The self-expression of parents in the New Year's reunion dinner? An in-depth analysis of family relationships!
Parents know that the relationship between their children is not good, but also force their children to eat Chinese New Year's Eve, this is for a reason: parents want to show themselves as leaders, if subordinates cannot get together on Chinese New Year's Eve to maintain a semblance of stability and unity, it will be too humiliating; When children are together, they are still leaders, and children are the ones who are most likely to work with them.
In China, disharmony between children is often caused by unhealthy projections from parents, who unconsciously do not want their children to get along, worry that their children are too close, that they are afraid that their children will be abandoned, and that when there is a conflict between children, they may become an ally of one of the children, so as not to be abandoned on an illusory level.
Let's take an example. My aunt has two children: the eldest son is a well-to-do family and has been self-supporting since he was a child. The youngest son is from a poor family and lives with his parents. One day, the youngest son got married. She didn't have much money, and when she saw that her youngest son was doing well, she asked him for a sum of money.
The eldest son found that although his parents did not support him, they even asked for money, which made him very unhappy, he didn't want to give, but he was angry, and it was inevitable that he would say some angry words, saying that his son was a laugh for eating soft rice.
However, the mother of the eldest son immediately told the younger son, and the result was predictable, and the two quarreled and even fought. If the eldest mother wanted to maintain unity, she would not pass the word, but the eldest mother could not come up with the money, so she naturally opposed the eldest son. At this time, the eldest mother had to pull the younger son as an ally and stand on the same side as the eldest mother. With a common enemy, the two sons became estranged.
There are more naïve parents who speak ill of B in front of child A, and say bad things about A in front of child B, creating conflicts between children, and then children will unconsciously move closer to their parents, but oppose each other, so that, at least at the level of fantasy, parents will not be abandoned by their children.
The same goes for parents, as they also suffered in childhood. Parents subconsciously fear abandonment simply because they also experienced abandonment when they were growing up. The subconscious mind is not controlled by the conscious mind and is difficult to detect on a conscious level. For example, parents want their children to get along, but they may unconsciously do things that cause conflict in their children.
Jung emphasized that the subconscious mind determines the fate of human beings, and that everyone's actions are involuntary if they are not controlled by their level of consciousness.