Many parents have encountered such a problem:
The more the child manages, the more disobedient he becomes;
What has been said many times, the child just can't remember;
Say a few words and talk back or cry at every turn.
The occurrence of this situation indicates that there is a big problem in communication between parents and children. Communication is not smooth, and the gap is growing.
If you are unable to communicate with your child sincerely, your child will become more and more resistant to communicating with his parents. If communication is not good, it will be difficult for family education to achieve good results.
In family education, when communicating with children, be sure to say 4 words less.
Words to vent your anger
When disciplining a child, it is easiest to turn the words of discipline into words to vent anger and emotions.
For example, when the child does not meet the standards required by him, he will point at the child angrily and scold.
Dr. Ronald, an American expert on emotion management, once said:
Studies have shown that a rainstorm of anger often lasts no more than 12 seconds, destroying everything when it erupts, but then calming down, and controlling these 12 seconds can dispel negative emotions.
When you are in a bad mood, do not educate your children.
Communicating with good emotions is more conducive to solving problems, and with bad emotions it is easy to say angry words, which can hurt children's self-esteem.
The ultimate purpose of parent-child communication is for parents to understand their children better and help them solve problems.
Restrain your emotions in the process of communication in order to say things that are beneficial to your child.
I deny the words of the blow
For a small sapling to grow into a towering tree, it needs a lot of wind and rain, but it needs warm sunlight, fertile soil and plenty of water more than cold wind and cold rain.
The growth of people is the same, they can grow faster by experiencing blows, but they need more care and care, sunshine and rain.
Both adults and children are willing to be appreciated, and denying and attacking children will make children feel that they are useless, Qing Dynasty educator Yan Yuan once said:"If you count more than ten, it's not as long as the prize. ”
In the face of setbacks, encouragement from parents can make children no longer afraid, and even more courageous! ”
And the frequent blows and denials from parents will make children gradually lose confidence in themselves.
Even parents don't support themselves, who else supports them, even parents say that they are useless, who else will recognize their abilities?
In the process of parent-child communication, don't say negative blows, although other people's children are excellent, but their own children are also unique.
Every child is shining, parents should be a little more patient, a little more attentive, and affirm their children's efforts.
If you don't care about your child's feelings
Your grades are poor, and you still have the face to cry? ”
Why does the teacher only scold you and not others? ”
Think about it in a different identity, children also want to surprise their parents, they are also very disappointed when their grades are poor, and they are even more afraid of their parents' beating and scolding.
was severely criticized by the teacher in front of the whole class, and the child was already very sad.
They have been wronged at school and always hope to be comforted by their parentsHowever, parents scold their children for no reason, which is undoubtedly worse for their children.
Some parents hope to wake up their children, but the children are children after all;
Adults have to cry bitterly when they are wronged, let alone children who don't have much experience.
Let children learn to be strong and patient, not by beating and scolding.
Parents should first respect their children's feelings, communicate more with their children, care and comfort them more, and wait for both parties to calm down before analyzing the problem.
Compare other people's words
Look at other people's children, why are you so uncompetitive.
In the mouth of every parent, there is a child from someone else's family.
"You look at other people's children, you look at you again"!
Parents who say this sentence not only have a kind of stubbornness towards their children, but also envy the excellence of other people's children, and try to motivate their own children through comparison.
However, comparison cannot fundamentally solve the problem, and too much comparison will only make the parents' "comparison heart" and "hatred of iron not steel" more and more intense.
It will also make children lose their fighting spirit more and more in the belittlement and suppression of their parents.
Everyone is born in a different family environment, and the material conditions and education methods that parents can provide are different, so children will naturally have high and low grades.
Mere comparison cannot change the status quo of a child's lack of effort and excellence.
Parents should see the good in other people's children and not ignore the strengths of their own children.
In the process of educating children, we must also constantly optimize our own education methods.
Strive to provide good material conditions for children, lead by example, teach by example, and use words of encouragement and praise to motivate children to grow.
Only by doing a good job in parent-child communication can we do a good job in family education, for the sake of the children and ourselves, and say less about the above four sentences.