In the TV series "It's All Good", a typical example is shown of the influence of parents' favoritism and unfair distribution of their children in a family. The mother is patriarchal, and has been particularly concerned about her eldest son since she was a child, but she does not treat her younger daughter well. She thinks that her son is the pillar of support, and her daughter will only "lose money". However, after the early death of his mother, he was left behind with a father who was "strict with his wife", and found that he could not do anything about the pillar he expected, and the youngest daughter who was originally left out became a corporate executive, with money and ability, and became his support for the elderly. In fact, many families face a similar situation, where pampered children tend to grow up unfilial, while children who are left out perform even better. Why is that? The reasons for this can be analyzed from the following aspects.
First of all, the love of parents will inevitably be partial. In a family with many children, parents tend to favor their children more and treat them as their own flesh. However, in real life, parents' love for different children is uneven. As Xin Qiji said in the lyrics: "I like the child to die, and the brook is lying on the lotus bed", which means that parents tend to spoil the youngest child more when taking care of their children. This phenomenon exists in both ancient and modern China and abroad. The love of parents is not uniform, and even in the case of limited material conditions, they will pour limited resources into their most beloved children. Therefore, children who are not pampered grow up to pay more attention to their own efforts, because they know that it is useless to please their parents, so they focus on their own development and the improvement of their abilities, forming a more independent and confident personality.
Secondly, children who are accustomed to being pampered by their parents tend to be dependent and weak. They are accustomed to the pampering and care of their parents, and lack exercise in their independent thinking and problem-solving skills. This dependence and weakness put them at a disadvantage in social competition, and it is difficult for them to perform well. On the contrary, children who are not pampered tend to be more autonomous and self-reliant due to their lack of support, they do not rely on the approval and support of others, but are more focused on their own efforts and progress. This sense of independence and the cultivation of abilities make it easier for them to stand out in society.
The example of Li Ao can serve as a vivid illustration. As a child, Li Ao was not favored in the family, and his mother liked his younger brother even more. However, as an adult, his younger brother became too dependent on his mother and sent his mother to Li Ao's daughter to raise him. This stark disparate result suggests that pampered children do not necessarily reciprocate their parents' nurturing kindness, while neglected children can become their spiritual support and financial support. This makes people lament the selfishness of their parents.
Preference between parents is also a common phenomenon. Parents are not judges, and they have their own preferences and weaknesses. For example, if a child is beautiful, smart, and excellent, it will often cause the bias of the parents. However, this preference is not necessarily for the expectation of the child's future returns, but more for the happiness of the present. Therefore, "cuteness" often becomes a killer feature for children, and those who are likable can often easily win the favor of their parents. However, for children who have been left out, the grievances and sadness they experience will be even deeper. Especially when they are young, the scars left behind will be more serious, and it is a kind of trauma for them.
Sometimes, pampered children will also grow up to be unfilial. This may be because they received too much love and attention when they were growing up, causing them to lack reverence and respect for their parents. They may take their parents' love for them for granted and don't need anything in return. This mentality often leads to their indifference and lack of concern for their parents, and more concern for their own interests and pleasures. However, children who are not pampered will cherish the emotions and affection of their families more after experiencing neglect and grievances, and they will work harder to repay their parents' nurturing grace and become their support in old age.
In this case, children who are left out often harbor resentment and grievances. They may have been hoping for love and approval from their parents, but they are often disappointed. However, resentment and grievances do not change the facts of the past, nor can they change the attitude of parents. So, for these children, the only thing they can do is accept and let go. The grievances and sadness of the past can only be borne by oneself, and parents cannot be expected to make up for it. Therefore, they need to learn to be self-reliant, to let go and let go slowly. It is also a process of growth and education, and parents should adopt a better attitude and approach to their children to avoid leaving them with regrets and pain.
All in all, parents' preference and unfair distribution of their children are common, but it does not mean that children who are left out will always be unfilial. On the contrary, they tend to work harder and excel and become the support of their parents. Pampered children tend to be prone to dependence and weakness, and they are at a disadvantage in social competition. However, the relationship between children is not one-way, and the influence of parents on their children also depends on the child's personality and inner qualities. As parents, we should give our children more love and happiness, instead of causing them more pain and injustice.