At noon today, our family sat around and ate happily as usual.
Just as my children and I were eating with relish, I suddenly heard my husband yell: "Mom, don't pretend anymore, stop acting, okay." ”
Before I could figure out the situation, my mother-in-law began to cry quietly.
As the saying goes, "The New Year is not over until the fifteenth year." ”
Fifteen has not yet arrived, and the relatives at home are almost gone, and everyone has a job, but they can't help themselves.
My husband and I decided to stay with my mother-in-law for one more day and return tomorrow.
The mother-in-law muttered: "You are all gone, there are still so many vegetables left at home, it's a pity to spoil them." ”
My husband didn't say a word, rolled up his sleeves, and began to clean up.
He gathered all the leftovers and leftovers in one place and stewed a hodgepodge.
Seeing the mess in the pot, the child was still a little resistant and didn't want to eat, so after we talked and coaxed, the child was willing to pick up the dishes and chopsticks and start eating.
After taking a bite, the child exclaimed: "Ah, Dad, this dish you made is so delicious, it is so fragrant, I want to eat two bowls." ”
Seeing the child's happy appearance, I also began to eat the dishes in my bowl with confidence, and I didn't notice my mother-in-law's movements.
Knowing the mother Mo Ruozi", the husband has been paying attention to the behavior of his mother-in-law.
When the mother-in-law heard that her precious grandson liked to eat, she immediately put down the bowl in her hand, then went to the cupboard and got a new bowl and put a spoonful of vegetable soup in the pot.
In this way, the mother-in-law began to eat the steamed bun with dipping vegetable soup.
Seeing his own mother like this, her husband suddenly became angry.
He raised his hand and snatched the steamed bun from his mother-in-law's hand, and said angrily, "Mom, what are you doing here?" There are still vegetables in the pot, what are you eating vegetable soup for? ”
The mother-in-law pointed to the child and said, "I see that Haohao (son's nickname) likes to eat, but I am afraid that there will not be enough vegetables, so I keep it for the child." I'm not hungry, just eat some. ”
My husband's tone was very firm: "If there are more dishes, everyone will eat more, and if there are fewer dishes, everyone will eat less." You haven't eaten much in the morning, so won't you be hungry at this time? You don't act, you can't do it, you can eat if you want, don't think about children. The child is so old, he should feel sorry for his grandmother, you will spoil him like this! ”
The mother-in-law felt that she was kind, but she was not understood by her son, and she was reprimanded by her son.
She felt both aggrieved and ashamed in her heart, and then began to sobble in a low voice.
A good meal, but everyone couldn't eat it.
@柳闻溪
This practice of mother-in-law is all too common in Chinese families.
Contemporary netizens call this practice of parents "".Masochistic givingThat is, sacrificing oneself for the sake of the child.
One of the things that parents have on their lips is:
I'm not hungry, I can't eat, you eat;
I only like to eat fish heads, not fish meat;
I don't like them, give them all to you.
As long as the child likes it, parents can not hesitate to give up what they have and give it all to their children.
This kind of sacrifice of parents seems to be great, and they think about their children wholeheartedly.
However, we also found that this kind of dedication of parents is actually very wrenched, and even reveals the strangeness of inconsistent words and deeds.
They keep saying that as long as the child is good, everything is fine.
If children really pursue a "good" life, their twists will be revealed.
When a child gets on an airplane for the first time and excitedly shows his parents a high-altitude scene;
When a child eats a big meal for the first time and happily shows delicious food to his parents;
When a child climbs a mountain for the first time and excitedly shows his parents the beautiful scenery from the top of the mountain;
Parents often reply not with appreciation, encouragement and support, but with a weird sentence: I haven't even sat and eaten, and you are really willing to spend money.
Who doesn't like good things, parents are also people, they don't like it, but they suppress their own liking.
Sooner or later, the suppressed emotions will be vented, and in the end, what will be exchanged for the children's ingratitude will be obtained.
The son in the text will be angry when he sees his mother's behavior of "dipping vegetable soup", because the mother's doing so is tantamount to turning her identity into a victim and a devotee, so as to occupy the moral high ground, then the son is naturally the perpetrator.
This is moral kidnapping, and the son can't refute it, otherwise he will be said by his mother to be unfilial, ungrateful, and ignorant.
The question is, who asked you to "dip the vegetable soup", it was you who took the initiative, and it was not forced by everyone, no wonder your son is so angry.
The result of "masochistic giving" is: selfish children, screwed parents, and hypocritical families.
So, please parents, stop it!