Deal with your emotions before making a decision

Mondo Psychological Updated on 2024-02-02

At the beginning of the year, I set a great goal that moved me, but in the middle of the year, I found that the gap with reality was so huge, and at the end of the year, I found that the goal achievement rate was far less than 60%. Is this a mirror of the goals you set? If yes, then you must have forgotten the importance of "dealing with your emotions first"!

Are you an emotional person, or a rational person?"I asked this question in a training session for the company, and the answer on the spot was about 50 50, and the other part of the people said that it depends. Then I asked, "Do you think you are a rational decision-maker or an emotional decision-maker?"Not surprisingly, more than 90% of people answered that they make rational decisions. So, dear reader, do you think you are a rational decision-maker or an emotional decision-maker?Not surprisingly, the world's universal principles expect us to make rational decisions. But in fact, each of us is an emotional decision-maker. To put it more accurately, we are all decision-makers of cognitive preferences!

As small as which hand to brush your teeth with in the morning and which leg to stick into your pants first; As large as our judgment portfolio, career planning, and interpersonal relationships are a series of cognitive preference models. If this still doesn't convince you, you might as well think again: Is there always a similar person in life, a similar relationship model, and the same reason for breaking up?At work, I changed from company A to company B, and I felt that my hard power had grown a lot, but I always muttered: "Why is my boss xxx and my colleague ooo?"."It seems that I have changed the workplace and runway, but the problems encountered are very differentThe behavioral choices under these cognitive preferences can be described by another term, and that is "habit". I drink no less than one iced Americano every day, so when I wake up in the morning, the os that comes to my mind is, "I want a glass of iced Americano." ""I want" is an idea, "Have a glass of iced Americano" is an action, but I haven't done it yet. The verbs that drive this decision are nothing more than "definitely", "want" and "need", and in the end, we choose one or more emotions to complete the decision. For example, I didn't sleep well yesterday and I'm tired and need an iced American to wake up, or I'm feeling down today and I need to smell coffee to wake up my body. Reason and sensibility coexist at the same time, they are not dichotomous, but there is still more sensibility than reason. Therefore, we can know that "there are emotions and preferences, and people can make judgments." Conclusion. Also, in the brain's preset mode, we are not "because (it has happened)....So ( I respond )....Rather, "in view of the past (I have experienced patterns)....So ( I predict this will be the case reaction )....Because ......(An event that I guess but probably hasn't happened yet). Seeing this, I understand very well that you will feel a little dizzy, so let's make a small summary at this stage. Emotions are cognitive interpretations of situations, and the brain relies on emotions (sensibility) to make final decisions.

Seeing this, I think we have to admit that we are not as rational as we imagined, and absolutely rational decision-making does not actually exist. So do we always have to make decisions emotionally and irrationally?In fact, since sensibility and reason are not dichotomy, we can also make good use of each other's characteristics. The appeal behind sensibility is emotional demand. If we want to use rationality to the fullest, we have to ask ourselves before making a decision: "Is my emotional state satisfied?" At this point, you may wonder, "But I don't think I'm emotional. Or, "I don't have any emotions?"Indeed, you may feel this way, but in fact you have chosen to suppress or control these emotions, or you may not have recognized them. At this time, you can first write down the decision options you want to make at the moment, and analyze the demands behind them.

Take the example of I want to drink iced Americano :

I want to drink ice American, and when I drink it, I will "feel" how ......

I want to drink iced Americano, and if I don't drink it, I will "feel" how ......Next.

Step asked: "What is the reason for this feeling?"”

Didn't sleep well ......(So I'm feeling restless).

Mood troughs ......(So I don't feel like there's kinetic energy).

Too much pressure ......(So I want to take a breath).

When we first analyze the feelings of possibility, the rational brain can play its specialty: analysis, organization, decision-making, and it is possible that what I need is a good rest, not a cup of coffee!Please allow yourself to take care of your emotions before making decisions. Bless yourself in 2024 and find the way of rational self-justification in the torrent of sensuality.

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