If you see a stunning woman on the road holding an old and ugly man, what is your first thought? I'm afraid you're the same as I thought, "This man must be rich." ”
If you see a guy dating multiple beautiful women at the same time, you might also think that this guy is either rich or handsome.
In fact, behind our thoughts, there is a default principle that we are not usually aware of, but it does exist, and that isPrinciple of equivalence
The principle of equivalence was originally a legal term that refers to the provision of reciprocal value or return to each other in a contract or transaction. Later, it was generally applied in other fields, such as economics, business, interpersonal relations, etc., and similarly, there is also the principle of equivalence in feelings.
In the free market of love or marriage, there are six specific currencies for each person. Appearance, material or property, status or fame, knowledge or learning, social demeanor or character, character.
According to each person's own situation, the scores of these six elements are uneven, and some people can get high marks for their handsome appearance although they have no money; Someone is average-looking, but has an outstanding temperament in social situations can also add points. And so on.
In our past tradition, women rarely show their heads before marriage, and men may study hard, so it is a simplified principle of equivalence. If a man is fortunate enough to take the imperial examination, then his status and prestige score will increase, and there is also potential room for appreciation of material or property, so he may be chosen as a son-in-law by a wealthy family, which is also the principle of equivalence.
If the sum of the six elements of a man and a woman in a relationship is compared, if the scores of the two are roughly the same, they may develop further and even end up together. If there is a large difference in the scores between the two, then their relationship may not be so stable.
Why?
In an unequal intimacy, the dominant partner may be deeply dissatisfied. After the initial intoxication, he (or she) will feel that he or she has lost money and could have made a better deal. This will change from a "scoring" advantage to a psychological advantage, and you will take your advantage in intimacy for granted.
And after experiencing the initial euphoria of "good luck", the weaker party may start to feel anxious, always worried that they are not worthy of the other party and are destined to live an insecure life. And the arrogance of the dominant side will make it even worse.
Such a relationship is unstable, and it will always explode at some point, resulting in the end of the relationship.
Starting from the principle of equivalence, we can deduce two implications.
First, improving one's physical assets can improve one's chances of winning。Maybe this is also the poor boy's counterattack.
Although it cannot be said that the appearance cannot be changed, this bonus is unstable and can even cause negative effects. And wealth and fame don't seem so easy to use as a plus for you. Then you can try to improve the last three qualities.
A person who is knowledgeable, especially in his or her field, will have a unique self-confidence that will allow you to speak eloquently and make you more valuable in the free market. The same goes for social demeanor and character.
Not to mention character, it covers a richer content, love must be loyal, financially responsible, easy-going personality, etc., these are all plus points for the free market.
Second, changes in the scores of both parties after marriage can have an impact on the relationship.
Before marriage, the parties are equal, but after the marriage the parties become unequal, and problems can arise.
Many married couples may encounter similar problems, it is because of the reciprocity of both parties that they enter the palace of marriage, but after marriage, if the wife is out of shape, or the wife's income exceeds that of the husband, or one party is unemployed or appreciated, etc., these things that break the equal status of both parties occur, both parties will subconsciously feel that the other party's "score" is not as good as their own, and they may recoup the excess pay, so that both parties can return to equilibrium.
Think about whether you or your surroundings have encountered something similar, and think about it, is this the case? Share it in the comments section!