Controversy Project
I once read a classic story, which is very intriguing. It is said that a lady came to her daughter's kindergarten to visit the children's calligraphy and painting exhibition. A painting of "Accompanying My Mother on the Street" puzzled her. There are no tall buildings or traffic in the painting, only the legs of countless adults. Later, the kindergarten teacher helped her solve this doubt. It turns out that in the eyes of kindergarten children, it is the legs of adults that they see the most!
Although this is a story, it reveals a very profound truth about family teaching. That is, parents must learn to see the world through the eyes of their children. However, this is easier said than done. If you don't believe it, think about ourselves, look around us, don't the vast majority of parents look at their children with their own eyes and ideas? As a result, there is a big gap and a lot of differences between parents and children in terms of cognition!
Looking at our parents today, who is not full of infinite expectations and does not hesitate to invest energy and financial resources for their children? It's really pitiful for the hearts of parents all over the world! However, because parents are always condescending, thinking that they see more, know more, think more, and do more than their children, they often ignore their children's abilities, deny their children's opinions, refuse their children's requests, and tie their children's hands and feet. In homeschooling, this kind"To the old despise the small"The way of nurturing and educating is widespread. It is highlighted that parents always look at their children from their own perspective; Always look at the child with the eyes of the first; Always use the standard of ** to ask the child. As a result, parents only know how to respect themselves, but do not know how to respect their children; only know how to blame the child, but do not know that some are problems in the child's growth; I only know the high standards and strict requirements, but I don't know the appropriate age, characteristics and abilities of the child. For example, when a child makes a mistake, we often treat the child with an attitude that will never forgive, do not analyze the reasons for the child's mistake, and only focus on the consequences caused by the child; is not just talking about things, but scolding children; You can't tolerate mistakes and correct mistakes, but criticize the child for nothing. The result is that the child is criticized, but after the child is criticized, it often appears"I know what is wrong but I don't know what is wrong, and I want to change but I don't know what to change"。What's more, sometimes the mistakes made by children are growing problems, far less serious and bad.
I would like to tell parents a word from their hearts, that is, to look at and deal with their children's problems, we must stand in the perspective and height of their children"Observe"。If we are from the perspective of parents, you get what is parental"Vision";If you look at children with the eyes of **, you are denying their development; If you measure your child by the standard of **, you will lower their self-confidence. In fact, children are children, they are in the process of growth and development after all, and this growth is a gradual process. Parents need to give enough time, give a broad space, and give them many opportunities to broaden their horizons, fill their minds, and enrich their experience. I remember reading an American child's admonition to their parents:"Our eyes don't see the world as much as you do. Please let me observe everything slowly on my own, and hope that you are not overly restrictive"。Savor it carefully, although this sentence comes from the mouth of an American child, the problems he reflects are also common in China, and it is very similar to the truth reflected and reflected in the painting "Accompanying My Mother on the Street" mentioned above. Children's vision is so big, there are so many things to see, do we parents realize this?
Child's eyes"Height"Decided theirs"world"！Only by knowing the height of the child's eyes can we use the child's eyes to see the problem, think about the problem and deal with the problem. Of course, this height represents the child's age, the child's ability, and the child's understanding. If the adults don't squat down and don't put their eyes at the same level as the children's eyes to see the world, you won't be able to read the children anyway. Therefore, parents must not always bow their heads when educating their children"Look"It is best to put your child's eyes on them from time to time"Height"Feel the child's vision, so that you and the child can have an equal communication, so that you can know the child, understand the child, and treat the child well.
If the premise of educating children well is to understand children, then the premise of understanding children is to put your eyes on the height of children's eyes to look at children. Therefore, if you want to educate your child well, you should first understand the height of the child's eyes. Only in this way can parents and children establish a recognized, interactive and friendly parent-child relationship, and can they receive the best educational results.