Controversy Project
Gorky said that loving children is something that even a hen would do. Obviously, in addition to loving children, we humans are also one hand higher than hens, and that is to be able to educate children. This also raises a question for us, that is, how to love children and how to manage children. In real life, most of us parents are"Love is deep, and demand is demanding"。It seems that the hopes of the whole family and the wishes that he did not fulfill are all pressed on the children. This type of parent clearly shows two sides in their children. On the one hand, they do their best to keep their children's food, clothing, shelter and transportation, let themselves not eat or drink, suffer hardships and suffer, and do not let their children suffer the slightest wrong. On the other hand, they are extremely strict with their children's education, and they want to cultivate their children into special talents, and they are always strictly disciplined. So much so that the child is surrounded by an atmosphere of doing this and not doing that all day. And there is more criticism and less encouragement for children. Not only China, but also the United States, which is far away across the ocean, has a similar situation. Americans once did a survey that showed that children get one positive evaluation for every six negative evaluations. Although we have not seen any survey data in China in this regard, it is safe to say that the proportion is not lower than that of the United States, because too many parents have high expectations for their children.
Thinking about our children today, it is really a little pitiful, and their parents are so material needs for them"Doting", for their learning and education is so"Exactly"。Parents have set their sights on the goal of their children's growth, but rarely find the shining points in their children's growth. Due to the lack of encouragement and appreciation from parents, many children become materialistic"Rich", spiritual needs"Poor"。The appreciation and praise that children crave often become something that children cannot hope for. Anyone who has read Einstein's story of making a small bench knows that the stool he showed to the teacher, although it was the best one he made, was so bad that it was so bad with other children that the teacher said:"There is no worse bench in the world! "The two that Einstein did earlier were even worse. If we only knew about horizontal comparison, then we would think that Einstein's manual work was simply terrible, but if we look at his own vertical comparison, he has made great progress, and the small bench is getting better and better every time. Many of us parents just lack the ability to look at their children vertically, and only know that they are not allowed to fall behind horizontally, but they don't know how to appreciate their children's vertical progress.
I read on a document about the greeting card that American billionaire Bill Gates wrote to his mother when he was in college. It was very touching to read. Its original text is:"I love you! Mom, you never said I was worse than other children; You are always looking for praise in what I do; I miss all the time I spent with you. ""From Bill Gates's words, we feel the greatness of her mother, not to mention that her child is worse than other children, but also builds self-confidence for her child: constantly looking for something worthy of praise adds motivation to her child. How do we do that? Do we often say to our children in a questioning tone?"Have you finished your homework? I scored so many points in the exam, and I still want to play with my mobile phone, no way! "Can we ask the child in a tone that tries to understand the child instead:"How are you doing at school today? Is there any good news for us? Do you have new ideas, new ideas, new ideas? Parents want to hear it! "Even if your child doesn't surprise you, you still send a message to your child that you expect your child to grow every day.
You must know that a child is a growing person, a person who is developing and changing, and a person with strong plasticity. It is not enough to treat them as a hen loves a child, but also to appreciate the child with an appreciative eye and treat the child with a developmental eye. If parents' love for their children is divided into three levels, then only satisfying the material needs of children belongs to the primary level; Those who only know how to be demanding of children and do not know how to praise belong to the intermediate level; And the kind of people who know and appreciate children and can find the shining points in the child's growth process belong to the advanced level. Can you see your child's progress? Can you spot the brilliance in your child? Can you guide your child to think of new ideas? These determine whether or not our parents' love can be"Glitter"；It determines how much positive cues, how much self-confidence, and how much motivation a child can get from their parents. So let's all parents work hard and let parents love"Glitter"Let this light illuminate the child's future.