On the Douban platform, I noticed a thought-provoking post. When the protagonist returns to his hometown for the New Year, it happens that his uncle comes to visit relatives and friends and brings a gift. However, the mother insisted on this as an excuse to ask the protagonist to give back a sum of money to his uncle.
The protagonist is puzzled by this, believing that according to traditional etiquette, it is rare for a niece to give money to her uncle on the occasion of the Chinese New Year, not to mention that she has not yet started a family. She doesn't have a deep relationship with her uncle.,The two have only seen each other for many years.,And the uncle hasn't bought her a gift.,Nor did he give New Year's money during the New Year.,So,In the protagonist's opinion,There's no need to pay this money.。
When she expressed to her mother that she was unwilling to give money, she was severely reprimanded by her mother. Mother's reason is that not long ago, when his uncle was sick and hospitalized, the hero was unable to visit, so this time it is particularly necessary to compensate with money.
In the end, at the insistence of his mother, the protagonist reluctantly wrapped a red envelope of 600 yuan to give to his uncle, but his mother still felt that the amount was not enough, so she added another 100 yuan by herself. I thought this was the end of the matter.,Who knew that the follow-up development was shocking:The mother actually asked the hero for the extra 100 yuan.。
The protagonist is extremely angry and chilled by this, and what she cares about is not the cost itself, but her mother's behavior of claiming it back afterwards, which makes her feel disappointed. What makes the protagonist even more heart-wrenching is that her mother's demands on her seem to be limited to herself, and she has never had similar requirements for her sister. It's just because my sister has a strong personality.,The slightest dissatisfaction will lose control of emotions.,And the hero is relatively easy to compromise.,Often choose to endure.。
The protagonist reveals that he has been working independently to earn money since he was a teenager, and his parents have never given him financial support, while in contrast, his sister has been able to get financial support from her family until she graduated from college. Such a contrast undoubtedly aggravates the injustice and sadness in the protagonist's heart.
My sister often causes trouble, and even causes her to lose her job. Faced with this situation, the parents asked the questioner to take responsibility for finding a job for her sister, accompanying her to play, and taking care of various things.
One day, the questioner accidentally burned his hand while visiting his sister by high-speed train in the middle of the night, but the sister did not pay attention. Regrettably, the parents expressed dissatisfaction with the questioner's lack of concern, believing that she had contributed little to the family and was not filial enough.
After this post was released, it quickly sparked a heated discussion among netizens.
It's too much to ask for $100 from you. This is what your mother shoehorned into you. If she doesn't think it's enough, she should make up another 100 yuan herself. Just 100 yuan to reach out to my daughter, this kind of behavior is really incredible. It is advisable to leave the family as soon as possible and stay away from these vampires. ”
You're being overly empathetic. Try to express yourself in the future. ”
The questioner is always dominated by his family due to his kind-hearted and docile personality.
At the same time, someone has mastered the means of defending their rights and interests by "going crazy".
In another discussion thread, @momo shared a creative and compelling personal experience of how to subtly respond to family pressure to get married. The story has garnered a lot of attention on the web.
The narrative mentions that at a family dinner, Momo's dad once again brought up her marital problems. At first, Momo also tried to deal with it mildly, but when she found that the regular response could not calm her father's urging, she decided to express her position in an unexpected way.
I saw her suddenly bang her head on the table at the dinner table, let out a fierce **, and listed the marital and emotional misdeeds of the male elders in the family as a counterbuttal.
She bluntly pointed out that her grandfather was still looking for emotional sustenance outside despite his advanced age, and her cousin indulged himself with his identity as a rich second generation and lived a rotten life; The second grandfather fell into an entanglement with the little widow in the village early, and was even criticized and educated for climbing over the wall during the epidemic. Even more surprisingly, Momo pointed out that his father frequented the pedicure and questioned whether he could maintain a pure relationship.
She emotionally complained that the female members of the family were not enjoying the happiness they deserved, and that now her father was forcing her to follow the same path and live a life that could be unhappy.
She asked bitterly: "You only care about face, you don't care about my daughter's feelings!" Why did you give birth to me? Why? Why? With this series of questions and the loud banging of the table, the whole scene was extremely tense.
This bold and resolute rebellion obviously had a deterrent effect, so that Grandpa and Dad never dared to mention marriage to Momo easily. This seemingly dramatic venting has actually become a powerful means of self-defense, which has aroused heated discussions and deep thinking among netizens.
In life, it is difficult for us to avoid dealing with some people who ignore the truth and rely on the old to sell the old, and they wantonly trample on the rights and interests of others. Faced with this situation, many people often choose to endure humiliation and remain silent out of adherence to traditional virtues, such as the concepts of "respecting the old and respecting the virtuous" and "not committing any offense".
However, the reality is not always to forbearance in exchange for harmony, sometimes your regression does not in exchange for the other party's understanding and convergence, but may be forced step by step, more and more arrogant.
So, in this case, why not try another way to cope? "Going crazy" at the right time may allow us to find a space to survive in difficult situations. As the saying goes, "A crying child has milk", a principle that shines with wisdom in all corners of life.
There is a passage circulating on the Internet**: a group of young boys were chased away by square dance aunts while skateboarding, and these boys chose an ingenious way to fight back - they pretended to be crazy and stupid, and kept making jokes of "slightly slightly...... in their mouths”
In the end, the aunts were enraged, spat out the quintessence of the country, and even used their hands and feet. In this psychological war without gunpowder, the boys who seemed to be "crazy" won the victory.
I've seen a lot of situations where it's better to get fairness than gentle communication, such as being cut in line, being treated differently, being verbally offended, encountering garbage merchants, and so on.
Sometimes the easier you talk, the less you will be treated, but if the other party knows that "it's over, this person is not easy to fool", they are forced to pay attention.
The core concept of "crazy is useful" is actually to make the other party realize that the price paid for choosing to "not solve" the problem is much higher than taking the initiative to "solve".
A forum owner once shared his experience of correcting uncivilized behavior on the high-speed rail:
Originally, the landlord bought the business seat to enjoy a peaceful riding environment, but encountered several passengers who lacked public morality.
Faced with this scene, some passengers tried to remind them in a polite way, whispering a request to lower the volume.
However, these people ignored this and continued to raise their voices. When he couldn't bear it anymore, the landlord decided to take strategic action. He pretended to call his family's **, claimed that he was emotionally uncontrollable due to the excessive noise of other people's calls, and was a mentally ill person, and instructed his family to prepare to hire a lawyer and make a motion to get up at the same time.
Just when the landlord just stood up and had not opened the door, the passengers who shouted ** quickly hung up**.
In this way, the landlord skillfully used a seemingly "crazy" method, and successfully stopped the noise on the high-speed train and defended his rights and interests without directly clashing with anyone.
"Crazy" here does not mean deliberately hurting others, but accurately grasps the instinctive reaction of human nature to power and weakness.
It is only when their own interests are threatened that people reflect on and restrain their misdeeds.
In this world, it is often the honest people who are silent and stoic who are hurt, and they are the kind of beings who will not easily cry out for pain even if they are stabbed by the tip of a needle. However, the reality is not that pity is shown to them because of their loyalty, but rather because of their loyalty, which often justifies others for intensification.
It is only when these honest people rise up and show their little-known anger and madness that others begin to worry about them and realize that their bottom line is inviolable.
The famous writer Mr. Yu Hua once wrote such a deafening sentence in the work "Shouting in the Drizzle": "People often mistakenly think that repeated patience can be exchanged for beauty, which is actually a kind of ignorant cognition.
The reason why people treat you this way is because they think you will choose to be patient. Only when we face the world with a resolute attitude and show unprecedented **, will the world suddenly become gentle and show the respect it deserves. ”
Therefore, instead of endlessly exhausting ourselves, it is better to release the long-suppressed madness in a timely manner, so as to awaken the outside world's attention and awe of us.
Let us encourage each other to learn to move forward courageously when necessary to defend our rights and dignity.