My relationship with him has always been in a state of ambiguity. We are not pure friends or lovers. When we meet, we are intimate couples, but when we don't, we are strangers. This ambiguous sense of distance was confusing and painful, but there was nothing I could do about it.
We met by chance. I was at the lowest point in my life and depressed. His presence brought me a little warmth and comfort. We started chatting and sharing each other's lives and feelings. Gradually, our relationship became closer and closer. We watched movies together, went shopping together, went out to eat together, and traveled together. I feel very happy and satisfied when I am around him.
However, our relationship has not yet been publicly acknowledged. We always met in private, and I didn't dare to express my feelings in public. This mean feeling makes me very uncomfortable. I wish I could open up to him, but there are always plenty of reasons why he can't open up to me.
Still, I chose to be with him. I told myself that it was my choice and that I would take care of everything for him. Our relationship is still contradictory, but I'm getting used to it.
But as time went on, I started to feel more and more pain. I realized that our relationship wasn't what I wanted. I'm looking for someone who can accept me sincerely, someone who can look forward to the future with me. But he always let me down.
Eventually, I decided to end the relationship. I told him that this could not continue and that I needed a clear answer. He was silent for a moment, then said he didn't want to do it anymore. He said he loved me but couldn't give me the life I wanted. He wants me to find a better person, someone who can give me happiness.
Listening to his words, I felt a tingling sensation in my heart. I know he's right that there is no future in our relationship. I silently broke up with him and started a new life.
Now I have found someone who truly loves me and gives me happiness. I know I made the right choice. That ambiguous relationship used to make me miserable, but at the same time, it also made me grow a lot. I learned how to protect my boundaries and how to cherish the people who truly love me.
The ambiguous distance is both beautiful and sad. It makes you feel the sweetness and warmth of love, but it also makes you feel the powerlessness and pain of love. But no matter what, we should be brave enough to face our emotions and make the right choices. Because only in this way can we find happiness that is truly our own.