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The wife and her husband quarreled, and the wife wanted to take her son back to her parents' house for the New Year in a fit of anger, but the son said that she wouldn't go, and the wife suddenly said angrily: "Rabbit cub, why don't you go to grandma's house?" Doesn't Grandma hurt you? ”
I only heard my son crying aggrievedly: "Grandma loves me very much, but grandma's mobile phone is not smart."
One day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming, "How old are you?" ”
Xiao Ming said: "I am five years old. ”
The teacher asked again, "Then how old is your father?" ”
Xiao Ming thought for a while and said, "Dad is also five years old. ”
The teacher said, "Think about it again, how old is your father?" ”
Xiao Ming said: "He has been a father since the day I was born, and he is now exactly five years old. ”
Waiting for my girlfriend in the square today, I saw a beggar. I saw that everyone else was throwing money into the basin in front of him, so I threw a cigarette into his basin in a joking mind. Who knew that he looked up and said to me: "Brother still you understand me, the business is too good to leave, so I took a fifty card to me, brother went to buy two packs, one pack per person." I'm left alone in the cold wind!
A teacher asks a student in class, "Can anyone tell me why whales don't get lost in the forest?" A little boy raised his hand and replied, "Because the whales are too fat to go into the forest!" ”
A gentleman goes to the barbershop to get a haircut, and the barber asks him what kind of hairstyle he wants. The gentleman replied, "I wish I could have a haircut that doesn't make me look very smart." The barber asked, confused, "Why?" The gentleman replied, "Because I have just changed to a new job, I don't want my colleagues to find out that I am up to the job too quickly." ”
I was learning to drive and get a driver's license, but the instructor was grumpy. He scolded at every turn, saying that I can't do this, that I can't, and I can't say things like that after saying so many times.
Today, the coach scolded and suddenly stopped scolding, I think he must have learned something, which made the coach very satisfied.
After a while, the coach looked at me and said weakly, "You're still the first person to make me feel motion sickness." ”
A little boy asked Mr. "Teacher, last night I saw a blind man walking with a lantern." He obviously can't see, what's the use of lighting a lantern? The gentleman replied: If he is afraid that others will not be able to see the road clearly, this is Confucianism. If he is afraid that others will bump into him, this is the Mo family. If he thinks that walking at night requires the lamp to go with the flow, this is Taoism. If he uses this to teach sentient beings, this is Buddhism. If you pretend to be blind when you can see it, this is a politician. If he is really blind, but he walks at night with a lamp to show people the way, this is an expert.
In the summer of June, I took the bus with my sister to the park to play, because there were too many people on the bus, my sister opened the window a little, and an old man about 50 next to him yelled fiercely: "I can't blow the wind." ”…Bang, and then shut the window.
My sister was not happy with his attitude at that time, and replied angrily: "You are ashes, you will be scattered if you blow it......”
The whole car laughed!
Last night, my buddy called and said that his girlfriend was going to break up with him, and his heart was very messy and he didn't know how to keep it.
I asked him, "What did she say?" ”
After he hung up, he copied his girlfriend's text message: I like you, but I'm so tired.
I told him to reply: I don't know how much you like me, but I like you enough for me to do anything for you.
After a while, he texted his girlfriend again and asked me to teach him how to reply.
We talked like this for an hour, he didn't send any more texts, and I went to sleep. When I woke up in the middle of the night and found that my wife had come back from overtime, she took my mobile phone and saw the message sent today, looking at me with eyes that she had never seen before, feeling like she was going to kill me, I quickly explained: "It's not as ...... as you imagined."”
You don't get divorced without making it clear......”
Woo woo woo, brother, you better come back and persuade my daughter-in-law first!
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