I've reached the stage where I can't tell people about my age casually, but according to the growth period of my life, I am still young, and according to my personality and experience, there are not a few suitors of the same age, but for some reason, nothing good has come to fruition.
The boys concluded that I just like men who are much older than themselves. Originally, I was very dismissive of this statement. But one day, my mother suddenly said coldly: Aren't all your classmates very good, just pick any one, but don't look for someone who is too old! I was really surprised by this, could this really be some kind of subconscious that I didn't even feel myself?
All the way with friends of the same age, it is nothing more than knocking on each other's bamboo poles to eat big meals, occasionally singing, climbing mountains, bubble bars, and making some innocuous jokes. If you don't see each other for a long time, you will miss it a little, and if you see it frequently, you will feel annoyed. I liked them, but I didn't have that kind of attachment or affection for any of them. We're all the way, it seems, just for fun and fun. If everyone lives a day without doing anything along the way, it will be so scary to think about it.
And the first afternoon I had with nothing to do but was with a "big brother". He is British, more than 20 years older than me, and has traveled many countries. We are familiar with each other because of our work, and we have developed contacts because of our work. That day, when we all had time to spare, he offered to find a quiet place to sit, and we found a seat in a small café on the side of the road. Two cups of coffee, two books, the two of them didn't say anything, but they spontaneously entered the world of discernment. He just refills my glass from time to time, and doesn't say much. But when the sunset shines out of the window, I suddenly feel more relieved and comfortable than I have ever felt before, and I can't help but stretch. He looked at me tenderly and just said, "Are you hungry?" Craving something to eat?
At that moment, I was touched by something that I had never experienced before.
I feel the urge to love older people of the opposite sex more easily, not because I am adored by their experience, but precisely because the "big brothers" I have met are extremely gentlemanly and patient and detailed. Compared to boys of the same age, they care more about the feelings of others and are more capable of handling interactions with others, rather than talking about themselves and probably munching on them. The hairy lads are of course cute, but they're more suitable as playmates in my life, or even close friends, but they're definitely not love objects.
I don't know how more girls my age understand the word "love". For me, the feeling of love is safe, warm, harmonious and sweet. Like many girls and sons, I longed to be sheltered, pampered, and feared being depressed and hurt.
Because my parents were very busy with work, I was forced to start living independently at a very young age. Not to mention laundry, cooking, and tidying up the room, it is easy for me to repair electrical appliances and install wall cabinets with impact drills, so much so that a girl who lives with me says that he doesn't need to find a boyfriend to live with me all the way.
**Ten Thousand Fans Incentive Plan In this situation, it seems that in the face of ordinary emotions and people, it is difficult for me to turn my mind to the meaning of "love" for a while: life does not seem to lack anything, there is no need for pillars, and there is no desire for lovers. Neither my former classmates nor my current colleagues felt a sweet and warm touch, and I really didn't feel familiar anymore. A colleague said that what touched me the most was actually a feeling of being "covered" psychologically. It cannot be explained by actions, it can only be annotated as a spiritual pleasure. Sometimes it's a piercing sentence or two, sometimes it's a seemingly unintentional look. You are facing a person, but you clearly feel that you are facing a big book, a long time, an unfinished article that is falling at an exciting time, the words are beautiful, the writing is smooth, people are reluctant to read, and after reading it, they are a little unwilling, looking forward to reading it, and they are afraid that they will finish it soon, and they are looking forward to reading it, but they always feel that there will always be something that they can't understand very well......It's like the Englishman, he's taking care of me, but I don't see what he's doing; He was considerate of me, but I didn't feel too embarrassed at all. These are the hairy lads who walk in fat leg pants with dyed yellow hair and still shaking, and they can't do it anyway. Proportionality and thoughtfulness are the advantages of the "big brothers", and they are exactly what I want. If you love, then it is his person who loves, not his age, or whatever, then what else is there to say?