Writer Long Yingtai wrote in "Seeing": "The so-called father, daughter, mother and son just means that you and his fate are in this life, constantly watching his back gradually drift away. ”
Many people believe that raising children and sending them to distant places to earn a living is to fulfill the mission of their parents;All that's left is to grow old slowly and wait for the baby to come back and feed.
This is not the case.
As a parent, you must not only "lift the horse and send a journey", but also be able to recall your children at any time, which is complete. If not, after seeing the child leave, it doesn't matter from now on, and people can't get filial piety when they get old.
Why do some children, after leaving their original families, also lose their filial piety, and when it comes to their parents, they are still bitter?
Everything has a cause and effect, and it is the responsibility of two generations for children to be unfilial, and they need their children to be young and their parents to have foresight.
An old man without virtue has no hope for his children.
What is a family's worst fear?
Not poverty, not vagrancy, but "immorality".
A family without morals is untenable anywhere. The most terrible thing is that the consequences of the previous generation are left to the next.
When a child is "tormented" by his parents, then filial piety is destroyed, and it is no longer a natural thing.
During the Jiajing period of the Ming Dynasty, there was a person named Zhao Wenhua, who entered the imperial court as an official and also recognized Yan Song as his father.
Yan Song was a high-powered minister, who did whatever he wanted, framed Xia Yan, Shen Lian and a large number of loyal people, and was spurned by everyone.
As an adopted son, Zhao Wenhua also did the same, in order to win the trust of Emperor Jiajing, he lied that Yan Song was over seventy years old, and he also drank "Baihua Fairy Wine", so his body has always been healthy.
After Emperor Jiajing found out that Zhao Wenhua was lying, Zhao Wenhua did not admit his mistake, bribed Yan Song's wife, and asked Yan Song to come forward to intercede, so as not to commit the crime of bullying the king.
Zhao Wenhua also falsely accused the anti-Japanese ** Zhang Jinggang of embezzling military salaries.
*we** Zhao Wenhua and showed evidence to prove that he ** more than 100,000 taels**.
Emperor Jiajing waved his hand and sent Zhao Wenhua away. At the same time, Zhao Wenhua's greedy silver has been spent.
Jiajing was furious and asked Zhao Wenhua's children to repay the money one after another.
The father's debts are repaid by the son", so that Zhao Wenhua's children and grandchildren have lived a life of debt for 60 consecutive years.
There is such a passage in "Caigen Tan": "Whether it is parents and brothers, that is, everything is one, people can see the broken and recognize the truth, they can bear the burden of the world, and they can also escape the reins of the world." ”
Parents and children, brothers and sisters are the same bloodline, and only by understanding the intergenerational changes can parents take on the important mission of the family and get rid of the shackles of life and spirit.
The dragon gives birth to the dragon, and the phoenix gives birth to the phoenix", from a realistic point of view, the old man has no virtue, and there are at least three evils.
First, the family spirit is corrupted, so that children are exposed to some negative energy every day, so that they cannot learn useful things.
Second, the image of the family is damaged, resulting in the child not being able to hold his head up in front of outsiders.
For example, a child goes to school and suddenly hears a classmate say, "Your dad stole and robbed, don't you do the same?""Children will be depressed, hate their parents from then on, and be despised and isolated by their classmates.
Third, the family is in debt, so that the children have no way to get rich.
In too many families, parents have literally extinguished the light of hope for their children. Parents who have high expectations for their children are doomed to disappointment.
The children are powerless, the elderly are helpless.
"Filial piety" is not as simple as writing two words, but to be filial, to make life smooth, to have additional conditions in all aspects.
One of my cousins, after graduating from junior high school, went to work in Dongguan.
While working, my cousin met a man in Shaoguan and quietly got married.
Originally, I thought that the area around Shaoguan was also an economically developed place, but my cousin's home, which is in the mountains and rivers, can only be described as four walls.
In order to change his fate, my cousin invested in opening a breakfast shop, but the business was very average, and he ran it for three or four years and lost some money.
Last winter, my cousin's father had cancer, and his children came to take care of him and tried to raise money.
When my cousin came home, he didn't give a penny to his father, and he cried and said to his brother, "All the money is borrowed." ”
When my father was discharged from the hospital, my cousin took 500 yuan from her mother's house to pay for the trip.
Can you say that my cousin is not filial?But she did want to, but couldn't, and filial piety seemed impossible.
The children are financially incompetent, they have been poor, and their parents are old, so they can only live a hard life. Even if you are sick, you can only procrastinate.
Children are emotionally incompetent and have a hard time starting a family, so they always live alone and have no place to put down roots. People who are wandering around want to be filial to their parents, nothing more than to go back to their hometown for the New Year, or occasionally make a **. Perhaps, not going home for many years is like missing.
The child is incompetent at home, and must obey the daughter-in-law and son-in-law everywhere, if the daughter-in-law and son-in-law are not filial, then the child will not be reliable.
The child is incompetent in society, and once he encounters something, he will not be able to open the situation everywhere. When parents are in difficulty, children cannot help them. If the child offends the neighbor, the parents will be turned away when they go out.
Filial piety requires material, emotional, family, etc. as stepping stones, if not, it is "big empty talk".
As the saying goes, "The bell must be tied to the bell." ”
To make children filial, we must start from "parents", and its roots are in "parents".
It is recommended that parents find an elderly bureau when they reach middle age.
Set aside a deposit and hold a pension to financially reduce the burden of pension for children;Encourage children to learn more and have the ability to work and start a business;Create good family values, accumulate virtue and happiness;Set house rules so that children can take responsibility early and learn to be human.