In the psychiatric department, I often hear many parents complaining: "Children are obviously very well-behaved when they are young, how can they suffer from mental illness when they grow up?" ”
"Well-behaved and sensible" is the praise of parents and adults for children.
In the process of children's growth, adults are always accustomed to using "good" to evaluate the quality of children. In life, many parents want their children to listen to themselves and live their lives according to their own wishes. Therefore, children are often taught from an early age: "You have to be obedient, and you will be obedient, and if you are disobedient, you will be."
However, are the so-called "good children" in the mouths of parents really happy?
A netizen once shared his experience:
When she was a child, her parents often said to her: "It's not easy for adults to make money, you have to be sensible, don't ask for things casually and spend money blindly." ”
Therefore, in order to cater to the requirements and expectations of her elders, she learned to restrain her desires from an early age and forced herself to be an "obedient and good child". When you see your favorite toy in the mall, you will quietly look away and pretend not to see it; When I see other children playing happily in the playground, I will turn around silently and pretend not to play; When you see your favorite snack in the supermarket, you will secretly swallow your saliva and pretend not to eat it.
However, this "sensible" did not make her happy, but made her more and more inferior.
When she grew up, she learned to weigh the pros and cons of the world too early, and was used to paying attention to the feelings of others and ignoring her own wishes, which led to an unsatisfactory life now, and even some psychological problems.
Why is it that the more well-behaved children are when they grow up, the more likely they are to be troubled by psychological problems when they grow up?
Xie Fan, director of Beijing Junyi Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital, often encounters such cases when receiving treatments:
Many children who are very well-behaved and obedient from an early age always lead their lives by satisfying the wishes of others when they grow up, desperately trying to make themselves likable, excessively suppressing themselves, and gradually developing an inferiority complex and sensitive character, resulting in a long-term backlog of negative emotions in their hearts, and eventually suffering from depression, anxiety and other psychological disorders.
Therefore, relatively speaking, many people's mental illness has a lot to do with some extreme behaviors, personalities, and experiences in childhood.
Because of this, children who are more well-behaved and sensible from an early age tend to be more prone to psychological problems when they grow up.
We can't reverse time, and childhood experiences can't be changed, so how do "good children" self-** in adulthood?
1.The most important thing is the need to consciously complete and ** yourself.
When you accept your mistakes, accept your imperfections, and when your life is unsatisfactory, don't blame yourself for your failures, reject your inner "criticism", calm down and think seriously and face it positively, pay attention to your inner feelings, and learn to express your true emotions.
2.If negative emotions have taken a serious toll on your life and are not improving after self-regulation, it is best to consult a psychiatrist as soon as possible, who will use their expertise to help you get rid of the psychological disorder.
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