A book that is very attractive as soon as you hear the title of the book, "The days are staggering, we are steady". As the title of the book says, our days are always full of "surprises", and sometimes these "surprises" are not what we want, but sometimes they are real surprises. This is probably what is called staggering.
Stumbling is the norm for most couples, there are quarrels, problems, different opinions, and decisions that need to be negotiated, and these common days often need us to spend together.
Those couples who seem to be extremely affectionate, they also have their own troubles, but when there is a problem, they know how to use the right way to make their lives more stable and their feelings sweeter.
And the book "The days are staggering, but we are steady" is such a book that teaches us how to have high-quality intimate relationships.
The author believes that there should be a "bank account" in an intimate relationship, and only by increasing the source of money can the love of this account continue to increase.
Throttling is to not consume each other in an intimate relationship, let alone each other's love. The love and trust that exists in the account are limited, and if you don't know how to throttle, then these love and trust will be exhausted, and eventually, the intimate relationship will collapse.
So, how do we throttle?
The book starts with the six toxins in intimate relationships.
These six toxins are very common in the daily life of couples, including criticism and accusation, ridicule and contempt, self-justification, cold war escape, refusal to repair, and malicious interpretation.
Seeing these toxins, many people feel very familiar, thinking that the author is just sleeping under your bed and peeking at your married life.
Many times, we don't notice that these toxins are slowly destroying our marriage and poisoning our original love.
We will summarize these toxins as personality mismatches and inability to get along. But is that really the case?
Actually, it's not like that, it's hard to change personality, but the way we communicate can change. As long as we pay a little attention, feel the other person's feelings, and understand the other person's purpose, we can avoid problems.
For example, criticism and accusation. When encountering problems, some people habitually blame them as the first place. For example, if you accidentally break a cup, will your partner accuse you of being so careless first, or will you care about whether you are injured or not first, and comfort you at the first time?
The author has his own interpretation and life examples of each toxin, and you will see your own shadow in it, and you will also reflect on your daily life from it.
When we understand these toxins that harm intimacy, we know why couples are getting farther and farther apart.
Why is there such a difference in the way men and women communicate? Only by understanding this difference will men and women understand each other and know better how to communicate with each other, so as to achieve the goal of throttling and create a good intimate relationship without internal friction.
In addition to throttling, the author is more from open sources to elaborate on the abundance of our love accounts.
There are many ways to open source, to express love, appreciation and gratitude, to respect and acceptance, and to respond positively and deeply connect with couples.
The book has specific operation methods for these open source methods, and even specific operation matters, so that every reader who wants to improve the intimate relationship can choose the method that suits them.
As long as there is a determination to change, according to the way in the book, there will be a reward.
If your intimate relationship needs first aid, then this book is just right.