February** Dynamic Incentive Program
There is a rule in hell that whoever harms someone on earth will be drowned in the blood of the victim.
One time God went to Hell to inspect and found that the blood had only soaked into Beria's legs. God was strange and asked Beria: "You have killed so many people, how can the blood only soak in the legs?" ”
Beria replied: "Because I stand on the shoulders of the great leader Stalin!" ”
The USSR ** announced an ambitious plan to create the first farm on the moon in order to demonstrate the incomparable success of the collective agricultural commune.
Astronauts, scientists, and a handful of farmers took potato seeds and other crops to the moon. As soon as they landed, they began to try to plant, but soon found that it was impossible to grow anything on the moon.
Half a year later, the leadership of the planet received a report from the moon. Despite the difficult conditions, Soviet farmers have managed to grow the first potatoes on the moon, the report says.
The leadership was very happy and immediately held a press conference to announce this great achievement. One reporter asked, "Can we see and eat these lunar potatoes?" ”
A Soviet cadre was responsible for the construction of a reservoir. Before starting construction, he traveled to several countries to study.
He visited a newly built reservoir in Japan, found that there was no water in the dam, and asked, "Where is the water?" "It's the dry season, and the water will be full on June 17, when the rainy season arrives," the Japanese explained. ”
He visited a newly built reservoir in Egypt and found that there was no water in the dam, and asked the same question: "Where is the water?" The Egyptian replied lightly: "We have built ten new reservoirs upstream, so this one is out of water." ”
A year later, when I heard that the reservoir in the Soviet Union had been built, the Japanese and Egyptians came to visit it, and found that there was no water in the dam either, and asked curiously: "Where is the water?"
Pointing to the luxury villas next to the reservoir and the expensive cars parked in front of the gate, the Soviet cadres said: "The water is here." ”
* Answer: "It's a pity that our comrades on the moon told us that because the Americans opened fast food restaurants on the moon, the potatoes they grow are all ** given to the Americans to fry potato chips, and they are in short supply." ”
At an economic conference, a young party member dared to criticize the current economic policy.
A ** sitting on the rostrum interrupted him and said sharply: "Comrade, do you know who you are criticizing? Our policy was drawn up by Comrade Stalin! ”
The young party member replied: "Of course I know, but may I ask you, when these policies fail, you senior **will **?"
The senior ** was silent for a while, and then said: "Comrade, when the time comes, it will be a big deal for us to sit in your place, and you, tomorrow, will go to Siberia." ”
A father asked his three children: "Who do you think is the happiest person in our great Soviet Union?" ”
The eldest son said: "It is the workers, because they have created the wealth of the country and the invincible army." ”
"No, it's the farmers, because they work hard to cultivate the fertile land and provide us with plenty of food," the daughter said. ”
The youngest son said, "I think it's the teachers because they have the knowledge and can enlighten our wisdom. ”
The father sighed softly: "Children, you must remember that in the USSR the happiest people were the KGB, because only they knew what would happen tomorrow. ”
A citizen went to the hospital to see a doctor.
The doctor examined him and said, "Good news, you don't have any disease." ”
The citizen asked, "Then why do I feel so bad?" ”
The doctor replied, "Because our medical equipment has not been updated for ten years, it can only diagnose your physical condition ten years ago." ”
A citizen's parrot ran away.
Restless, he suddenly thought of something, and hurriedly ran to the KGB headquarters, saying that he and the neighbor's parrots were lost, they looked exactly the same, and they liked to talk about *** It is very dangerous and must be found immediately.
The KGB ** attached great importance to it, but felt curious: "Then how do we know, which is your parrot?" ”
The townsman replied: "Quite simply, if the parrot says long live Stalin, it must be mine; If it says that Stalin went to hell, it must have been that of my neighbor Ivan. ”
A large-scale rally is underway, and the masses have expressed their best wishes and heartfelt wishes to leaders at all levels. They first shouted to the top leadership: "Our great Soviet leader, always wise!" Always wise! Always wise! ”
Then they shouted at the local leaders: "Our mayor, usually right!" Usually correct! Usually correct! ”
Finally, they shouted at the town leader, "Our mayor, once in a while, is right!" Occasionally, yes! Occasionally, yes! ”
An old farmer whispered to his neighbor, "Hehe, our mayor doesn't even know how to bring an umbrella on a rainy day." ”
The neighbor replied, "When it's not raining, he doesn't bring it, does he?" ”
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