When people are old, whether they are happy or not in their old age depends largely on their children.
If the children raised are sensible and know how to be filial to their parents, then they will live a comfortable life in their later years; If children are unwilling to take care of their parents, dislike living with their parents, or even ignore their parents, then their old age will be bleak!
Many people say that in our fine tradition, it is the duty and duty of children to be filial to their parents and take care of them, so most children can be filial to their parents.
However, there are also a very small number of children who, due to various reasons that are insignificant to outsiders, or the opposition of their partners, or the actions of their parents, make it difficult for them to live together because of their relationship with their parents.
I saw this situation in the days when I went back to my parents' house to visit my parents during the Spring Festival, and I will talk about it with you here.
The neighbor lady in the village was very capable when she was young, and she was in charge of most of the affairs at home or the farm work outside, and her husband and the children of the family were all over the place.
It is a blessing to have such a wife and such a mother at home, as a husband and children.
However, when the eldest mother was old and should have returned all this to her children, she was unwilling to admit defeat, even if she was unable to do so, she pointed at the side and told her children what to do.
My eldest mother's son is a few years younger than me, and he told me: "You all say that I am not filial to my parents and do not want to live with my parents, and you also know my mother's character and love to manage things, I don't care, but your brother and daughter-in-law have been angry more times and have opinions." ”
Although the eldest mother's son is a bit difficult to convince the public, those who have experience know that when people get old, they must restrain their character when they get along with their children and their partners.
Just like the people in the old family often say: when people are old, they must recognize the old and serve the old. It's not rough to say, it's true.
When people are old, they don't want to be disliked by their children, remember three things, and your old age will not be bleak!
01. Don't worry too much about your children's affairs
As parents, we must learn to let go slowly and don't care too much about their affairs, even if they are really going to suffer, which is a problem they must encounter on the road to growth.
I remember a relative of mine, who came out to work at a young age to earn money, and saved tens of thousands of yuan in a few years, which was a lot of money in the era when prices were not high.
When my relatives came home during the holidays and walked around, they saw that the town was engaged in development, and there were many stores in ** and rental, so they wanted to invest, rent or buy a store, and they didn't have to go outside to work.
Looking back and forth now, the idea of relatives makes sense, the shops in the town from 20,000 to 30,000 yuan have risen to hundreds of thousands, and because there are many factories nearby, the business of these shops has been very good.
It's a pity that at that time, the relative's parents were very strong, and they felt that the relative did a good job and did not do it, and he had no experience and mind to do business, so they resolutely refused to rent or buy a shop for him.
There was really no way, as soon as the store was mentioned, his relative's parents scolded him, so he could only carry his luggage and continue to work in the factory. More than 20 years have passed in a flash, and the factory no longer recruits people of his age, so he can only go back to his hometown to do odd jobs to help the family.
It's just that as soon as someone mentions this incident in the past, the relatives get angry and hate themselves for not persevering at the beginning, which may also be the reason for this incident, and the relationship between the relatives and their parents has become bad.
Therefore, when the children are adults, parents can talk to their children about their views on what they decide to do, especially in their careers, and do not put on a parental posture and forcibly block their children.
Even if their children's careers fail, they can still afford it and will not blame their parents. Because of their parents, their ambitions cannot be realized, and it is strange that they do not dislike their parents.
02. Don't rely too much on your children
When people reach their old age, it is inevitable that there will be things that they can't do by themselves, and they will trouble their children, which is why it is a big reason to raise children.
However, parents must pay attention to the scale, do not have the idea of doing too much, and ask their children to do everything.
You must know that today's young people are under a lot of pressure, and they have to pay a lot of time and energy to support themselves and their small families, even if they take a few more days of vacation, they are reluctant to deduct their wages.
If the parents are physically able to do something that can be done very simply, don't drag it out and don't want to do it, and you have to ask your children to take leave to go home to do it.
Colleague Lao Zhang said a similar thing. Lao Zhang's hometown is in another city, although it is not too far away, but there is nothing to do, he does not go back, on the one hand, he is too tired to work, often have to work overtime, even on weekends; On the other hand, it also saves some fares.
Lao Zhang's parents called ** and said that the TV at home was broken and asked Lao Zhang to go home and buy a new one. This is not a big deal, Lao Zhang plans to buy one from the manufacturer online, and let a friend come over to accept it when it arrives.
Who knows, the parents just don't agree and feel that Lao Zhang's approach is inappropriate. Lao Zhang had no choice but to promise to go to a local physical store to buy one when he went home from the next holiday.
I believe most people can accept this method. However, Lao Zhang's parents were not happy, and they had to ask Lao Zhang to take leave to go back and buy it, they had to watch TV every night, how could they do without TV!
Lao Zhang is very depressed, it will take 2 days to come and go, and he has to buy a TV, so he will have to take 3 days off, and his salary of several hundred yuan will be gone.
When people are old, there are fewer things, and they can't do it when they encounter something, so let's see if they can solve it first, don't look at this unpleasant every day, that unpleasant to the eye, and annoying people.
03. Don't squeeze together unless necessary
Between people, even between parents and children, it is always good to get along, but it is difficult to live together.
To give a simple example, when we came home from school and vacation, in the first few days, our parents were eager to bring out all the good things to us, and there was really a loving light in our eyes.
When we live at home for a few days, we will find that the treatment is completely different, even if we get up late, we will be scolded by our parents, and we will not get up until the sun burns our buttocks!
In the same way, when the children are married, have a family, and have children, the parents do not have special circumstances, and it is really not recommended to live with the children.
After all, people live together and stay together for a long time, due to the differences in living habits and diets, it is inevitable that there will be conflicts, and they will not be used to each other.
Since you know that there is such a result, if your parents can take care of themselves independently, you should not live with your children's small family, and everyone will be safe.
What's more, children are not the whole of their parents' lives, and parents should also have their own lives. For example, it is a good choice for parents and couples to buy groceries, visit the park, and even participate in some activities for the elderly every day.
Concluding remarks:
Parents have their own lives, children have their own lives, and everyone is really good when they live well.
If parents are not able to live alone and can only rely on others, then leave it to their children to take care of, be obedient, eat well, and rest well. (*From the Internet, if there is any infringement, it must be deleted).