivate the child's good emotional management ability. Let's start today with a little more understanding and gentleness to build a more harmonious parent-child relationship with our children.