Whenever I read those world classics that came out in the 19th century, I can always see those great writers express their thoughts on marriage and love, and the stories are always so touching. They criticize social values where money and profit come first, those who are calculating and unscrupulous, and those who treat marriage as a business. They believe that the whole society is deformed, that the human soul is empty, and that the mind is full of the desire for money and the desire for the flesh.
Every time I saw this, my uncle felt that the scene described in the book was exactly the same as our current social environment, and there were not many differences. For example, our current marriage problems are the same as those encountered in Western countries at that time. Uncle has to say that it is really difficult for young people nowadays, and how heavy the psychological pressure is in the face of the feelings of only talking about money and the fatal urging to marry! Who can tell anyone about this depressed feeling? And who cares?
In the eyes of the older generation, marriage does not need to talk about feelings, because no matter how good the relationship is, it will disappear with the passage of time and the tribulations of life. So they think that marriage is just to find someone to live with, as long as they can live together in peace and stability, and everything else doesn't matter. Marriage is just marriage, there is no emotion or emotion, there is no happiness or unhappiness, everyone is the same.
In the uncle's opinion, if there is such an old man in his family, he is really guilty of eight lifetimes of blood mold, because such parents are the most selfish, and they don't know what a happy marriage looks like, and they don't know what life is all about. They don't really care about their children's marriages at all, they focus on when their children get married, and as long as the children are married, their task is accomplished. As long as the children are married, they will not feel embarrassed in the village.
That day, I watched a documentary about a blind date in the countryside, saying that a family of parents broke their hearts for their children's marriage, went bankrupt for their children to get married, and owed more than 200,000 foreign debts. After the children got married, in order to repay the debts, the family was frugal, and every day was steamed porridge and pickles, and there was no meat all day long.
After the daughter-in-law married into the door, she refused to eat such things, and spent money to eat outside, and the mother-in-law talked about the situation of her family, owed a lot of debts, and the children's wages were not high, when would the foreign debts be paid off. But the daughter-in-law thinks that it is your business, what does it have to do with me, no matter which girl you marry, it will cost so much money, so how about foreign debts is still your business, it has nothing to do with me, you just need to give me money to spend.
The son was reluctant to marry a daughter-in-law at such a big price at the beginning, but his parents persecuted him everywhere, and now the reason why he is under so much pressure and lives like this is because of his daughter-in-law. When the son came home, he heard his mother's chatter, so he counted his daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law went back to her parents' house in a fit of anger and never came back.
Later, the guy went to the woman's house under the pressure of his parents to ask the woman to go back, but the woman was unwilling to go back and clearly told the guy that she did not plan to live with him. The two were married for less than a month, and they were about to break up, and the uncle didn't continue to pay attention to what happened next.
The marriage was wrong from the start, and both the boy and the girl were coerced by their parents. At the beginning, the two had no idea of establishing a marriage relationship with each other, and they did not have a correct understanding of the marriage relationship at all, nor did they have a very stable emotional foundation.
For boys, this marriage is just to fulfill the wishes of their parents, and for girls, it is just to fulfill their parents' wishes. In their bones, they actually have no hope for this marriage at all, and they have no expectations for married life, and some are just thinking about completing the task.
For the man's parents, as long as the child gets married and starts a family, then even if he is worthy of the child, he can be regarded as having fulfilled the responsibility of being a parent, and he no longer has to listen to the gossip of the villagers. This is the root cause of their forced children to get married, and they should bear the main responsibility for this failed marriage.
For the woman's parents, I have raised my daughter for so many years, it's time to get a return, the bride price of 200,000 yuan is enough for the elderly, or enough for the son to marry a daughter-in-law. As for whether the daughter is happy after marriage, it doesn't matter, it's a big deal that in a year or two, the divorce will be over, anyway, the current daughter doesn't worry about getting married, and she can collect another 200,000 yuan from him after the divorce, or even more.
Go home on a blind date, uncle really doesn't recommend going to the blind date, those who can go on a blind date have a plan, if you are cautious about marriage, loyal to your feelings, you have already married the person you love, how can it be your turn?
In the face of the current social and cultural situation, the uncle really does not recommend that young people get married in a flash in order to fulfill their parents' wishes, and do not have to sacrifice themselves to fulfill their parents' face and tasks. Because your marriage and life will ultimately be the result of yours. It's okay to be happy, but if you're not happy, what should you do? Who will pay for you?
As a person who manages his marriage well, the uncle wants to say that it is really good to get married, with someone to accompany you, someone to support, and a good life expectation. But what do you do if you don't meet someone who wants to run to happiness with you? Living with someone who doesn't want to create happiness with you, the stable life you want is a dream.
When you get married, you must find someone who is willing to talk about feelings, someone who is willing to put feelings first, someone who is willing to take the initiative to understand your soul, and not someone who talks about money as soon as you open your mouth. Most people who talk about money as soon as they open their mouths will get married because of money, and they will also divide because of money. Isn't such a person equivalent to a meat bun beating a dog to you? Why do you have to find such a person?
If you can't find someone who is willing to run to happiness with you, then be a happy single dog! It's better than finding someone who only wants your money, someone who only wants you to raise. Of course, the article is purely personal and for reference only.