This relationship just echoes her previous joke in the paragraph: love is like Cinderella's crystal slipper, and the fit will also fall.
In 2023, after the third season of the variety show "Goodbye Lover" is broadcast, about "Fu Seoul and Lao Liu are inseparable", it will be like a boot thrown in the air on the Internet, waiting to land. At the same time, there is a lot of confusion - why did they get divorced? "I don't love anymore" is the characterization of the crux of this relationship between the two parties at the beginning of the show. But middle-aged couples don't have any "substantial" problems, just because they don't love each other, they want to divorce, and this "statement" is not accepted by the people who eat melons. Until the beginning of 2024, a long article posted by Liu Yi on Weibo appeared on the hot search, and the boots finally hit the ground. In the process of ** fermentation, Fu Seoul, who seems to be in a strong position in this relationship, has become the target of public criticism. "I was scolded because I said, 'I can get by,'Everyone doesn't understand, why should you leave if you can live? She told me in an interview. No problem with the question.
When Fu Seoul first appeared in the footage of the third season of "Goodbye Lover", she positioned herself as a "language worker" in a short introduction. This "tough" woman who believes that she "will not lose if she quarrels" once shined on the stage of "Wonderful Story". "Wonderful Story" brings together all kinds of people who can speak, including many academic elites, in contrast, when the director first met Fu Seoul, he felt that she was good at everything, but she lacked characteristics. After thinking about it, Fu Seoul expressed her agreement with the director's evaluation, but she did not back down, but took the opportunity to "fight back": Doesn't this stage need to listen to what an "ordinary person who can talk" thinks? In this way, she became the representative of the "life debater" in "Wonderful Story". In the four seasons of debate programs, the content that supports Fu Seoul's views rarely comes from academic theories cited by the side, and more is more down-to-earth "jokes". For example, "Cinderella's crystal slipper is to tell you that love is like shoes, what fits is easy to fall, let alone what doesn't", and "When a child has a hundred pieces of candy, how can he mind sharing, when he only has two pieces of candy in his hand, why do you ask him to be generous"......While listening to empathy, the audience has mixed feelings in their hearts. She continued to complain with the small incisions she had experienced, and everyone also learned about the difficulties and struggles she had faced, intentionally or unintentionally, and her son and Lao Liu, who were active in the jokes, had long been embedded in the IP of "Fu Ma". Interestingly, whenever the joke unabashedly shows her dissatisfaction and chicken feathers in her marriage, netizens feel that the underlying logic of this "self-blackening" is marital happiness. 
When she received the invitation to "Goodbye Lover", Fu Seoul was hesitant, and her biggest concern was to face the pressure of **. "Over the years, everyone has thought that my marriage is related to my career, and marital happiness is like a kind of 'personality' for me. It seems that everyone thinks that you should be happy, and you are happy, but in fact, I have a lot of problems in my marriage. ”She knew that if she finally chose to divorce, breaking the "stability" of her existing life would have a greater or lesser impact on her career, but she still decided to face it. "It's not healthy if my career is supported by my marriage, and it makes you feel a deep sense of shackles." It is the common will of the two people to participate in the show, and Lao Liu persuaded her to go on a trip together, and sort out the relationship between the two during the journey.
There were three groups of guests on the show who went on the journey together, and Fu Seoul felt "like looking in a mirror with each other", which made her think about intimacy in a new way. Compared with the other two groups of guests, Fu Seoul's pair seems to have no specific contradictions and is extremely peaceful. There is a passage in her golden quotations during the debate: "Love is that you leave a place for me in your heart, and I leave a light for you in the world." That's what the two of them really do. For more than ten years, Lao Liu has been a reliable existence for Fu Seoul. Fu Seoul lacks a sense of security, if Lao Liu's mobile phone is out of battery on a business trip, he has to borrow ** to report safety, he has never disappeared from her life for a day, no matter how late he lights a lamp and waits for her to come back. The strength, stability and warmth that Fu Seoul wanted from a marriage were all satisfied in this intimate relationship. So what is their problem? Both men had a plausible answer in their hearts. One party claims that they will still leave the light for the other, but it is not known whether it is out of habit and duty, or out of love; The other party feels as if the other person "can't see" her emotional needs and has no desire to participate in her life.
The female guests who were exposed to the marital confrontation cried intensively, and Fu Seoul was no exception. "People are good at avoiding pain. There is a TV series called "Escape is Shameful but Useful", many times if you let it go, although this matter cannot be solved, it will not hurt you. Intimacy is about putting up with it, letting it go, waiting, no problem. But in this 18-day journey, there will be no room for you to escape, because you are here to face the problem, to dig into it over and over again. ”
Fu Seoul said in the variety show "Goodbye Lover" that she and Lao Liu are "like brothers, like friends, but not like husband and wife", and Felix Gonzalez-Torres' art installation "Untitled" explains the state of Fu Seoul and Lao Liu from a perspective. Two quartz clocks, starting from the same starting point, are at the same frequency at first, due to the difference in internal structure, it is inevitable that at a certain moment there will be a phenomenon of one fast and one slow, so that with the passage of time, the faster the faster, the slower the slow, until one stops first. There is no doubt that whether it is in terms of the change in career circumstances or the original character, Fu Seoul is closer to the fast clock. However, after the two of them realized the problem, she still wanted to be "faster", but he couldn't be "faster" at all.
When asked "which time of the day is the most comfortable", Lao Liu set the clock to 11 o'clock at night, because the child is asleep and he can look at what he likes; Fu Seoul dialed to 12 o'clock at night, which was the end of one day and the beginning of another, and she had a summary of yesterday and an expectation for tomorrow. In their formulations, there is no other person in the most comfortable moments of the day. Only then did the guests in the observation room realize that the difference in personality and rhythm of life formed an invisible pressure in Fu Seoul's marriage, which made their relationship inelastic.
Goodbye Lover 3" stillsThe right to get off at any time
The recording process of the show just covered the 14th wedding anniversary of Fu Seoul and Lao Liu. Receiving the hourglass gift made by Lao Liu, Fu Seoul felt happy and beautiful, but she knew better than anyone that when she returned to life, marriage problems would not disappear automatically because of her momentary touch. Fu Seoul confided in the other two female guests: she felt her tears when she took pictures under the clock, and thought to herself, "I never expected that one day I would not need a partner, how many moments did I go through to grow into such a person." Whenever asked how women balance their careers and families, Fu Seoul carefully described how he did it, until he suddenly heard a deafening answer"Why do women have to be balanced? ”
Huang Zhizhong, a guest in the observation room, when he saw her taking the initiative to challenge the beach motorcycle in the mission, he sighed: Fu Seoul has changed, she didn't dare to do it before. In the face of Lao Liu, who "pierced that layer of window paper" and proposed to leave, Fu Seoul still chose to look forward calmly even though he reluctantly asked "why the adjustments and changes you want can't be realized in marriage". When she was young, she felt that "it was luck to be infinitely tolerated".When she reaches middle age, she feels that the state of marriage can be put aside first, and more importantly, she should focus on exploring herself.
Fu Seoul, who has entered his forties, feels that his appearance finally matches the "inner weight". Fu Seoul, who grew up with her grandmother, had a relatively turbulent childhood, and she once thought that she was an abandoned child, so she looked forward to having a home of her own, which may be one of the reasons why she chose to quit her job in the big city and return to her hometown and enter into marriage with Lao Liu, who had nothing at the time. And now, what she wants in her unconfused years is to really live for herself"Live comfortably, lightly, and don't have to live to fit life."
At the end of the show, Fu Seoul and Lao Liu were both in a visible entanglement, but neither made the choice of "marriage continues". "Tears are very complicated when I don't 'get off', grievances, reluctance, pressure, gratitude, these feelings are all there. In the end, the husband and wife only breathed a sigh of relief, as if they had never been anywhere, it was not my marriage. Until now, Fu Seoul has admitted that the more than ten years of taking care of each other have been profound, and the support and understanding between them have reached a level that many couples cannot achieve.
decided to divorce, Lao Liu expressed it very clearly in a long post on Weibo, and Fu Seoul also did a lot of self-talk: If both of them have this feeling of exhaustion, helplessness and unhappiness, and are dissatisfied with the current state, is there any way to adjust it? Many people think that their marriage can be okay, but have they asked themselves: Are you happy?
When you are young, you feel as if love can solve life's problems, and marriage seems to soothe the loneliness and pain in your heart. When you reach middle age, you will find that because the way you get along has changed, or because two people have not dealt with a lot of things, you will not be able to distinguish the source of marital problems, when and why. And then to get older, because it is very difficult for people to blame themselves, there is no way to blame life, and finally you have a partner by your side, you can blame him and blame him. If it does, it's not what I want. In her opinion, everyone's inner pain must be faced alone, what is the use of others saying that you are happy?
Some of the comments on the Internet by Fu Seoul and Lao Liu were out of kindness, and it was a pity that such a tacit partner failed to make it to the end. "I chose this because I trust the relationship," she said to me with a wry smile. As soon as these words came out, netizens felt that she was whitewashing. Fu Seoul explained: "The show is a round of tests when it is recorded, it is not like "Wife's Romantic Trip", which allows you to show affection, it is a show that shows the problem of intimacy, and it is necessary for two people to express their opinions on marriage, and only a very trusting husband and wife relationship can do it." "Unlike in the past, this season of "Goodbye Lover" is a study of long-term relationships, and all three groups of intimate relationships are more than 10 years old. She had no doubt that even though all three sets of intimate relationships were problematic, they had all appreciated each other in the past.
"A good marriage is that you are ready at any time, and he has the right to get off at any time. ”The golden sentences that once shone in the debate were all words that Fu Seoul said to himself in the dead of night.
Give up self-persuasion
Towards the end of the interview, I asked Fu Seoul, now looking at yourself in the mirror, do you see the relaxation you want? What do you want to say to your 40-year-old self? "There's not much more to say, it's in a very good state. She replied"Ever since I was sensible, I've been pushing myself, and I've been talking to myself and that's enough. ”
Once, Fu Seoul asked a friend for afternoon tea. The communication between middle-aged women, the conversation will not be very intensive, more often it is two people sitting there basking in the sun and letting go of each other. Fu Seoul felt that the friend opposite made her eyes shine: dressed modernly, it can be seen that she has been carefully dressed, and the whole person is also very relaxed, exuding elegance from the inside; On the other hand, he is disgraced. The bigger difference is that during the process, the other person focuses on basking in the sun, while he has to constantly deal with things at home and work. "I don't have time to drink a cup of tea, why is it mixed up like this? Not slack, not comfortable, this is a real feeling of mine. ”
Goodbye Lover 3" stills Fu Seoul wants to change his lifestyle. She tried to unload everything she could, such as the identity of her wife. This does not mean that she thinks that her partner is not important, just the opposite"A partner is very important, but don't leave the part of your life that you are dissatisfied with or can't reconcile with yourself, with high expectations, let intimacy make up for it."
Today, she prefers to think of intimacy as a person-to-person relationship rather than a man-made rule. "We're with this person, not with marriage. The ideal love in my mind is to be happy together, to be able to communicate, to understand each other, but without each other, I can live well alone. She knew that if she didn't explain further, she might be scolded again, "I think intimacy would be much better if it was treated with the icing on the cake, but many people choose intimacy because they want to give charcoal in the snow." ”Some people blame her and Lao Liu's problems on "strong women and weak men". "It's not our fundamental problem, I think it's amplified in the show. ”
This wave of divorce turmoil not only reflects the confusion of the people who eat melons, but also makes Fu Seoul himself very confused. She found that, first of all, many people can't understand that two people can still be friends after a breakup or divorce. Secondly, everyone has to distinguish between good and bad people in an intimate relationship, for example, in the eyes of netizens, Lao Liu is wise and transparent, and on the other hand, Fu Seoul is automatically divided into the bad side. Just like before, netizens invariably beautified their relationship, and now they are also scandalizing it. "Everyone's perception of marriage and intimacy is still 10 era, just like urging marriage. Modern life is diverse, and as a public figure, I happen to show this different aspect. Fortunately, she is no longer entangled, "Anyway, I don't have any confusion at the moment, it's basically solved."
After the divorce, Fu Seoul's state has not changed much, and she is still engaged in a career, the only difference is that because she suffered the largest appearance attack in her life, she laughed and said that she was "a little afraid to look in the mirror". The source is that in the "36 Questions" at the end of the show, Fu Seoul expressed "I am a charming and good-looking woman", Lao Liu acquiesced, and showed a guilty look for never praising her for her good looks. At this moment, the barrage was flying, and he asked rhetorically: "What do you look like?" Until now, there are still many people who have left messages for Fu Seoul, "Admit reality, you are not beautiful."
I'm thinking, hasn't the Internet been advocating that women should love themselves, be good at discovering their own shining points, not succumb to a singular aesthetic, and believe that they are beautiful? These people who come to scold you and make you admit reality are the same people who preach self-confidence. If not, another group of people are in **? Why don't you come and tell me that you are beautiful and they are excessive? "Well, she is still the Fu Seoul who has frequent golden sentences and "jokes".