Yesterday, while chatting with a friend, I mentioned "power struggles" and revenge in relationships. When he asked suspiciously: Can we get rid of those mental wounds and the past that have been imprinted in our hearts? I laughed and said, "It's true that we can't go back in time in a time machine, and we can't turn back the hour hand." However, what kind of value should be given to the past is a question that the present me faces. ”
Not to be outdone, my friend asked, "Next time, if you are abused by your sense of life, can you not be angry?" I thought about it for a moment and chuckled, "Actually, if someone is verbally abused in person, I will consider the person's hidden 'purpose'. Not only for direct face-to-face abuse, but also for the other party's words and deeds to provoke a 'power struggle'. ”
Seeing my friend's face in disbelief, I went on to explain: "For example, children sometimes play pranks on adults. In many cases, the aim is to attract the attention of adults, who tend to stop their pranks before they actually get angry. However, if the child does not stop playing pranks even when the adult is really angry, then the purpose is the 'struggle' itself. ”
The friend asked, "Why fight?" Seriously, he said, "I want to win, I want to prove my strength by winning." ”
Confused by my answer, my friend asked, "If I were attacked like this, I would definitely fight back." For that kind of impudent bastard, he should be taught a straight lesson, with a verbal fist! I nodded and said quietly, "Actually, if you suppress the argument and the other party who completely admits defeat will withdraw happily." However, the power struggle did not end there. The defeated opponent will quickly move on to the next stage. ”
The next stage? The friend asked curiously. I said seriously: "The 'revenge' stage. Although they are temporarily defeated, the other side may be plotting revenge in other places and in other forms, waiting for revenge. ”
At this time, his friend's eyes suddenly became deep, and he smiled bitterly and said, "Yes, the revenge stage." Once at this stage, relationships are almost irreconcilable. It seems that when provoked by the struggle for power, I should also be like you, and remain calm and not be provoked. ”