Hi, everyone, I'm Xiaohua Hua, a post-85 mother who is working full-time as a self-a**.
Today is the 93rd day of my full-time self-**, and some time ago I was chatting in a self-** group, and I mentioned a word: high worthiness. The so-called high deserving is a word in psychology, also called a sense of qualification, which is actually to believe that you can be worthy and deserve the best in the world.
01 has a low sense of worthiness, and always feels that "I am not worthy".Some time ago, I had nothing to do with "Mao Xuewang", because I like Li Xueqin and Mao Buyi very much, and there is an issue where Yang Tianzhen came to be a guest:
When mentioning that she only has 30 days off a year and will firmly grasp it as long as she has a job, Li Xueqin said: "I don't have any sense of security about my job, and it's not that I only have this for work, and I am ready to lose everything, including relationships, at any time." ”
Yang Tianzhen: "I don't think your whole person is worthy enough." ”
I suddenly felt that Li Xueqin was another me, since I was a child, I have always been a very inferior person, probably because my mother's repressive education when I was a child has a certain relationship.
I had never been in a relationship before college, and I always felt that in our school, where the ratio of men to women was 1:7, how could I be worthy of falling in love with such a terrible person.
Later, when I started working, even when my work was recognized, I still had a strong sense of unreality.
Some time ago, I interviewed teenagers, and when I received the interview invitation, I deeply thought: how can I be worthy of such a big company. So I was very unconfident and participated in the interview, thinking that I would definitely not be able to pass anyway. The final result, of course, was not passed.
In the movie "The Life of the Disgusted Matsuko", Matsuko said: "I am sorry to be a human being. Matsuko, who has been neglected since childhood, feels that he is not even worthy of life.
In the movie, Matsuko's parents focus all their attention on her frail sister, and Matsuko can only make her parents know about her existence by making a grimace. 
Even when he grows up, he still maintains this posture of pleasing others. TV series "Please Answer 1988", Deshan in the play, because she is the second in the family, she is often the one forgotten by her parents, burning coal at home, because of insufficient ventilation, the family almost suffered carbon monoxide poisoning, and her parents recited their sister and brother respectively, but forgot Deshan. Deshan said: "Why doesn't anyone like me, it seems that I don't deserve to be loved".
02People with a high sense of worthiness can get more
Before I resumed updating this ***, I had been close to a year, and I didn't write because I felt that I didn't write well, and then I lost some of the fans that I had accumulated before. If I don't do it, everyone won't take it off.
It wasn't until the end of October 2023 that I began to try to restore the update, try to change to a new positioning, and began to express myself bravely, and slowly I also began to influence some people.
There is a theory of "self-fulfilling prophecy" in psychology, which refers to the fact that people will unconsciously act according to their own prophecy, and eventually let things happen in the direction of the prophecy.
In fact, the prophecy mentioned here is a judgment of one's own "worthiness", people with a low "worthiness" generally think that they are not worthy of good things, and those with a high "worthiness" think that I am worthy of the best in the world.
Just like when I went to interview teenagers some time ago, I always felt that I didn't deserve it, and the final result was naturally not passed.
Winter Olympic champion Gu Ailing changed her strategy after the first two jumps and chose to challenge difficult moves on the third jump during the ski competition at the Beijing Winter Olympics. This choice not only allowed her to win the gold medal, but also won the love and praise of more people.
"I want more teenagers to break their boundaries and become the best version of themselves," she said. ”
Therefore, you see, believing that you deserve better and pursuing higher goals is the spiritual energy that "high worthiness" brings to a person.
03 How to have a "high sense of worthiness".
Psychologically, I deserve all the good things in the world
Psychological suggestion is especially useful, often suggesting to yourself that "you are the best, you deserve all the good in this world".
Accept the praise of others generously, and tell yourself that this is what you have worked hard to get;
Be brave enough to accept challenges, cheer yourself on, and tell yourself that you can do it;
When you meet someone you like, fight for it boldly and tell yourself that you are worth it;
In short, believe in yourself, you are worthy of all the good things in this world.
Stop comparing yourself to others
Actually, I am a person who likes to compare myself with others, but then I slowly realized that everyone is different, we just need to live our own lives and don't care about others.
Everyone is an independent individual, everyone's living environment is different, rather than having time to compare themselves with others, it is better to strive to improve themselves.
People with a high sense of worthiness never care about other people's eyes, let alone compare with others.
Anne Hathaway, who was once bullied online, was also very painful not to be liked by others, but then she slowly changed herself, no longer cared about others, and finally lived her own life.
Don't skimp on your own rewards
When you accomplish something yourself, don't be stingy with rewarding yourself. You have to remember that you deserve it.
For example, this month I achieved the goal set at the beginning of the month, and I could reward myself for going to a movie, or buying a bouquet of flowers, or buying myself a small gift.
People with a high sense of worthiness will always feel that they are worthy.
Well, let's share these today, and may each of us become a person with a "high sense of worthiness", and you deserve all the good things in this world.