Defeating others is not a skill, but defeating oneself.
As Ernest Hemingway said, "True nobility is not in others, but in superiority over oneself in the past." ”
A person who doesn't even understand himself and can't restrain his negative energy, but wants to teach others, isn't it bursting negative energy on others? If you confront others, you will be ashamed of yourself - use your own negative energy to compare the positive energy of others.
Really powerful people first "beat themselves" and then defeat others.
Defeat your own "arrogance" and be a low-key person.
The young Zeng Guofan passed the scientific examination and entered the officialdom.
At the beginning, he was very arrogant, and when he saw the rapid expansion of the Taiping army, he wrote to Emperor Xianfeng: "Use heavy codes to govern troubled times, and hoe **."
Then, he was ordered to go to Changsha to hold a group exercise, and put on the appearance of doing a big project.
Bao Qibao, the governor of Changsha, was not very cooperative with Zeng Guofan's work.
Zeng Guofan angrily ran to the governor to complain, but the governor said a few perfunctory words, and there was no follow-up.
When Zeng Guofan moved to Jiangxi, the local ** Chen Qimai was not very cooperative.
Zeng Guofan cited to the imperial court six major crimes such as Chen Qimai's "false reporting of military exploits, favoring subordinates, and restricting salaries", which led to further deterioration of relations.
After several failed social encounters, Zeng had an epiphany"Talking about the shortcomings of others is really to cover up your own shortcomings; Boasting about one's own strengths is really the advantage of jealous people. ”
After the extermination of the Taiping Army, Zeng Guofan always went out in an ordinary sedan chair, and he would be polite when he met his subordinates, but in the capital, he became famous, and some powerful ministers would habitually warn the sedan chair man when they went out"Don't be ostentatious, be careful when you touch Lord Zeng's sedan chair." ”
People can be arrogant, but they can't be arrogant.
The arrogance in his bones will make him grit his teeth and do something, to pursue a certain goal. Even if you are poor, you will have backbone.
Arrogance is not good, it looks frivolous, and it can be seen through at a glance, and it can be crushed at any time.
In front of others, you look arrogant, despicable to the extreme, but a clear-eyed person will not say it.
The friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, and plain and insipid is true", such a saying shows a truth - defeat your arrogance, meet people who are good people, and life will be happier.
Defeat your own "face" and get the lining.
In "The Legend of the Condor Heroes", there is a ** lake called Zhou Botong.
He invented a type of kung fu called "two-handed fighting". With your left foot and left hand, you can attack your right foot and right hand.
defeated half of his own, but when he attacked others, he was like two people, and in terms of kung fu moves, he was twice as good as others, and he took a big advantage.
He made a bet with Ouyang Feng and lost. It stands to reason that the "Nine Yin True Scripture" should be written, but he cheated. Would rather jump into the sea and be chased by sharks.
The funniest thing is that he and his junior Guo Jing swore as brothers and messed up the rules.
Someone commented on Zhou Botong"To live freely between heaven and earth. ”
Give up all your face, you can cheat at any time, you can make friends at any time, you won't be restrained because of small things, what is there to be unhappy?
What restricts the development of life is often not a Mount Tai, but a trivial matter - to die to save face and suffer sin.
But all those who lose face are very transparent and live an affordable life.When Wang Anshi, the prime minister of the Northern Song Dynasty, retired, he sent back all the things of the public family, even the small bamboo bed that his wife loved the most. In the second half of his life, he had no worries and did not leave a bad reputation.
Su Shi opposed Wang Anshi's change of law, but when he heard that Wang Anshi had retired, he made a special trip to visit, and also guided the writing of articles, enlarging his own pattern.
After Shen Kuo was demoted, he did not grieve, but retreated bravely, lived in seclusion in Mengxi Garden, wrote "Mengxi Writings", and became famous through the ages.
Lu Xun wrote in the article: "There is a boundary between this 'face', and if it falls below this line, it will lose face, which is also called 'disgrace'." If you are not afraid of 'losing face', you are 'shameless'. ”Take the initiative to give up face and be a shameless person, you will find that there is nothing to embarrass yourself, and you will not see all kinds of tricky people.
Although smiling and living, ups and downs, let it happen. When you are at a low point, look up at the starry sky and slowly rise; At the top, go down the slope and enjoy the comfort of going with the flow.
Defeat your own "greed", and be rigid if you have no desire.
Greed is human nature, and everyone likes wine and wealth.
But there are people who have given up greed and lived a clear stream in front of human nature.
In the early years of the Later Tang Dynasty, Prime Minister Guo Chongtao opened the door and asked his subordinates to give gifts.
The emperor couldn't see it, so he talked to Guo Chongtao: "You, be more restrained, don't be too greedy." ”
He replied: "Your Majesty, as soon as the Later Tang Dynasty was established, my subordinates were afraid that the official position would be unstable, so if they gave me gifts, they would be at ease, and there would be no idea of rebellion; Besides, all industries are waiting to be developed, and these gifts, when they are sold, are a sum of money for the founding of the country. ”
The emperor was greatly moved and wanted to promote him.
He refused, saying, "There are other people besides me, who are also greedy for money." If you punish me, you can block the greed of **. ”
Historically, there have been many incorruptible people who refused to be bribed, or used bribes to help the people. Even if they offend someone, they have a clear conscience.
Why are many people always controlled by others and can't open the pattern, because they are staring at certain interests, their hands and feet are not clean, and they have ghosts in their hearts.Powerful people also need money, but they take it in a good way and deserve it. If you don't think about things that don't belong to you, you will have a lot less trouble in life, and you will have enough confidence.
How can you defeat yourself? It is not to put oneself to death and cause oneself to collapse, but to punish evil and promote good.
Napoleon said: "No one in this world can change you, only you can change yourself, no one can defeat you, and only you can defeat you." ”Find your own shortcomings, and then break them, and your life will be more perfect; Improve your abilities, defeat yesterday's self, and take it to the next level today.
People, to be defeated by others, is really cowardly; Defeated by oneself, excellent.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The picture in the article is ** on the Internet.