You'll never see me when I'm at my loneliest, because I'm loneliest only when you're not with me.
It was a sunny morning, and the sun poured into my room through the curtains, shining on my messy sheets, and illuminating my empty and lonely heart. I lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling in a daze, but my thoughts drifted to you far away. I know that you must be busy somewhere at this time, maybe you are talking and laughing with friends, maybe you are worrying about work, and I can only bear this loneliness alone in this empty room.
We used to be so close, your smile, your gentleness, your every move is deeply engraved in my heart. We've come so much together, we've had so many happy times together, and I thought we'd go on like this forever. However, fate always likes to play tricks on people, and it inadvertently separates us and leads us to different life trajectories.
You've never been back to me since that day, and I'm getting used to not being with you. I told myself that I wanted to be strong, I wanted to be independent, and I couldn't let you see my vulnerability. However, in the dead of night, whenever I see the memories that once belonged to us, my heart involuntarily feels a pang of colic. I know, that's because I miss you.
I started working hard, living hard, and I wanted to make myself better, so good that you would be amazed at the change in me when you saw me again. I signed up for various classes, learned new skills, made new friends, and I even learned how to take care of myself and no longer depend on anyone. I use busyness to fill the emptiness in my heart, and smile to cover the pain in my heart.
No matter how hard I try, the loneliness always follows me, it is like an insurmountable chasm, separating me from you. I began to dread the night, because I was always thinking of you and our past. I'd curl up on the bed, hugging the pillow tightly, trying to find a hint of warmth, a hint of the breath you've left behind.
Some people say that time is the best healing medicine, and it can ** all wounds. But why can't I feel it? Why does my heart still hurt so much? I don't know how long it will last, and I don't know if I'll really be able to get out of the shadow of this relationship. But I know that no matter what, I can't let you see me when I'm the loneliest, because I'm the loneliest when you're not with me.
Maybe one day, we will have a chance to meet again, maybe that day will never come. But no matter what, I will remember what you said to me, remember the joy and sorrow you brought me. I will keep this memory in my heart and let it become my motivation to move forward and a witness to my growth.
So, my dear, if you can read this article, I just want to tell you: thank you for coming to my world and making me feel the taste of loving and being loved. Although we are no longer as close as we used to be, I will continue to move forward with the strength you have given me. I hope that one day in the future, when we meet again, you will see a more mature and stronger me.
And now, allow me to face this loneliness alone when you are not with me, until I too can find the person with whom I can share my life.