In today's society, many mothers are enthusiastic about helping their sons and daughters-in-law take care of their children. However, some mothers do their best to help, but it is difficult to get the approval of their daughters-in-law. They lament that modern daughters-in-law do not know how to be grateful, and kind-hearted mothers are not competent mothers-in-law. However, the daughter-in-law felt that her mother was too strong, and although she had paid a lot, she did not perform satisfactorily in many aspects, which also made them feel that it was not easy to find a good mother-in-law now.
This kind of contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is difficult to determine who is right and who is wrong.
Aunt Han, who is over half a hundred years old, and after her only son got married, she did something that made her daughter-in-law angry. Since then, the daughter-in-law no longer calls her mother-in-law, but always calls her "hey".
This made Aunt Han feel complicated, but she couldn't do anything about it. As time passed, the daughter-in-law gave birth to a pair of twins, and the title of Aunt Han also changed.
My family was not wealthy, and my husband died of illness when my son was a teenager, leaving me with a heavy responsibility. When my son was admitted to university, I thought I could have an easy life, but he told me that just graduating from a junior college is not considered a high degree in a big city.
The son's monthly salary is only four or five thousand, and there is almost no surplus after deducting living expenses. There used to be a girlfriend, but her family learned that their son had no car or a house, and they firmly opposed the marriage.
When my son returned to his hometown with his current daughter-in-law, I learned that she had a bachelor's degree and a higher salary than my son. I can't help but worry in my heart, worried that she may not be willing to marry here and suffer when she sees the poverty of our family. Due to my inner anxiety, when my daughter-in-law first stepped into our house, I behaved enthusiastically and did everything I could to entertain her.
However, I was pleasantly surprised that my daughter-in-law did not complain about our family's poverty. She said that I was very nice to get along with, that I was very good to her, and that she was willing to marry into our family. That night, I was so happy that I couldn't sleep all night. However, when my son and daughter-in-law discussed marriage, I was not optimistic about the prospect of the marriage.
The daughter-in-law's family conditions are better, and she is an only daughter, so she may be spoiled by the family and her personality is a little hypocritical. She called her son, and he had to answer. When she gets angry, her son must apologize. I felt that my son seemed a little low-profile in front of her, so I advised him to break up with her, I didn't want to see my son wronged in front of such a strong character.
I made this suggestion to my son, and he told his daughter-in-law about it. The daughter-in-law was very angry when she learned about it, and the two had an awkward quarrel and had no contact for a long time. I thought they had broken up, but who knew that my son later took the initiative to apologize, and the two reconciled, and my son even urged me to set a wedding date as soon as possible.
On the day my daughter-in-law got married to my family, when she reluctantly called me mother-in-law, she never said that title again.
At dinner, my daughter-in-law wanted to drink water but couldn't find the tea bottle, so she asked me, "Hey, where is the tea bottle?" ”
The son felt that his daughter-in-law was so rude and reprimanded her. The daughter-in-law responded dissatisfiedly: "Didn't she want me to marry? Since she doesn't want to be my mother-in-law, I can only call her 'hey'. ”
My daughter-in-law rarely takes the initiative to communicate with me, and only talks about things when necessary. If I ignore her, she'll call me "ouch". In order to avoid quarrels, I had to endure in silence.
My daughter-in-law didn't want to live with me, so she moved back to her parents' house within a few days of getting married. Her parents had two houses, one of which was given to her.
Since my daughter-in-law moved out, she has hardly reached out to me. When I came back with my son during the Chinese New Year, I either stayed in the bedroom and played with my phone, didn't eat or came out, or went out shopping and didn't come home all day.
My son couldn't persuade her, so he could only comfort me not to be angry, although my daughter-in-law was not polite enough, but she was not bad to my son. I couldn't bear to let my son divorce, so I had to avoid conflict with my daughter-in-law.
When my daughter-in-law became pregnant, I didn't plan to take care of her at first. However, my son told me that she was pregnant with twins and that my daughter-in-law's parents were too busy with work to take care of her, so my son had to ask me to take care of her.
When my daughter-in-law was pregnant with twins, I was very happy and understood that it was not easy for her to conceive two children, so I agreed to take care of her.
Usually I am responsible for laundry, cooking and cleaning up at home. My daughter-in-law barely communicates with me, and I don't take the initiative to pay attention to her. Sometimes, when I was sorting things out, my daughter-in-law couldn't find my own things and would ask me to put them in **, but every time she asked, she always said "Hey, where did you put my things?" ”
Hearing my daughter-in-law speak like this, I felt very aggrieved. I took care of her with all my heart, cooked for her, and did her laundry, but she couldn't even do the most basic respect for me. Once, she was looking for a pair of white sneakers, and when she couldn't find them, she asked me, "Hey, where did you put my white sneakers?" ”
I ignored her, and she repeated, "Hey, where did you put my shoes?" I talk to you, don't you hear? ”
I replied dissatisfiedly: "I'm not called 'hey', how do I know who you're talking to." ”
The daughter-in-law said, "It's just the two of us in this house, who will I talk to if I don't talk to you?" ”
I ignored her and went downstairs with the garbage. I thought that from then on, my daughter-in-law would never call me "hey" again, but that night, when my son came home from work, my daughter-in-law complained to my son, saying that I had made a face to her.
When my son came to me, I told him that it was my daughter-in-law who called me "ouch" first, and I felt angry. Why didn't she call her mom "hey"? Apparently she was uneducated and thought I was a bully.
My son understood that I had been wronged, and when I went back, I had an argument with my daughter-in-law. Surprisingly, the daughter-in-law was so angry that she raised her hand and slapped her son, claiming that the house and car belonged to her, what right did her son have to blame her?
The more my daughter-in-law talked, the more excited she became, and mentioned what happened when they got married, crying and beating her son, and claiming that if it wasn't for my son's stalking, she wouldn't have married him.
Seeing my son being beaten, I was so distressed that I hurriedly grabbed my daughter-in-law's hand and persuaded her not to be angry anymore, is there anything I can endure to endure?
My daughter-in-law was even more angry, pushed me away, pointed at my nose and cried: "You get out of here, who has an unreasonable mother-in-law like you?" My son and daughter-in-law are angry, and instead of blaming your son, you came over to persuade me to endure it? ”
My daughter-in-law rebuked me and angered my son. The son immediately called his daughter-in-law's parents and begged them to pick up their daughter-in-law. At that time, the daughter-in-law was sitting on the bed and crying breathlessly. The in-laws were worried that she was pregnant, and crying so intensely was not good for her health, so they had to take her home.
The next day, my daughter-in-law's mother came to me in person. She first apologized to me, admitting that my daughter-in-law shouldn't have called me "hey", let alone said something like "". She confessed that they spoiled her daughter-in-law and caused her to become so rude. However, she also reminded me that the house we live in and the car driven by our son were all purchased by them, and as a mother-in-law, I have not contributed a penny, and if I can't be more tolerant of my daughter-in-law, then what is the value of my existence as a mother-in-law?
It was then that I realized why my daughter-in-law refused to call me mother-in-law or mother-in-law, because I had not provided for her, had not given her any money, and was not friendly to her. Even if she calls me mother-in-law, she will inevitably be reluctant and reluctant.
On the same day, my son and I went to my in-laws' house to pick up my daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law didn't want her parents to worry, so she followed us home. However, her attitude towards me has become colder, and she is more willing to re-buy things that she can't find than to communicate with me.
I told my son that we must work hard to buy our own house as soon as possible, so that we can avoid bowing our heads in front of our daughter-in-law. But in reality, buying a house is not an easy task. The daughter-in-law quit her job after six months of pregnancy, and now her son is the only one who works hard to support the family, and life is very tight.
The daughter-in-law knew to live a frugal life, rarely went out to eat, and went shopping less often. As the months of pregnancy gradually increase, the daughter-in-law's body becomes heavier and heavier, and she needs to take a break after walking a few steps, and her rest at night is often interrupted, and she has to go to the toilet several times overnight.
In the middle of the night, I heard my son snoring and my daughter-in-law flushing the toilet, and I suddenly felt distressed for my daughter-in-law. If it weren't for my son, why would she have to work so hard? Maybe she would have had a better life if she had married someone who was richer than my son's family.
This made me feel guilty, so I cared for my daughter-in-law to the next level. When I go out to buy groceries, I also buy some fruits for my daughter-in-law. In the late stage of my daughter-in-law's pregnancy, she was a little picky about food and worried that she would eat fat, so I bought more vegetables and fried them. Even though my daughter-in-law still ignores me as before, I'm no longer angry.
On the day my daughter-in-law gave birth, I went with my son and my daughter-in-law's in-laws. My daughter-in-law managed to give birth to two boys, and we were all very happy. I was busy taking care of my two children, while my daughter-in-law's mother-in-law was taking care of my daughter-in-law.
During the confinement, I was responsible for taking care of my daughter-in-law alone. When I was shopping for groceries and cooking, my daughter-in-law was alone with two children, sometimes one child cried, she was not comforted, and the other child started crying again, many times I came back from outside, and found my daughter-in-law holding the child and crying together.
Sensing that she was depressed, when I went out to buy groceries after the child was full moon, I took one child with me so that she didn't have to take care of two children at the same time.
Sometimes after his son gets off work, his daughter-in-law asks him to take the child, but he says that he is tired from work all day and does not want to hold the child. I blamed my son for being ignorant, obviously no matter how tired he was at work, he didn't take the child tired, and my daughter-in-law had already taken the child all day, so it was natural for him to hold it for a while. Besides, if the child's surname is his, if he refuses to hug it, why should the daughter-in-law bear it alone?
It may be that I know how to feel sorry for my daughter-in-law and know that I have to help her speak, and her attitude towards me has gradually eased. Sometimes after both children have fallen asleep, we will discuss together which child has a good personality, even if the child is crying, and sometimes we will laugh together while talking.
When the grandson is eight months old, he begins to add complementary foods. When I was steaming egg custard for my child in the kitchen, I suddenly heard my daughter-in-law call me, "Mom, is the egg custard ready?" Both children were hungry. ”
I was stunned, thinking for a moment that I had misheard? Then, the daughter-in-law shouted again: "Mom, did you hear me?" ”
I held back tears and said, "I heard it, don't worry, it'll be fine right away." ”
After answering my daughter-in-law's words, tears still flowed unconsciously, but my heart was full of joy because my daughter-in-law finally stopped calling me "hey". I wiped away my tears and took the steamed egg custard out.
Gratitude welled up in my heart, and I became more attentive to my daughter-in-law and two grandchildren. Now that my two grandchildren are three years old, although my daughter-in-law and I have had conflicts over the matter of raising children, I no longer say hurtful words, and my daughter-in-law no longer uses the title "hey".
Now I finally understand that my daughter-in-law was reluctant to call me "Mom" because I treated her badly. Later, when I was really kind to her, she forgave me and changed her name to me. Thankfully, I was willing to change, and she was willing to tolerate me, so our relationship gradually improved. In fact, it is not complicated for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along, as long as you treat your daughter-in-law sincerely and treat her as your own daughter, you can naturally win her respect.
On the Internet, if there is any infringement, contact to delete!! List of high-quality authors